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Discussion Starter #1


So who is Mike gonna offer the full-time job to?

John Carver? :D

Tim Sherwood?

Come on, surely some yes man :hopeful:

Tim might think too highly of himself to say yes.
 

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https://twitter.com/moneymikeashley

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Jan 11 When I read that Remi Garde made £68m from selling players at Lyon my cock went as hard as a concrete block.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Jan 5 Don't worry @OfficialOAFC it'll take a lot more than a convicted rapist for me to remove Sports Direct advertising.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Dec 31 Ally McCoist was an excellent team captain on Question of Sport, which I'm obviously taking into consideration.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Oct 22 Top 10 finish is minimum requirement this season. Unless we don't manage it.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Oct 18 Can someone lend me their Sky Go username and password so I can show Sky Sports News on the big screen at halftime?? Cheers.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Sep 15 If you want to abuse Pardew on Saturday then buy a ticket from the box office. He can't hear you from outside.
 

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Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
45 minutes ago If Pards has taught Carver anything it'll be to say that he's 'still the right man for the job' after this match.
 

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Lineker : “Brilliant tactics from Newcastle board to delay appointing their new manager so they don’t have to buy any players in the transfer window.”

^ would not at all be surprised.

Ashley has made it clear that cups are not a priority. Main thing is avoid relegation and don`t attempt to qualify for Europe and be prepared to have your best players sold from under you. Oh and a rolling contact on low wages to boot.

No coach with ambitions would want to manage us.
 

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Some more beauties

https://twitter.com/moneymikeashley


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
3 hrs ago Carver keeps saying he wants the job. Yeah, I want a tug off Cheryl Cole but there's two hopes of that happening.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Jul 15 Locked in talks to sign a Monaco striker. It's either Falcao, James Rodriguez, or Emmanuel Riviere. I'm not saying which.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Jul 30 Just wanked off over Southampton's balance sheets.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Aug 16 We're one point off 8th and we haven't even kicked a ball yet!


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Sep 13 Didn't know Pele was going to be playing for Southampton today. No wonder we're losing.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Oct 14 Settled on an Alba 32" plasma eventually. £180 from ASDA Benton.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Oct 18 Usually the game is on the telly, if we aren't careful the telly will be on the game.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Oct 28 see Steven Taylor was overlooked for the Ballon d'Or shortlist again this year.
 

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https://twitter.com/moneymikeashley

Some new ones.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Feb 2 A productive window so far. 6 out 0 in.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Feb 2 Loaning 4 Newcastle players to Rangers. Nothing at all suspicious about that.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Jan 26 Just a quick update for the fans. John Carver's contract expires in 2020.

Love it!
 

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Mike [email protected]
Good draw today. It's hard to compete with the likes of Stoke financially

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
5h 5 hours ago 47,763 here today. Against Stoke. Battle for 10th. It's freezing. And it's on the telly. Money talks, and it's told me to stay
 

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Love it like a fat kid loves Donuts!


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
5h 5 hours ago Fifty Shades of Great savings over at http://sportsdirect.com (UKs number 1).

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
21 hrs 21 hours ago I send a sports direct mug out with all my valentines cards.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Feb 11 Opposition fans, if you are going to hoy coins, aim towards the directors box. Cheers.
 

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https://twitter.com/MoneyMikeAshley


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Mar 2 Adam Johnson is at Newcastle airport flying to Florida with his lass. He's going to Tampa with her.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Mar 3 So I've been fined £7500 by the Scottish FA. That should keep the Scottish League going for the next 50 years.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Mar 4 This whole #Rangers thing was a bad idea. Think I'm just going to stay at Newcastle forever now, where I'm appreciated.
 

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Some great posts following the supposed boycott of the Spurs match

https://twitter.com/MoneyMikeAshley


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 3 hours ago
Comforting to see the majority of 'protesters' wearing this season's Wonga shirt.

#nufc #BoycottSpurs


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 3 hours ago
Full house. Lol.

#nufc #BoycottSpurs

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 50 minutes ago
Proud to announce the highest attendance this weekend at 47,000. We should have a boycott every week!
#nufc #BoycottSpurs


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 50 minutes ago
It's no use boycotting now. It's the 92nd minute!

#nufc #BoycottSpurs
 

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Discussion Starter #15
John Carver accuses Newcastle’s Mike Williamson of getting sent off deliberately
John Carver accuses Newcastle’s Mike Williamson of getting sent off deliberately

http://gu.com/p/48424


Hilarious. Another top interview from Carver
 

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And on the subject of Mike Ashley, some great tweets!

https://twitter.com/MoneyMikeAshley

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 3 hours ago
Janmaat and Williamson won't be at the West Brom game, make sure YOU are!
Tickets on general sale now from the usual outlets.
#nufc

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 4 hours ago
Glad we let Santon go now. Definitely didn't need an Italian international in defence.
#nufc #lcfc

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 5 hours ago
We will 100% not lose this game. You can quote me on that.
#nufc
 

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never realized Carver coached in the MLS, I guess he was there when they went through their British phase with Mo Johnston and co. :D
 

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Discussion Starter #19

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I was just heading to post this after reading it, hilarious. Even funnier than the convenience store video...
 
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