Just one thing...
41 - 60 of 80 Posts
OK, this thread has taken a life of its own. Lets continue to amuse Jure and inspire Kerry.
Last crazy chick I dated had several weird tendencies. One was that under no circumstances would she allow you to touch her head while she was performing oral lap service. Not even a tender stroke of the hair, so you could forget the double handful of hair with the rythmic depth finder assist method. (I am a tender lover). Boom, if you touched her head it was over and she'd freak.
Another area of concern was the term you used to refer to her most private of areas while in the heat of passion. The p word was cool, but if you even whispered the c word, well forget it Jack, that psycho babe would jam on the brakes and you were done. She was hot, but after a while too weird even for Saturday afternoon hit and runs. Real glad she has never called me once after I bailed.
Last crazy chick I dated had several weird tendencies. One was that under no circumstances would she allow you to touch her head while she was performing oral lap service. Not even a tender stroke of the hair, so you could forget the double handful of hair with the rythmic depth finder assist method. (I am a tender lover). Boom, if you touched her head it was over and she'd freak.
Another area of concern was the term you used to refer to her most private of areas while in the heat of passion. The p word was cool, but if you even whispered the c word, well forget it Jack, that psycho babe would jam on the brakes and you were done. She was hot, but after a while too weird even for Saturday afternoon hit and runs. Real glad she has never called me once after I bailed.
Joined
·
32,859 Posts
I dated an angry chick - Argentinan skirt. Hot as hell, but psycho jealous. Once when I showed up at her apartment 30 minutes late, convinced that I was f*cking around, she tried stabbing with a fork. Took about two a hours of "I love you"s to calm her down... My salvation was that she had her visa expire and had to go back to Argentina.
She used to insist I sleep over every night, but I refused everytime. I don't do to good sleeping with one I open, dontcha know. But, man! Them angry chicks are a firecracker in bed. It was worth it.
She used to insist I sleep over every night, but I refused everytime. I don't do to good sleeping with one I open, dontcha know. But, man! Them angry chicks are a firecracker in bed. It was worth it.
Pila, I hope you don't think I'm too forward, but after reading your last few posts, I just remind you that I'm an attorney and if like you need any legal help, use my private e-mail.
BTW, I have a buddy who is a mortician, and it sounds like you could be needing him some day, too. Sooner than you want, if the chicks go really psycho! (Of course paying him won't be YOUR problem!)
Oldplayer
BTW, I have a buddy who is a mortician, and it sounds like you could be needing him some day, too. Sooner than you want, if the chicks go really psycho! (Of course paying him won't be YOUR problem!)Oldplayer
Joined
·
32,859 Posts
Hey! Appreciate the offer, but that little number was in another life time. I've since been married (9 years) to an extremely beautiful and level headed Portuguese girl. Sh*t! We've even managed to procreate!
Them days of dating crazy skirt are wayyy over, man!
Them days of dating crazy skirt are wayyy over, man!
Lorena Bobbit, of weenie slicing-off fame, was Ecuadorean. You know she drove down the road and chucked it out the car window after she did the butchering, and some cop or fireman or someone found it during the search and took it to the hospital. Rough. Best not to anger Latin women.
I had a Japanese girlfriend once who afforded me an All-American moment. After cooking and serving dinner she led me to a comfortable chair in front of the TV and turned on an O's against Yankees game. She brought me a can of Bud, not my favorite at all, but fitting for the All-American angle. She did the dishes and then returned to kneel at my feet solicitously as I watched the game. She commenced to do something really, really nice to me, our relative positions facilitating the situation. As things progressed, I noted that Iron Man, Hometown Maryland Boy, Hall of Famer Cal Ripken was at the plate. I took a long pull on the Bud. That was a good day. Beer, baseball, and a ......
Sayonara.
I had a Japanese girlfriend once who afforded me an All-American moment. After cooking and serving dinner she led me to a comfortable chair in front of the TV and turned on an O's against Yankees game. She brought me a can of Bud, not my favorite at all, but fitting for the All-American angle. She did the dishes and then returned to kneel at my feet solicitously as I watched the game. She commenced to do something really, really nice to me, our relative positions facilitating the situation. As things progressed, I noted that Iron Man, Hometown Maryland Boy, Hall of Famer Cal Ripken was at the plate. I took a long pull on the Bud. That was a good day. Beer, baseball, and a ......
Sayonara.
Joined
·
32,859 Posts
You should have married her, freddie.
In my early twenties, I got a job working as a reservations agent for TAP Air Portugal in Newark. On my first day I had the good fortune of training with this Nymph (and I understate the term), my time there had barely hit the 30 minute mark when she begun dropping her pen and opening her legs as I reached for it in her cubicle. I couldn't believe my luck. And I had no idea how far she was willing to go: the next two years proceeded with countless fascinating trips in the elevator, after-hour parking lot encounters, random hallway nut-grabbing, finger sniffing and infinite dirty talk that would peel the pink out of a favored sex toy. And, she liked girls too.
And she was married.
Last I heard, she moved on to the Portuguese Tourist office in NY where I'm told the office population seem overly relaxed and always serve with a wicked smile.
And, she's still married.
In my early twenties, I got a job working as a reservations agent for TAP Air Portugal in Newark. On my first day I had the good fortune of training with this Nymph (and I understate the term), my time there had barely hit the 30 minute mark when she begun dropping her pen and opening her legs as I reached for it in her cubicle. I couldn't believe my luck. And I had no idea how far she was willing to go: the next two years proceeded with countless fascinating trips in the elevator, after-hour parking lot encounters, random hallway nut-grabbing, finger sniffing and infinite dirty talk that would peel the pink out of a favored sex toy. And, she liked girls too.
