The Best Ever Quotes Of 'Bad Tinkerman'
And there are some absolute beauties - including The Zoo Series, the Mary Poppins outburst, the 'Dead Man Walking - Scottish' train of thought and lots more from the man who will be sorely missed...
"If it is the case that you need just a first 11 and three or four more players, then why did Christopher Columbus sail to India to discover America?" - Why indeed?
"Football managers are like a parachutist. At times it doesn't open. Here, it is an umbrella. You understand, Mary Poppins?" - Nope. No. Not at all. Sorry Dick.
"Damien is Damien. When I don't put him in the squad my mother, who's 84, asks 'why isn't Damien playing?' She kills me about it and that's true" - Mrs Ranieri has a thing for little Irish men.
"My only technical adviser is my mother. When I told her that Damien had injured his shoulder again, she said 'oh no!' Who should replace him? I will call her before the game to ask." - This is getting worrying.
"He's a crazy man" - Ranieri on Ranieri.
"They showed good stamina and good vitamins" - The Arsenal win explained.
"Before you kill me, you call me the 'dead man walking'. I must buy you an espresso. But only a little one - I am Scottish!"
"Two years ago I watched Carlton play for the reserves and I saw two animals in him - one was a rabbit and the other a lion. I want to see that lion come out in him more often" - Ranieri on Carlton Cole.
"He is my new little lion. And I like lions" - Ranieri on Hernan Crespo.
"He is like a shark, like Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink" - Ranieri on Mutu. But then...
"I once said Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink is like a shark and Carlton Cole like a lion. Well, Adrian Mutu is another born predator. In fact, Mutu is like a snake" - Ranieri changes his mind and completes his zoo.
"I am happy when our fans are happy, when our players are happy and our chairman is on the moon" - Well, when your chairman's Ken Bates...
"One coach was training a player's hair, and another was training another part of his body" - Now that's what we call the personal touch.
"One beautiful day, a radiant day, Mr Abramovich introduced himself to me and said I should put a shopping list together" - Claudio Ranieri. Poet.
"When I talk to the players I speak first of all in English, then I say 'sorry, now I will speak in Spanish, or Italian. Then on the touchline I speak another language so the other manager doesn't understand what I am saying!" - Explaining it all.
"When are you coming, Sven?" - Ranieri's words of greeting to Sven when the two met at Highbury last season.
"I can't change now. I'm like Frank Sinatra - I always do it my way. I told the players everything I did in the Monaco game was wrong. I changed things to win the match - but we lost and I was thinking "Oh f*** Claudio, why, why? Bad Tinkerman!"
"I think Veron is the best midfielder in the world" - The funniest of the lot.