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33,200 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Recent newspaper reports have suggest that the Glazers will hand Sir Alex an "unlimited" budget this summer in order to challenge both Chelsea in the Premiership and make United a force in Europe once again. For a moment let's suspend disbelief; putting aside the absurdity of the new owners spending millions of pounds that they don't have, while being unable to meet interest payments on £690m worth of debt. For once RANT is going to delve into the world of fantasy, leaving behind the RANTING for an optimistic outlook. We've called for Sir Alex to gracefully retire on this site... well here's our 'fantasy league' strategy for making United great again. Fergie is sacked, RANT Manager comes in. We've given ourselves just two rules - this is a one-time splurge before the debt really hits home so we must build for the long term; and the targets must be realistically obtainable.


Let's be honest Edwin van der Sar is doing a fine job but he's entering the twighlight of a glorious career. Meanwhile, Tim Howard is talented but never going to consistent enough to make it at Old Trafford. Tim's a confidence player and that's no good if you're a goalkeeper. With RANT's goal of building for the present and future in mind we're going to eschew the famous names of European football such as Buffon and Cassias - they're unobtainable. Instead, RANT is going for Mexico's outstanding young 'keeper Guillermo Ochoa, who plies his trade at 'America' in his homeland. Having made his debut for Mexico aged just 20 he has already become the national team's first choice between the sticks, and rightly so. He was discovered by Dutch legend Leo Beenhakker - a man who can spot a player - who was then the manager at America. Beenhakker put the youngster into the first team of the Mexican giants aged just 18, from where he has blossomed.

The Defence:

With the addition of Vidic and Evra, the more consistent fitness of Brown, the improving form of Ferdinand and the experience of Neville, few changes are realistically needed at the back. Phil Bardsley, Jonathan Spector and Gerrard Piqué will increasingly be able to provide cover at the back as they continue to develop. However, as new manager RANT will be shipping Mikael Silvestre back off the France for however many Euros some sucker will pay. John O'Shea will similarly be getting the boot - he just hasn't progressed since he broke into the first team.

Should we need to make acquisitions two outstanding youngsters come to mind - Anderlecht's towering central defender Vincent Kompany and the prodigiously talented mobile right back Anthony vanden Borre of the same club. Kompany will cost in the region of £10m, having attracted interest from clubs across Europe including Chelsea and Liverpool. Vanden Borre should cost less but has already been the subject of enquiries from German giants Bayern Munich.

The Midfield:

Let's start with who's for the chop: we'll be saying a (not so) fond farewell to Quinton Fortune, Kieron Richardson, Alan Smith, and The Scottish Player. Simply not good enough for United. Liam Miller isn't good enough for a pub team and will be summarily shot. Hey, we're rich, we can do anything we want. Just ask Amanorabitch!

In will be coming three top-class midfielders, all at the top or destined to be world class performers. Young Spanish right-winger Joaquim has attracted scouts from almost every top European club. He's quick, aggressive and most importantly delivers outstanding service to the front men. He is most certainly underperforming in a poor Real Betis side but his talent is much, much more than that. At 25 Joaquin has years ahead of him and his acquisition will drive even greater competition in wide areas. Moreover, as an old fashioned winger the fans will love him.

Javier Mascherano, the Argentinean central midfielder, may be an obvious choice but will offer greater steel to the United engine room. He's more than media hype however - those poor sods who stay up late watching channel five football from South America will know him as tough tackling, combative, deceptively quick but skilful defensive midfielder who would be a worthy successor to Roy Keane. He may have been out with a serious knee injury for the past few months but will still cost more than £10m from Brazilian club Corinthians. He would prove to be a bargain compared to the £24m that Chelski paid for knee-capper Essien. Mascherano's acquisition could still be a risk however, given United's poor success rate with South Americans - Gaby excepted.

RANT's final midfield purchase is an attacking midfielder who at just 20 has the ability to make it all the way to the top, even if he is yet to do so. Diego Ribas de Cunha, a man who has the talent and charisma to make the attacking midfielders slot his own in the years to come, currently plays for Porto - something of a suprise move last summer given his glowing reputation coming through the ranks at Santos. RANT's two alternatives would be the outrageously classy Riccardo Montolivo of Fiorentina who is currently being wasted out on the left wing in Sierie A and Jesús Nava of Sevilla - a gifted playmaker who could yet force his way into the Spanish world cup squad.

