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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I put this on the Vatreni Board because of greater traffic. SOmething to laugh about as we countdown the second til Friday's game. Please add on to the list.

You know you're Croatian when....

-Your Dida has a shot of Rakija for breakfast

-Though Baba is 98 years old and 4 feet tall she downs a litre of "crno vino" every night with dinner

-At least one family member makes his own wine

-"Sljivovica" is used not only to celebrate at all occasions, but to cure illness and as a massage lotion as well

-At the age of 13 you are allowed to go out of town with your friends for Croatian Soccer Tournaments, folklore festivals and Dances

-You were still in elementary school the first time you got drunk

-Your parents were at the function where you got drunk

-The majority of your friends are also your relatives

-Even if they aren't your relatives, you refer to their parents as "Teta" and "Striko"

-You are the only kid in your class who doesn't get to sleep in on Saturdays because of "Hrvatska Skola"

-When you come home from school with your report card, instead of getting a reward for bringing home all "A's" (like your American friends), your parents are angry that you didn't get "A+'s" like Stipe did

-If you bring home anything lower than a "B" your parents beat you with a "siba"

-Tata insists that you pick the "siba" yourself

-"Kuhace" are not only used for stirring when cooking... they are also used by Mama to beat you when there is no "siba" handy

-At least once before you've told your parents that you'll call the police to report "child abuse" and each time your parents said "Samo
probaj" (you knew full well that "samo probaj" was a warning, and that if you actually did, they'd probably kill you before the arrival of the police)

-You knew that the words "dat cu ti ja ______ " when you were asking for something not only meant that you could not have it, but that you
might get beat if you asked again

-When Mama gave you the evil eye in public you knew it meant you could expect to be beat within the hour

-Mama beat you in public on at least one occasion

-If you were having dinner at someone's house and you got pinched under the table, you knew you'd get beat in the car on the way home (are we seeing a trend?)

-When leaving the house to go out, you always receive the same warnings regardless of age:
-"Pazi sta radis"
-"Pamet u glavu"
-"Nemoj me sramotit"
-"Nemoj da ja sta cujem"

-Sadly, if something actually does happen, somehow Mama will know before you make it home (baba hotline?)

-When you come home from somewhere Mama will insist that you eat something the minute you walk in the door

-Mama gets pissed off at you for bringing home McDonalds saying, "sta ce ti taj junk?"

-Mama cries when she watches Oprah

-Mama believes everything Oprah says

-Tata insists that watching Oprah is stupid

-he later sits down to watch cartoons (but pretends to be reading the paper)

-Your parents insist that you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate from "fakultet"

-If you're in a rush to get somewhere, and you see a "SR" or "YU" bumper sticker on a car while you're driving, you'll go out of your way to follow the car regardless of the fact you're late

-When going to banquets, weddings or out clubbing you drink before hand and you bring your own supply of liquor

-Tata insists that drinking 10 beers, 10 shots and then driving home is not "drinking & driving"

-You believe Tata's philosophy

-Dinner on a normal day has more courses than Americans have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner

-You make fun of Americans for eating Kraft dinner and hotdogs even though as a child you secretly wished you could have that instead of your home-cooked dinner

-You know that in addition to fruit flavoured Jello, that gelatin can also be prepared with pigs feet

-You've eaten this on at least one occasion

-You love "pasteta", but don't like bringing it to school or work for lunch because you'd be embarassed if someone asked you what it was

-There is a slab of fat in your fridge called SLANINA

-Your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher

-All meals your parents have ever prepared contain one key ingredient -"Vegeta"

-Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand

-All other action stops when you hear people speaking Serbian in a store somewhere

-You insist that you can spot a Serb from a mile away - In most cases, you can

-You have at least one short-wave radio in your house

-Your parents refer to you as "stoka" when they're angry

-You smell garlic on your parents' breath and they insist it smells better than that 'Listerine sranje'

-There is a bar in your church hall that contains a 2 year supply of Brandy

-You live with your parents until you are married

-Your parents still prefer to buy tapes over CDs

-Your parents think too much fun is GLUPOSTI!

-Mama thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat enough

-You are never ever allowed to sit by an open a window for fear of catching pneumonia from the "propuh" (even in the middle of summer)

-When upset, it isn't unusual for Tata to send you "u pizdu maternu"

-Tata wears socks with sandals

-Tata wearing a dress shirt with sweat pants is normal (in most cases the shirt is tucked in)

-Baba and Dida wear at least 3 layers of clothing in all seasons

-Dida spits into a napkin at the dinner table

-Baba knits a wool blanket with every colour known to mankind and says,"Ovo je za tebe, jel volis?"

