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Discussion Starter #1
found this on another forum :D

from youtube...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wsg5Q6tDoU

a twist of the Chuck Norris jokes on Pinilla...

1. Mauricio Pinilla once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Mauricio Pinilla allows to live.

3. When Mauricio Pinilla drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.

4. When Mauricio Pinilla was born, the nurse said, "Holy Crap! That's Mauricio Pinilla!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

5. When Mauricio Pinilla goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

6. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Mauricio Pinilla could use to kill you, including the room itself.

7. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed a tenner from Mauricio Pinilla and forgot to pay him back.

8. Mauricio Pinilla can count backwards from infinity.

9. Crop circles are Mauricio Pinilla's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

10. When Mauricio Pinilla jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Mauricio Pinilla instead.

11. Mauricio Pinilla can divide by zero.

12. In fine print at on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Mauricio Pinilla, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

13. Mauricio Pinilla is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's ****.

14. Mauricio Pinilla has two speeds: walk and kill.

15. Mauricio Pinilla is the reason why Wally is hiding.

16. Mauricio Pinilla can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

17. You are what you eat. That is why Mauricio Pinilla's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

18. Mauricio Pinilla once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

19. Mauricio Pinilla played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

20. If you were to lock Mauricio Pinilla in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Mauricio Pinilla replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

21. On his birthday, Mauricio Pinilla randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

22. Mauricio Pinilla doesn't believe in condoms. Instead, he sticks his **** in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while shagging another.

23. When Mauricio Pinilla does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

24. Whenever Mauricio Pinilla puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.

25. Mauricio Pinilla invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. SpongeJohn Squareheid invented pink.

26. Mauricio Pinilla coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

27. Mauricio Pinilla haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.

28. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Mauricio Pinilla punched himself in the face.

29. Mauricio Pinilla, David Hasselhoff, Chuck Norris and Mr T once all met in a bar, it exploded as no room can contain that much cool!

30. Mauricio Pinilla is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

31. Mauricio Pinilla is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Mauricio Pinilla.

32. Mauricio Pinilla can touch MC Hammer.

33. They once made a Mauricio Pinilla toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

34. If Mauricio Pinilla is late, time better slow the **** down.

35. Mauricio Pinilla once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

36. Mauricio Pinilla was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of head-butt related deaths.

37. Mauricio Pinilla appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a head-butt. When asked bout this "glitch," Mauricio Pinilla replied, "That's no glitch."

38. Someone once tried to tell Mauricio Pinilla that head-butts aren't the best way to kill someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

39. The jackhammer was invented after a construction worker saw Mauricio Pinilla having sex.

40. If Mauricio Pinilla was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Rob Jones, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Jones twice.

41. If you wake up in the morning, it's because Mauricio Pinilla spared your life.

42. Superman wears Mauricio Pinilla pjs.

43. If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Mauricio Pinilla says its beef. Then you better believe it's beef.

44. Mauricio Pinilla once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

45. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Mauricio Pinilla. Sounds like a fair fight.

46. Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Mauricio Pinilla does not feel like carrying you.

47. Mauricio Pinilla was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Mauricio Pinilla.
 

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Thats Mauricio in SIMPLY 47th ways ... if you dont believe still ASK the venezuelans that saw his naked ASS:ass: on that historic Chile WIN in Venezuela a couple of yrs back ... :dielaugh:
 

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wow. just noticed he`s just turned 24.......he seems to have been around forever

nO shit ... If it wasnt for him and Jimenez (Inter de Milan) .... the Cheap Chilean tabloids would be bankrupt by now :dielaugh:
 

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nO shit ... If it wasnt for him and Jimenez (Inter de Milan) .... the Cheap Chilean tabloids would be bankrupt by now :dielaugh:
Actually .... Pinillas and Jimenez WOMEN ...they're the ONES that keep the TABLOIDS alive ... :cap:
 

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Second Place Winner, December 2011 Photo Contest
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Sorry Manolete ... Erroneous Charges from Me part !!!! :mute:
 

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Gone from Hearts .... :dielaugh: What a BASKET case this worm is !!!!!! :howler:


Pinilla no se rinde: "Ahora tengo tres o cuatro ofertas" :mute:

El ex delantero azul descartó colgar la garrafa y lamentó no haber podido "mostrar mis habilidades en el Hearts".
 

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ESCOCIA:
Pinilla renunció al Hearts por líos en contrato

Hace casi un mes que Mauricio Pinilla estaba realizando una pretemporada especial en Lituania, país del presidente del Hearts, Vladimir Romanov. Pues bien, el periplo llegó a un inesperado final: el jugador renunció al club escocés, producto de un cambio de condiciones en el contrato, que lo iba a ligar a la institución de Edimburgo por cuatro temporadas más. El ariete dejó así su quinto equipo en Europa, tras pasos por Chievo Verona, Inter de Milán (Italia), Sporting (Portugal) y Celta (España).


Chilean discos are waiting for Pinilla :D:D
 

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This ASS stil wants to play Futbol ?????

:dielaugh:

Titán del Vitoria luso: Ni a misa con gozador Pinilla


Cuando los voladores afirmaban que Mauricio Pinilla volvería a la Superliga de Portugal, para carretear en el Vitoria Guimaraes, el presidente de la institución, Emilio Macedo, puso la cuota de cordura y negó por todas las cruces que jamás le ha interesado. El capo luso fue contactado por Radio Santiago de Guimaraes, donde no sólo descartó la llegada del delantero chileno, sino que además rejuró que no se le pasó por el mate incorporar al titán gozador.

"Lo digo claramente: No existe ningún acuerdo con Pinilla, nunca lo tuvimos ni nunca lo tendremos. Nunca estuvo en los planes de Vitoria Guimaraes. Son mentiras que inventan los diarios", afirmó con así una vena y puntualizó que jamás se contactó con algún empresario por el ex jugador.
 

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El Grossero firma en el Grosseto !!!! :)

Otra oportunidad más: Pinilla fichó en el Grosseto

Viernes, 21 de Agosto de 2009

El ex delantero de Universidad de Chile estuvo una semana a prueba en el conjunto toscano y el estratega del club, Stefano Pioli, terminó por incluir al chileno en la plantilla y firmó un contrato por un año. Así, el ariete comienza su octava aventura en el extranjero.
 

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He's actually doinn kind of well in 2nd Div Italy .....
 

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Mauricio Pinilla anotó dos goles en la derrota de Grosseto...Sigue anotando el huevon malo !!!!!
 
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