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me and friends did this enjoy


>YOU KNOW YOU'RE CROATIAN WHEN..
>
>All meals your parents have ever prepared contain one key
>ingredient: "Vegeta".
>
>You were still in elementary school the first time you got drunk.
>
>You are never ever allowed to sit by an open window for fear of
>catching pneumonia from the "propuh" (even in the middle of summer).
>
>There is a bar in your church hall that contains a 2 year supply of
>Brandy.
>
>You insist that you can spot a Serb from a mile away.
>
>The use of vulgar language at home is unacceptable, unless it is
>Croatian.
>
>English words are acceptable if used with the ending "A-T-I" which
>makes them Croatian... "play-ati", "study-ati".
>
>Your Dida mowes the lawn in knee high black socks and sandals.
>
>Your Dida has a shot of Rakija for breakfast.
>
>At least one family member makes his own wine.
>
>"Sljivovica" is used not only to celebrate at all occasions, but to
>cure illness and as a massage lotion as well.
>
>At the age of 13, you are allowed to go out of town with your
>friends for Croatian soccer tournaments, folklore festivals and
>dances.
>
>Your parents were at the function where you got drunk.
>
>The majority of your friends are also your relatives, even if they
>aren't your relatives, you refer to their parents as "Teta" and
>"Striko".
>
>You are the only kid in your class who doesn't get to sleep in on
>Saturdays because of "Hrvatska Skola".
>
>"Kuhace" are not only used for stirring when cooking...they are also
>used by Mama to beat you when there is no "siba" handy.
>
>At least once before you've told your parents that you'll call the
>police to report "child abuse" and your parents said "Samo probaj".
>
>Mama beat you in public on at least one occasion.
>
>When leaving the house to go out, you always receive the same
>warnings (regardless of age): "Pazi sta radis", "Pamet u glavu",
>"Nemoj me sramotit", "Nemoj da ja sta cujem".
>
>Sadly, if something actually does happen, somehow Mama will know
>before you make it home.
>
>Mama gets pissed off at you for bringing home McDonalds saying, "sta
>ce ti taj junk?"
>
>Your parents insist that you'll end up a nobody if you don't
>graduate from "fakultet".
>
>Lunch on sundays have more courses than Amerikanci have for
>Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.
>
>You know that in addition to fruit flavoured Jello, that gelatin can
>also be prepared with pigs feet.
>
>You love "pasteta", but don't like bringing it to school or work for
>lunch because you'd be embarassed if someone asked you what it was.
>
>There is a slab of fat in your fridge called SLANINA.
>
>Your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
>
>Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand.
>
>All other action stops when you hear people speaking Serbian in a
>store somewhere and your mom starts to talk to you in english so
>that the serbian people won't find out you speak "their" language
>and start trying to be your friend.
>
>You have at least one short-wave radio in your house.
>
>You smell garlic on the old man's breath behind you sitting on the
>klupa in church on Sunday mornings.
>
>You live with your parents until you are married.
>
>Mama thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat
>enough.
>
>When upset, it isn't unusual for Tata to send you "u pizdu
>materinu".
>
>Baba and Dida wear at least 3 layers of clothing in all seasons.
>
>Dida and/or Baka spits into a napkin at the dinner table.
>
>Your parents turn the channel when there is a kissing scene.
>
>Dida & Baka insist you are quiet while he watches the news even
>though he doesn't understand a single word they're saying,
>regardless of the fact he doesn't understand what they're saying, he
>knows more about what's going on in the world than you do.
>
>You never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from Mama and Tata as
>you were growing up.
>
>Whenever your parents said "vidit cemo" you knew that it meant "NO!"
>
>Everything that goes wrong in the world can somehow be traced back
>to Serbs
>
>Your cousin in Croatia who calls you to send him money had a cell
>phone before you and wears only name brand clothing.
>
>Your relatives in Croatia think it's strange if you are not married
>by the age of 18.
>
>You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland (and Cuba).
>
>You are only allowed to speak Croatian at home or when you need to
>talk about someone behind their back in a store, etc.
>
>Your 13 yr old sister can out drink any Amerikanac.
>
>You cringe when you hear the word BATINE and hide.
>
>Your parents still prefer buying cassete's over cd's.
>
>No one can pronounce your last name and every kid on the block has a
>nickname for it.
>
>A CROATIAN wedding consists of a minimum of 1000 people, 2/3 of
>which you don't even know.
>
>
>
>>>You're still laughing your ass off cause u know every single one
>>>of these are true!!!!!
 

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"pamet u glavu"...hahaha
 

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well I read this before..:D

for me the most true ones are getting drunk (don't think 8th grade is elementary school though :D )

the window one, my father refuses to open windows or put on AC :howler:

the mom beating me in public :thmbup: :howler:

Parents always cautious, hating when I bring home fast food and my mom knows everything somehow :howler:

>No one can pronounce your last name and every kid on the block has a
>nickname for it.
For me, its not the hardest but still some trouble

man 95% of these are true! :D
 

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hrvatski kralj said:
You are never ever allowed to sit by an open window for fear of
catching pneumonia from the "propuh" (even in the middle of summer).

At least once before you've told your parents that you'll call the
police to report "child abuse" and your parents said "Samo probaj".

Mama beat you in public on at least one occasion.

When leaving the house to go out, you always receive the same
warnings (regardless of age): "Pazi sta radis", "Pamet u glavu",
"Nemoj me sramotit", "Nemoj da ja sta cujem".

Lunch on sundays have more courses than Amerikanci have for
Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.

Your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

You live with your parents until you are married.

Mama thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat
enough.

When upset, it isn't unusual for Tata to send you "u pizdu
materinu".

Whenever your parents said "vidit cemo" you knew that it meant "NO!"