And she was married.
Last I heard, she moved on to the Portuguese Tourist office in NY where I'm told the office population seem overly relaxed and always serve with a wicked smile.
And, she's still married.
I'll have to run a lot of old tapes through my head before I can equal that one.
Do have one a Greek guy I know from soccer told me. I was at a sitting at a bar for lunch, at a big rednecky restaurant that has southern rock and country bands on weekends, does big workingman's lunch trade. Eating my sub and reading the sports page while Jerry Springer was on tv's, was mightly distracted by this couple at the corner of the bar who were drinking and being way to affectionate for a busy lunch. Chick was decent with short dress and good body, she started flashing her t!ts and beaver at me when she saw she had my attention. They split and the Greek guy I know was there and I ask him did he see that show. He said same guy had another chick in there months ago who gave same show to him, and being horny dog Greek guy he went right up to the guy when the chick went to the bathroom and asked him what was up with that. Guy says she wants to phuck you in the car now, but that he gets to watch . (This is also high noon lunch hour). Greek dude said he did the deed. Fill in your own moral of the story.
We're all going to he!! Pila. After Jan bans us, that is.
Do have one a Greek guy I know from soccer told me. I was at a sitting at a bar for lunch, at a big rednecky restaurant that has southern rock and country bands on weekends, does big workingman's lunch trade. Eating my sub and reading the sports page while Jerry Springer was on tv's, was mightly distracted by this couple at the corner of the bar who were drinking and being way to affectionate for a busy lunch. Chick was decent with short dress and good body, she started flashing her t!ts and beaver at me when she saw she had my attention. They split and the Greek guy I know was there and I ask him did he see that show. He said same guy had another chick in there months ago who gave same show to him, and being horny dog Greek guy he went right up to the guy when the chick went to the bathroom and asked him what was up with that. Guy says she wants to phuck you in the car now, but that he gets to watch . (This is also high noon lunch hour). Greek dude said he did the deed. Fill in your own moral of the story.
We're all going to he!! Pila. After Jan bans us, that is.
Joined
·
32,859 Posts
We'll be in good company, freddie, as long as them nymphs are there as well.
Got a high school story. I think I was a Sophomore where there was this hot little Puerto Rican number with an impeccable body, though the face was a little busted and she had that all so annoying Rosie Perez accent. Still, the body more than made the rest tolerable.
Anyways, we sat way back of the classroom. I'm sure I don't have to tell yiz guys how boring Algebra is. Well, she decided to pass her time by spending the entire 43 minutes flashing her boobies and her squirrel covers. She used to wear this loose tank top with no bra. Incredible boobies. She would never let me touch her or accept my invitations to cut class and continue our game in private, however. 43 Minutes of pure unadulterated torture, but I loved it! Provided over a decade of wack-off material.
Got a high school story. I think I was a Sophomore where there was this hot little Puerto Rican number with an impeccable body, though the face was a little busted and she had that all so annoying Rosie Perez accent. Still, the body more than made the rest tolerable.
Anyways, we sat way back of the classroom. I'm sure I don't have to tell yiz guys how boring Algebra is. Well, she decided to pass her time by spending the entire 43 minutes flashing her boobies and her squirrel covers. She used to wear this loose tank top with no bra. Incredible boobies. She would never let me touch her or accept my invitations to cut class and continue our game in private, however. 43 Minutes of pure unadulterated torture, but I loved it! Provided over a decade of wack-off material.
Joined
·
1,429 Posts
Wow, that's quite a story Pila. There were many a girl I sat near in high school who I fervently wished had behaved like your classmate. I exerted all my psychic powers toward influencing them, but, alas, nothing. :depress:
Joined
·
32,859 Posts
A 16 year old doesn't need a whole lot of encouragement to deflect the body's blood flow in the wrong direction. I'm surprised my brain didn't go into a coma from blood and oxygen deprivation.Herndonite said:
I think she just got a kick at watching me squirm and hump the desk leg.
.... that is the favorite sport of women young and old. Guys are so horny all the time, it is a no-lose proposition. In fact, that guys are so horny is the basis for my theory on why gay guys tend to be so promiscuous. So you are a straight guy (ummm, we're all straight here right), you go into a bar, you see a chick you like, you start working all the angles because you know most women will make you chat, buy her a drink, then you get a number, go for coffee, then dinner, then you might get laid. Now the gay guy goes into the gay bar, sees a guy he likes, he goes up and says, "hey, you wanna phuck?", and the other guy, because even though he is gay he is still a guy, thinks for about 3 seconds and says, "yeah, you're damn right I want to phuck, lets go!".
Joined
·
32,859 Posts
That's proven scientific fact, freddie. I envy the gay lifestyle - wish I could get over the fact that we men are so f*cking ugly. I'd be gay in a snap if I could get over our fugliness. I'm weirding myself out...Freddie said:
Hey, how 'bout them Mets?
Would save a lot of money, but then you'd have a c*ck up your ass. I'll buy the coffee and dinner, thanks. But you aren't weirding yourself out man, you're just really sayin' you love them chickie babies. Just think of 'em man.... all curvy and soft, with them breasasess and round double handful behinds.
But, by diverting the conversation to The Amazin' Mets, you have obliquely mentioned Mike "I'm not gay, no, really I'm tellin' ya, I'm not gay, OK?" Piazza.
But, by diverting the conversation to The Amazin' Mets, you have obliquely mentioned Mike "I'm not gay, no, really I'm tellin' ya, I'm not gay, OK?" Piazza.
41 - 60 of 80 Posts
