Xtratime Community banner

1 - 20 of 31 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,550 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I posted this in the love forum, but at the bottom there is the reason why I need advice from you guys on this topic


Well, I don't know why I'm writing this, but you guys might be able to relate to this and give me some tips.

I've fallen in love with this girl, she has a great sense of pride and isn't a girl who really likes being around blokes, she's kind of a precious girl, if you guys can understand, doesn't give any blokes an inch.

This girl is absolutely breathtaking, she is beautiful, she is a genius, she averaged 95% in her exams, shes got the world's most amazing smile, she's just....omg, shes an angel, the perfect girl.

Ok, in Term 2 (we finished Term 4 about 2 weeks ago and skewl is over) she started showing me signs that she likes me and all, like the occasional comment ('you look cute in those glasses' etc.) Don't forget this girl NEVER, EVER talks to blokes, except me.

Term 3 she'd say the occasional 'bye and cya', but wouldn't show anything she showed in Term 3. When exam time came along, she took herself into 'serious' mode and didnt really do anything. Then it became clear that her older sister had fallen in love with my best friend (who's about 2 years older than me), and both of them became Religous girls because of some work we did. After exams, I fell ill, and she had enough of bottling up her feelings for me, and she became alot clearer about the way she feels about me, and now im stuck in a 8 week holiday without any contact between us, (she became religous remember, and she's now on an Islamic camp) so im here waiting for these bloody 6 weeks which are left to go pass, so we can start our 'love' life which has entered a new phase.We are both 'good' at school, with me being the kid with good marks who is also one hell of a trouble maker. I average a 90% (with minimal effort and work) and she's a little more serious about it all and has therefore reaped her efforts in the form of a 95% average.

Now, she loves me and all, but she's serious about her studies and has taken on a new religous phase, so she's not going to go all out, what you guys think?

===================================

Okay, shes egyptian, im lebanese, her parents want to leave Australia and go back to Egypt when she finishes year 12 (we just finished yr 10) because they dont have much friends/relatives here, her parents aren't all that religous, and they (her and her sisiter) had fights with their mother about them wearing clothes which are in accordance to Islamic customs and ways. Her older sister is currently in love with my older friend, and they have a plan for getting engaged and everything (her mother knows about everything). Now, this girl loves me for my looks (alhamdulilah), good marks (alhamdulilah), and the person i am (alhamdulilah again), but, ive got to get things serious with her (to the level her sister and my friend are at, talking bout engagement etc.), and ive got to change the way she thinks because of the way i act (immature around school), ive gotta make things serious for me and her.

The reason i say this here is because, ive finally found a girl who is great in what normally appeals to blokes, and the fact she is religous and has heaps of self-respect, I dont want to lose her and fall in love with some aussie sl*t who will wreck me. Take this as me asking for advice as someone who wants to do things according to 'usuul' and someone who wants win a reliogus girl who is one-in-a-million.

Thanks ppl in advance
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,550 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
Btw...my Username is quite ironic, im a muslim who has very strong belief and alot of knowledge (for a 15/16 year old anyway), but im not currently practising :(
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,861 Posts
Christian, the pair of you are incredibly young (only 15!), my suggestion is that you remain friends, grow up and then see if you can build a lasting marriage out of a friendship.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,116 Posts
Do not listen to Nat, she is that kind of girls who do not make you dinner when you ask for it :pp

If you ask me, go for her, girls like her are rare nowdays, once you finish school get engaged.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,458 Posts
Sorry, Pooh, I'm with Nat. Christian, you're 15, so what's the hurry? Don't rush into things, don't rush her. Remain as friends, and if she is really the one for God has made for you, then she'll always be around....
 

·
nomad
Joined
·
5,597 Posts
I feel good for you Christian because you found a girl you like and she likes you as well, and I hope for the best for you 2 in your studies and life, but as Nat. & Safe already stated, you are pretty young so although everything appears to be perfect between you two, you are still young and there are many other factors that come into a relationship, I advise you to keep clsoe to her and learn more about each other, and hopefully eventually there'll be a happy ending for both of you! :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,861 Posts
Believe Safe, L4E and me Christian, she hasn't finished growing and neither have you and the worst thing for you to do is to rush her into an engagement as soon as you hit 16 and the pair of you find by the time you are both 22 that you are bored and needed to do a many more things before you got married. If you are meant to be then Allah will protect your friendship and you'll end up together!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,550 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
ENGAGEMENT AT 16?!?!?

YOU KIDDING ME?

I TURN 16 IN 2 MONTHS !!! :D

I meant getting engaged at 17/18, I'm not that stupid :D
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,861 Posts
What's the difference of 1 year at that age?!?