-Your parents turn the channel when there is a kissing scene

-Dida insists you are quiet while he watches the news even though he doesn't understand a single word they're saying

-Regardless of the fact he doesn't understand what they're saying, he knows more about what's going on in the world than you do

-You never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from Mama and Tata as you were growing up*

-While you're a kid the words you hear the most are "Donesi mi _______"

-The use of vulgar language at home is unacceptable, unless it is Croatian

-Whenever your parents said "vidit cemo" you knew that it meant "NO!"

-Your cousin in Croatia who calls you to send him money had a Cell phone before you and wears only name brand clothing

-Your relatives in Croatia think it's strange if you are not married by the age of 18

-You have at least 6 close relatives named Marija or Ivan

-You haven't seen your cousin in 15 years because he married a Amerikanka

-At parent teacher conference you find out that Mama gave your teacher permission to beat you

-You pay for your college tuition in cash

-You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland

-all of your relatives in Croatia have lost their teeth by the age of 30

-on holidays in Croatia you have to be careful of who you fool around with in your selo because the majority of them are related to you

-You've not only seen, but have actually used an outhouse

-You know that in order to smuggle 'domaca sljivovica' into America without having it detected you have to bottle it in plastic bottles

-Though you were born and raised in America you still have a Croatian accent

-There is at least one rosary hanging in every room of your house

-You are only allowed to speak Croatian at home

-English words are acceptable if used with the ending "A-T-I" which makes them Croatian... "play-ati", "study-ati

-Your parents only hang out with Croatians, nothing else is acceptable

-you know your croatian when baba tells you that your not fat, and to eat more, even though ur 300 pounds

-when baka makes SARMA!

-when mama offers to make a snack and this snack consists of some large serving of meat, potatoes and paprika ...

-when your baba was the only baby sitter and you spent most of your childhood with her

-You only know 1/5 of the people who attend your wedding!

-Your mama tells you not to sit on concrete slabs or your ovaries are going to freeze!

-you're 13 years old but you can outdrink any Amerikanac

- you can't eat a meal if there is no bread or meat

- you NEVER eat yesterdays bread

- people think you are too loud

- the only music you ever knew is Thompson...

- you always have to explain why your name is written a certain way

- your parents talk about how life is better in croatia but never actually think about moving back

- your parents make you skip school in order to watch the croatian soccer team play on tv (FIFA)

-you spend hours looking at their photo albums of their last trip to Hrvatska even though you've seen those photos at least a dozen times.

-When it's finally time to go home (2 am) your parents + teta i stricek talk at their front door for 30 minutes.

-your parents spell english words with the croatian alphabet
 

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- You have proljev 2 days before a quarter-final match with Turkey in Euro 2008, and have decided not to watch the game due to mental anguish, anxiety, and a risk of heart attack or jail time.
 

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-At the age of 13 you are allowed to go out of town with your friends for Croatian Soccer Tournaments, folklore festivals and Dances

-You are the only kid in your class who doesn't get to sleep in on Saturdays because of "Hrvatska Skola"

-"Kuhace" are not only used for stirring when cooking... they are also used by Mama to beat you when there is no "siba" handy


-When leaving the house to go out, you always receive the same warnings regardless of age:
-"Pazi sta radis"
-"Pamet u glavu"
-"Nemoj me sramotit"
-"Nemoj da ja sta cujem"


-When you come home from somewhere Mama will insist that you eat something the minute you walk in the door

-Mama gets pissed off at you for bringing home McDonalds saying, "sta ce ti taj junk?"

-Dinner on a normal day has more courses than Americans have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner

-You love "pasteta", but don't like bringing it to school or work for lunch because you'd be embarassed if someone asked you what it was

-Your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher

-All meals your parents have ever prepared contain one key ingredient "Vegeta"

-All other action stops when you hear people speaking Serbian in a store somewhere

-You insist that you can spot a Serb from a mile away - In most cases, you can

-Your parents refer to you as "stoka" when they're angry

-Your parents still prefer to buy tapes over CDs

-Mama thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat enough

-You are never ever allowed to sit by an open a window for fear of catching pneumonia from the "propuh" (even in the middle of summer)

-Baba knits a wool blanket with every colour known to mankind and says,"Ovo je za tebe, jel volis?"

-Dida insists you are quiet while he watches the news even though he doesn't understand a single word they're saying

-Regardless of the fact he doesn't understand what they're saying, he knows more about what's going on in the world than you do

-The use of vulgar language at home is unacceptable, unless it is Croatian

-You have at least 6 close relatives named Marija or Ivan

-English words are acceptable if used with the ending "A-T-I" which makes them Croatian... "play-ati", "study-ati

-when baka makes SARMA!

-when mama offers to make a snack and this snack consists of some large serving of meat, potatoes and paprika ...

