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Legend
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17,146 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
This is some hilarious stuff. Just read it and you'll understand...:tongue::howler:

P.S. Has anyone ever got into such an agreement before?:) :tongue:

Cheers.;)

THE PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT


This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to herein as the "Agreement") is entered into as of the _____(date) day of
__________(month), 20__(year), by and between ___________ and
____________.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping over - UNLESS IT IS VERY GOOD AND WE NEED TO REPEAT IT IN THE MORNING.
2. No meeting in public except for dinneror drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9pm - (we don`t have shyt to talk about).
4. None of that "lovemaking" shyt -- strictly mind blowing-sex
allowed.
5. No emotional discussions...(ex. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me -- Hell naw... so don`t ask stupid shyt.)
6. No plans made in advance ... that is why you are called the
"backup." Unless you are from out of town, then it`s only a one time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - (money and diamonds are always good)
8. No baby talk (however, dirty talk is encouraged)
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers (it`s really none of your damn business)
10. No kissing (too intimate except to other body parts -- no
mouthkissing..yuck)
11. No calling each other "friends with benefits" (we are not friends just sex buddies)
12. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don`t be offended
13. No extra clothing (I don`t want your azz leaving anything behind when you leave.)
14. No falling asleep right after sex -- get your azz up and go home - it`s over damnit.
15. Don`t be offended if I don`t ask if you enjoyed it (I don`t care).
16. You can not borrow my car for any reason
17. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be, "My roommate`s girlfriend/boyfriend"
18. Doggie style preferred (just hit it hard and right or get the hell out.)
19. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better. (Don`t want to look at your azz -just want to have sex with you)
20. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME (so don`t keep calling damnit)
21. The most important one: no condoms = no sex -- carry your azz home.
22. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
23. No phone usage please-don`t want anyone calling back looking for your azz.

* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement,this Agreement will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. You will be BLOCKED from all communications untilyour silly azz understand the
rules.

Participating Party Signature: _____________________________________
Date:________________

Participating Party Signature: _____________________________________
Date: _______________
 
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