Finally, with our new-found wealth RANT will also be encouraging the new owners to hold firm on John Obi Mikel, the quite brilliant Nigerian teenager whom so wowed the African Nations Cup public. He's a contracted player - forced him to commit to that contract, and develop at United or rot on the sidelines.

This strategy would leave Giggs, whose experience is invaluable, Scholes (ditto), the ever improving Park and the mercurial Ronaldo to fight it out with the new acquisitions for just four midfield spots with cover in all areas.

The Forwards:

This is tricky one - Rooney and van Nistelrooy are two of the finest attacking players in European football. Added into the equation is the power, pace and movement of Louis Saha and the bright young talent of Giuseppe Rossi. Some have doubted Ruud's commitment and application this season but 19 goals have belied this as nonsense. However, there is an argument to say that repeated injuries last season have blunted Ruud's pace just a little. Remember the big Dutchman sprinting from the half-way line, ears pegged back, against Arsenal in 2003 to score a brilliant goal that helped take the title to Old Trafford? Well we haven't seen that kind of thing in a while. However, he's still the finest goalscorer on the continent and RANT has decided to keep him on.

In that case our final purchase is going to be Lukas Podolski of FC Cologne - the young man who is charged with shooting Germany to glory this summer. He's a talented inside-forward of rare breed who not unlike Wayne Rooney is adept at finding space in between the midfield and opposition defence, but can also play as an out-and-out striker. With Real Madrid and Bayern reportedly desperate to secure his services it will require a massive fee for United to bring the Polish-born German forward, who has scored 10 in 20 internationals, to Old Trafford.

Backroom Staff:

This is a crucial area in need of dire revision. On entering the job RANT will find a backroom staff of Ferguson cronies and a scouting network that is consistently beaten to the punch by the more nimble Arsenal or cash-rich Chelski. That needn't be so and our first job will be to bring Roy Keane back to Old Trafford - where he belongs - in a first team coaching capacity. The excellent and innovative Brian McClair will be kept on as reserve team coach, as will fitness coach Valter di Salvio, despite criticism levelled at him in some quarters. In will also come the talented young Frenchman Paul Le Guen as RANT's new assistant manager. Le Guen wants to learn from the best and RANT is certainly that(!). Mick Brown will return to the club as chief scout - he should never have been forced to retire in the first place. He will be charged with overhauling United's global scouting network. John van den Brom will be brought in as academy head from Ajax - he will turn around United's failing academy system that has concentrated on buying in overseas talent more than producing our own.

Carlos Quieroz will be marched out of the club and posted back to Mozambique where he'll be able to end all war on the continent by boring everyone to death with a symposium on 4-5-1 tactics.

The Balance Sheet

Silvestre - Olympic de Lyon - £3m
Fletcher - Glasgow Rangers - £3m
Howard - LA Galaxy - £1m
Fortune - Bolton - £500,000
Smith - Newxastle - £5m
Richardson - West Brom - £3m
O'Shea - Celtic - £2.5m

Ochoa - America - £3m
Joaquim - Real Betis - £18m
Diego - Porto - £8m
Mascherano - Corinthians - £12m
Obi Mikel - Lynn Oslo - £4m (already paid)
Podolski - FC Cologne - £20m

Potential Buys:
Kompany - Anderlect - £12m
Van den Borre - Anderlect - £5m
Riccardo Montolivio - Fiorentina - £8m
Jesús Navas - Sevilla - £8m

Spent: £61m - £94m
Recouped: £18m

... and then we wake up from the dream to find Richardson, O'Shea, Smith and Fletcher in midfield. Nightmare!



3,804 Posts
Podolski for 20 million pounds? Insane!

If we wanted him, we would get him for 5, max!!

We don't need him tho. Good player but unnecessary at this time and stage.

Komapny :thumbsup:

Navas :thumbsup:

Mascherano :thumbsup:

Joaquin :thumbsup:

Diego :thumbsup:

Obviously this will never happen

33,200 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
Obi Mikel is already here and we have paid the £4 mill for this prodigious midfield talent, the problem is the agent.

Joaquin to United would not be a problem if Betis get relegated(highly likely).

And Diego wants out of Porto.


3,073 Posts
Alan Smith shouldn't be sold. And I don't think this will happen. United will sell a couple players and buy two players max.

338 Posts
I thought it was pretty funny as it's complete nonsense but at the same time it is the way football is going!

I think that some of these players are obtainable and if the rumour is true and SAF has a extremelt large budget, then there is no reason not to believe that we can aquire 2/3 new world class MF's!

But then we are only dreaming! :lala:
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