:howler: :D
They're all true, but these I like the best !!
 

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There is another similar list that I have seen, but it was an Australian guy who did it. I couldn't find it but found this one. You have probably seen it aswell.


HOW TO SPOT THE CRO!

What exactly is a Croatian?

Hailing from the Balkans, the powder keg of Europe, Cro's are a tall
and somewhat western looking people. Fiercely independent, funny, quick to
anger and even quicker to get drunk. Croats have blended into
mainstream Australian society with little discomfort. True, some elderly
Croatian people are still dumbfounded as to why they cannot brew their own lethal spirits in the garage for mass distribution and sale, but an endless supply of Resch's Pilsiner and Saxa table salt appears to have appeased those disaffected.

Upon entering a Croatian household, the Aussie interloper will be
barraged with images of a red and white chequered shield. This pattern
will appear on everything from tissue boxes, necklaces, the stove
cook-top and in particular - wedding photo's. It is called the Grb. An
ancient symbol derived from a famous Chess match between King Tomislav (the Cro equivalent of King Arthur) and an unknown opponent (possibly a Serbian Oliver Cromwell). The resident Croatian mother will insist you stay for a quick meal before you go out. This 'quick meal' naturally turns into a five course extravaganza with all the trimmings. Cro food is big on potato's, cabbage and bread. You will be expected to demolish at-least half your body weight in bread in accompaniment with your meal.

The Cro father will astound you with his sensational grasp of English
swear words. Most of them picked up from Irish labourers on migrant era
building sites. Linguistically speaking, in Croatian Father English -
'****en' is compulsorily used as an adjunct to a verb or noun. For
example: Uncle Franjo says: 'Why! Come in house with mud on your boots, ****en' Ivan the butcher says: 'Ok, now five pound cevapi for you, ****en'

Any Cro household will have a number of late 20's early 30's siblings
still living at home. This is primarily an economic practice so the
family building company has it's labour resources on tap. It is also
helpful come tax time when the company must re-register it's assets
with different siblings to avoid paying capital gains.

Going out with your Cro mates is always an experience. Apart from being
the shortest person in the group, the tag-along Aussie will find
comfort in Croatian drinking habits which closely resemble those of the
average Australian. Like many Eastern European peoples, Cro's have their own indigenous vodka type spirit, theirs called Rakija. If you have no
serious business to attend to the next day, a strongly advise you give
this stuff a try. At the King Tomislav Club in Sydney, they serve it in
50ml shots. I downed four of them at Croatia Vs France during the 98'
World Cup and went down for the count around the same time as Slaven
Bilic, the Croatian defender. Bilic, got up as soon as the penalty was
awarded - I, on the other hand stayed well and truly out of it till
noon the next day. My Cro mates' dad, Ante, reckons some Rakija is made from distilled grass (as in the shit on your lawn!), though I'm unaware of the validity of this.

In my experience, Croatian women are the embodiment of elegance and
perfection. They are all usually taller than me which can be a bummer
but their sharpness of feature and alluring grey/green eyes will always
keep me going to Sydney UTD home games. On the lesser end of the scale 'Croatian Effies' do exist! Big hair, long legs and mouths like
bricklayers. They are easy to spot as they usually wear the
predominantly blue Croatian 'away' strip jersey on excursions into
Parramatta or Chatswood Westfields.

Dating a Croatian girl requires a thorough understanding of Balkan
politics and theology. If you are of Irish catholic descent, flaunt
this openly - especially in front of a superstitious Croatian mother. If
you're Anglo Proddie or Scottish Presbo, be sure to mention that you
DID take communion. If you belong to any other religious denomination,
especially the Quakers - hide it. Better still, wait in the car with a
club lock handy just in case.

All in all, if you like going out, getting pissed and coming home to a
freshly cooked meal. Croats are the people you should be hanging out
with. In a small group they can be riotous and unpredictable but always
good value. In a larger group they can be murder, 'the Lebs of the
Balkans' at times, especially after a loss at home to Olympic. Make a
friend with one and you're stuck with them. They're loyal people who
choose their friends carefully. You may not have seen a Cro mate for
several years but you'll still be invited to his wedding and, yes, he
will be drunk there too.

Excerpt from "The Wogs of Australia (A guide for Aussie Blokes) by M
Henderson"


And also this: http://www.wog.com.au/article_main.asp?ArticleId=184
 

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You are never ever allowed to sit by an open window for fear of
catching pneumonia from the "propuh" (even in the middle of summer).

You insist that you can spot a Serb from a mile away

The use of vulgar language at home is unacceptable, unless it is
Croatian. ´

"Sljivovica" is used not only to celebrate at all occasions, but to
cure illness and as a massage lotion as well.

At least once before you've told your parents that you'll call the
police to report "child abuse" and your parents said "Samo probaj".

Mama beat you in public on at least one occasion

When leaving the house to go out, you always receive the same
warnings (regardless of age): "Pazi sta radis", "Pamet u glavu",
"Nemoj me sramotit", "Nemoj da ja sta cujem".

Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand

All other action stops when you hear people speaking Serbian in a
store somewhere and your mom starts to talk to you in english so
that the serbian people won't find out you speak "their" language
and start trying to be your friend

You have at least one short-wave radio in your house

When upset, it isn't unusual for Tata to send you "u pizdu
materinu".

Whenever your parents said "vidit cemo" you knew that it meant "NO!"

Everything that goes wrong in the world can somehow be traced back
to Serbs

No one can pronounce your last name and every kid on the block has a
nickname for it.

So true...
 

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HajdukSplit said:
this too :pp :dielaugh: :jester:
Yep, that too...Once when I was 10 I wanted to see the reaction from my father.....he didn´t hit me.....I did it unprovoked :eekani:
 
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