I have changed so much from how I was aged 16 / 17 / 18 and so will the pair of you! Slow down and take it easy. Have you thought about her as well? Maybe she doesn't want to rush into a marriage at a young age.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,458 Posts
Judging by what you said about her in your first post, Christian, it seems to me she has a mind of her own. Didn't she go into 'serious mode' when she had to and didn't she had 'fights' with her mum about "wearing clothes which are in accordance to Islamic customs and ways"? :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,550 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
First of all, its better for you guys to understand im more of a 16 year-old than a 15 year-old, and there's a big difference in that one year trust me :D

You see, remember the part about her parents wanting to leave Australia after she does yr 12? (in 2 years from now), its not like I have forever you know.

She likes the idea of getting engaged early Natalya (we're Arab Muslims remember :D)

It's kind of a tough situation for me, she has told me..'if you love me Abdul, and you want us to be together forever, you have to remember my parents are very serious about leaving Australia in 2 years time'

Listen, I don't like being in a situation like this at all, im 16 years old and im supposed to be enjoying myself with girls and stuff at this age. BUT, we have fallen so in love with each other recently, and the thing is, SHE'S LEAVING IN TWO YEARS, and trust me, we have such a good level of understanding, we're both mature enough to know whats going on, shes leaving in two years, i have to get her to talk to my parents about me or something.

This sounds nuts, i really know, but I've got to be engaged to that girl by 2.5 years max, thats if i want to be with her for good.


:wallbang: :wallbang: :wallbang: :frustrat:

why on earth have i been chucked into the deep end this early?!?! :frustrat:

btw...Pooh, i love you :D
 

·
MVP
Joined
·
8,991 Posts
Play it slow dude. A couple times I've seen a girl and said to myself "Oh yeah SHE is THE ONE."......only to find out that she ain't.

But then again obsession is a real b*tch. Don't let it get to that. :)
 

·
nomad
Joined
·
5,597 Posts
Well, since her parents are really serious about leaving in 2 years, and we assumed that you 2 got engaged, will her parents decide to stay? And if they decide to leave despite that, there will be 2 options, a) She will travel with them and the closest thing you two will have is a visit once or twice a year max., somep phone calls here & there, and probably the internet, which in short is a long-distance relationship which simply doesn't work. OR b) Her parents will leave and she will stay, which brings several questions, where will she stay? How will she secure money? You will be 18, you will be probably a university student or in the last stages of high school or even working, will you find enough time for her and your family?

Trust me don't rush things, you don't want to get yourself in such a mess (and sorry for using this term) already, take your time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,861 Posts
Christian I do understand the whole early engagement thing (I have many Arab girlfriends) but what I have also seen is that those who get engaged and/or married early tend to nearly always break up within a few years, because they rushed into an idealised version of marriage.

L4E has a good point, how will you provide for this girl aged 18? I'm sure you want to go to Uni and improve your chances of getting a good job, how can you do this and support a wife (and possible children, because even if you don't plan for them, they can still come)?

She's leaving in 2 years time, see what happens within those 2 years. I know it seems impossible now, but it could be that by that time you can't stand each other and woudn't marry each other if you were the last people on earth.

Also guys tend not to be mature enough to get married so early (sorry guys), there is a reason men don't seem to marry until their late 20s and that's because they have a hell of a lot more growing up to do than women.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,096 Posts
liverpool4ever said:
I feel good for you Christian because you found a girl you like and she likes you as well, and I hope for the best for you 2 in your studies and life, but as Nat. & Safe already stated, you are pretty young so although everything appears to be perfect between you two, you are still young and there are many other factors that come into a relationship, I advise you to keep clsoe to her and learn more about each other, and hopefully eventually there'll be a happy ending for both of you! :)

totally agree :thmbup:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,116 Posts
Go for her Christian, do not to listen to the mind's voice when your heart is screaming love. At the end of the day its your feelings and its your needs.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,861 Posts
Says the man who is still single at 28!!! Would you get married at 16?
 

·
Rated [D] for Danger
Joined
·
5,472 Posts
I am muslim, an arab and 10 years your senior, which doesn’t necessarily mean I know any better than you but it means I understand the situation.

lets forget about romanticism or the players code, which you show that you don’t abide by, and think of it rationally (although reason wouldn’t bring the answer you want to hear), having optimistic high expectations will only bring you down.

although there’re no rules carved in stone and an 18 years old man or woman could be serious, mature and ready enough for marriage, no matter how rare that might be nowadays, you still have to think of the future. not in terms of choice since we don’t really know you or her and you guys might really be good enough for each other now and for the future, but in terms of what things, including marriage, both of you want and how to obtain them.

her parents think seriously of leaving the country after her last high school year, which means that if they go through with it then you two don’t have a chance especially since she’s religious, I’m sorry. if her parents decide to stay and you guys are given the time to work on this normally then good for you, if not then you owe it to yourself and her to not rush things and let go to avoid the pain. I know inaction out of fearing to be hurt isn’t the healthiest way of living but this is different.

this is my sincere advice and may Allah bless you and grant you the wisdom you need to make the best decision.
 
1 - 20 of 31 Posts
Top