-you're 13 years old but you can outdrink any Amerikanac

- you can't eat a meal if there is no bread or meat

- you always have to explain why your name is written a certain way

- your parents talk about how life is better in croatia but never actually think about moving back

- your parents make you skip school in order to watch the croatian soccer team play on tv (FIFA)

-you spend hours looking at their photo albums of their last trip to Hrvatska even though you've seen those photos at least a dozen times.

-When it's finally time to go home (2 am) your parents + teta i stricek talk at their front door for 30 minutes.

-your parents spell english words with the croatian alphabet

Those were and are true for me. :howler:

My mom has actually used "Jebo ti Allah mater" in front of Bosnian Muslims and the conversation with them would just continue as if nothing had been said.
 

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- You have proljev 2 days before a quarter-final match with Turkey in Euro 2008, and have decided not to watch the game due to mental anguish, anxiety, and a risk of heart attack or jail time.
too true mate.
 

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In fact, i've been a frequent visitor to the crapper and it's seldom solid since 2 days before the tournament. Is that normal?
 

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Ero, it is before a Euro quarterfinal against Turkey, or anybody for that matter.:scream::)
 

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Ero, it is before a Euro quarterfinal against Turkey, or anybody for that matter.:scream::)
ero,grba,

i actually shit my pants today. a little "njokic" came out. im not ashamed to admit it. its not out of fear. more out of a fear of losing. i mean, we beat england twice, and beat germany, and lose to turkey in the quarters?!

i know the turks will take offense to my post, but i simply cannot stomach the idea that they might beat us in the quarters. so ive opted not to watch the game.
 

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ero,grba,

i actually shit my pants today. a little "njokic" came out. im not ashamed to admit it. its not out of fear. more out of a fear of losing. i mean, we beat england twice, and beat germany, and lose to turkey in the quarters?!

i know the turks will take offense to my post, but i simply cannot stomach the idea that they might beat us in the quarters. so ive opted not to watch the game.
You'll regret it if you don't watch..
 

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You'll regret it if you don't watch..
i know.... a jebiga... my "zivce" are going into overdrive... i simply dont know if i can watch this game.

the plan is to go Queens, NY, and watch it with my "people". well, the teeny-boppers, and posers will be out in full force that day looking for a party.

i dont judge them by any means. let them have fun. but myself , and definitely Grba and Majstor have invested so much into this team the last ten years, that i will take the "possible" loss personally,instead of the posers who dont really care, and are looking to score with guys/girls this upcoming friday.... (let me add that Grba has been following "nasi"for the last 25 years!!) they have never taken off from work to watch estonia, latvia, malta, andorra, malta, bulgaria, slovenia, san marino.. etc! and now after all these tournaments and qualifiers, we have a REAL chance of making it to the semis, and if so, then JEBIGA!, lets go all the way!!! these people just dont understand....

ok, my whinging is done. come on HRVATSKA!!!!! :):):):)
 

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Croguy you have to watch history in the making, like Hajduk Hrvatska said you will regret not watching.
 

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Not watching is even worse than watching...actually not watching is IMPOSSIBLE...I tried that for the last 10 minutes against Italy in 2002 and didn't make it past 30 seconds.

You take your seat and after 10-15 minutes, when the game settles into its pattern, it's possible to pick out the dangerous moments...personally, I like to switch on the Croatian commentary and when Car Igor screams OPREZ!!!! I know what time it is...:smileani:

Other than that it's a fun experience and lasts far too short IMHO...:howler:

BTW, great post petro...:thumbsup::howler:
 

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Discussion Starter #17
Any of you Canadian/Southern Ontario Cro's know where to buy some Ozjusko or Karlovacko Pivo?

Found nothing in the beer stores or the liquor stores in my area (Burlington).
 

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Any of you Canadian/Southern Ontario Cro's know where to buy some Ozjusko or Karlovacko Pivo?

Found nothing in the beer stores or the liquor stores in my area (Burlington).
Petro I work for the LCBO and we stopped selling Karlovacko about 2 years ago:rollani: we don't import it anymore, I tried talking to my store manager not only about beer but also about our lack of Croatian wine as well(we used to have Kastelet and Plavac), and even bringing in Pelinkovac. He said he would mention it at the next managers meeting we'll see he is on the advisory board:rolleyes:

No one ever game me a real reason but I think it has to do something with our shitty consulate here in Ontario, shitty business sense and Karlovacko breweries worsening condition.
I would love if we imported Velebitsko:eek::pp
 

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Strange, we still have it here, even in the towns in NJ outside of NYC. I'm actually having a Karlovacko as I type this, but it's not the Karlovacko of years ago, too alcoholy(if that's a word) and simply skunked tasting. I prefer the Czech beers and even Lasko which we don't have here, Ozujsko isn't great but better than Karlo, not exported here though.
 
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