My rant

I know I have not posted here in months but I figured now is the time.

Never in my life have I seen such as sad-sack group of pathetic losers as I did this morning at 5 AM. Why the hell did I even wake up? Why not just sleep through? I was having a good time dreaming of 3-somes with Chasey Lane and Jennifer Anniston....but alas...my alarm clock rang and it was my duty to wake up and support the team.

I quickly went downstairs and got the coffee going and unwrapped my newly bought blank video casettes. I took the sticker out of one of my videocassettes and stuck it on the back and neatly wrote with my black marker:

Portugal-USA 2002/06/05

I popped it in the VCR, put it onto TSN (The Sports Network) and caught the national anthems just in time. I settled down on my couch anticipated a victory, a hard fought one. My dog came down the steps soon after and nestled beside me, followed by my stepdad.

Four mintues into the game the **** started to stir. I was one of the biggest supporters of taking Baia to the World Cup.....but.....not as titular....as the 3rd keeper. Nonetheless I was surprised to see him there and new we would be victimized on the first corner kick we faced. Voila! Just like that we were. 1-0 USA.

The Boys reply was simple. "lets play ****tier" they all said in Unison. And then voila, the "Head of god" goal off of Jorge Costa and it's 2-0. If Baia would be hugging the near post like he does that fine wife of his, it would never have been 2-0. A few minutes later and Couto had a severe brain cramp and it's 3-0. Beto salvaged some national pride for the team and made it 3-1 at halftime. But who were we kidding? You honestly thought that 40 minutes of horrid football would be that easy to overcome.

I was hoping that at halftime a bombshell would drop and Oliveira would announce his resignation and Mourinho would get onto the Superman express and take over for the rest of the World Cup. (I have some acquired some information nuggets on Oliveira the past few months that has turned my admiration for the man into Joao Pinto like hatred).

We come out in the second half and yeah we looked strong, but what for? Even when Agoos gave us a gift of a goal I knew we would never score. No one on the team was on the same page, or maybe they were just confused by Oliveira's choice of substitutes. Rui Jorge for Paulo Bento? Jorge Costa for Jorge Andrade? Rui Costa for Nuno Gomes with 10 minutes to go? Was Oliveira going for drama or the win? I don't know...I wish I did...but I don't know.

Why did he tell NG to start training for the game at the start of the second half and only bring him in at the end? Is there a reason for Joao Pinto? Really is there? Can the ref just show him a straight red card so he can't play for us anymore? Can someone please break his knee? I can't tolerate watching this man anymore. Why was he still on the field and Rui Costa off it? Why did Nelson and Pedro Barbosa get called up when Quaresma and Postiga would clearly be better selections? Why can English national team coaches bet on young studs like "Owen (1998)" Gerrard, and Hargreaves....yet we still used tired old retarded horses like Joao Pinto daMerda, Paulo Bento and yes...my beloved Jorge Costa was a sack of merda as well today. Is there something in our DNA that tells us we cannot grow balls?

As for my nuggets of info on Oliveira...I won't reveal all, just let you know this. There are certain players that certain teams cannot afford because they are appearing in the world cup. There is a certain man who stands to pick up a substantial amount of dinheiro from their transfers because of a certain company he and his brothers own. There are also certain players who are not affiliated with this company (Pos+Qua) and thus were not selected.

I have not jumped off the bandwagon...yet. Though I am wary. Either the boys bounce back big time or we go down faster than the Titanic. Amazing, 16 years of waiting for this merda. F*ck it...I'm going to watch Oprah.

Marco