Xtratime Community banner

1 - 14 of 14 Posts

17,146 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
This is a thread about jokes on other teams and obviously, the first team who has the honour to start this, can be no other team than our dear Cugini of Inter. :):D Most of these jokes come from the amazing site, perdenti.com a site in honour of the Cuginastri. I've translated some of the best part of this fabulous site for your delight and laugh. Read it once and you'll laugh like crazy. Read it everyday and you'll feel almost high, with the feeling that THIS made your day. An important note: this is not to bash anyteam, let alone the poor Inter and their fans, but simply to have a good laugh here. I'll keep updating this thread on a consistant basis.

P.S. I don't know if asking the mods to make this a sticky would be too much asking since we just had an almost "revolution" :D to have the anecdote thread being put back as a sticky. However, I feel the info contained in this thread is one also really worthy to be a sticky...:)

Ok, enough blablabing, let us get started.:):tongue:

Open letter from an Interista to a Milanisa

Dear Milanista,
During the last year, we Interisti, have tried to win something for 365 times. We only managed to achieve that during the summer tournaments. Here's the list of the reasons as to why we didn't win more often:
1) Ronaldo was missing.
2) It was the ref's fault.
3) Tired and fatigued for playing on wednesdays (we are not used to that).
4) It's the coach's fault.
5) Blatant lack of luck.
6) We were not given a penalty.
7) Even worst, when were given a penalty, we missed them.
8) Too many foreigners.
9) We need a forward.
10) Why the hell did we take Hakan Sukur for?
11) Vieri was missing.
12) Even worst, when Vieri was there, his mind was on his girlfriend rather than on the field.
13) I don't want to miss Big Brother on TV on wednesday nights.
14) On Tuesday nights, there's the show Chi l'hai visto? Who saw it? (the Scudetto?)...:D
15) This is all a conspiracy to make Juve win.
On the rare times we did win something, the victory wasn't as enjoyable as it could have been for the following reasons:
We risked to lose against the newly promoted teams.
We won thanks to an own goal.
We won but we had 3 of our players injured.
We won only at the penalty kicks.

Inferiorly yours,
Your cousin Merdazzuro.

Here's the answer of his Rossonero cousin:

My dear little cousin,
It seems you have your ideas quite confused. Here are the real and true reasons for which you have not obtained what you had wished for more often.
1) To satisfy the sponsors, you have made Ronaldo injured.
2) It is not the fault of the referee if you can't shot on the net
3) You didn't train during the summer, to be able to play during the week, you never know...
4) Not even Jesus would be able to accomplish the miracle of resuscitating dead players like Inter's players.
5) Inter is among those who create their own misfortune during the calciomercato.
6) The penalty kicks, even when you do get them, you miss them!
7) Too many pseudo-champions bought at exorbitant prices...too often.
8) More than a forward, you need a miracle! (but for this, see # 4).
9) The Turk you bought him just because he played against Milan.
10)When you purchased Vieri, didn't you understand that the other teams had over-used him?
11) Where Velina don't come, Vampeta arrives.
12) You don't have a VCR to tape the TV shows of wednesdays.
13) You don't have a VCR to tape the TV shows of tuesdays.
14) ...Hire Lucky Luciano Moggi!
On the rare occasions in which you did win something, the victory wasn't that enjoyable for the following reasons:
The newly promoted team let you win out of pity...and if you didn't score by yourself, they helped you with an own goal.
In order to win the games against the newly promoted teams, you had to prepare yourself with the same intensity and manners in which one prepares a CL final (even if you guys have no first hand experience of that)!
You won in the penalty kicks simply because the amateurs that you played against missed more than you.

Rossonerily yours.
Milanista for ever Winner.

17,146 Posts
Discussion Starter #2
Dear Santa Claus,
Mi name is Massimo and my profession is president of Inter. Before all, I want you to know that I believe in you as firmly as the Interisti believe that Inter is a great team. I believe in you blindly.

I am writting you this letter, because, even me, I'd like to receive a few gifts.
I beg you to satisfy my wishes as I have been very nice the whole year and I have been doing some great actions. Here's the list of the good actions I've done this year:
1) I have maintained in luxury and wealth at least 30 people without asking anything back from them.
2) During the summer, I have offered some truly joyous and festive moments to the fans of my team by purchasing new players by the truckload, most of them being foreigners.
3) Still during the summer, I have offered some truly joyous and hilarious moments to our Rossoneri cousins by being thrown out of the CL in August, before the CL even started!!!
4) I have helped a Swedish team to experience the thrills of the CL.
5) I have helped a lot of teams both in Italy and in Europe, by contributing more than generously to balancing their books and filling their bank account with my big offers for their overrated players that are not even good enough to work at a gas station.
6) I have offered to my team some prestigious trophies such as the Birra Moretti Cup and the Tim Cup.
7) I have helped the Gay cause by recruiting one of their idols, Vampeta.
8) I have upgraded the shower system of the Appiano Gentile area with automatic distributors of shampoo and soap as no one wanted to use the regular soap anymore. In virtue of all these good actions, I promise you that I will be also accomplishing a lot more good actions before the end of the season, I am requesting you to:
- To make me win the Scudetto at least once (or if this too hard to ask you, at the very least, to make me win the Viareggio Tournament) ( the Viareggio tournament is the biggest club youth tournament in the world).
- To make me participate at least once in the CL (perhaps even qualifying through the Intertoto Cup).
- To make me win at least one cup (I would even be delighted for la Coppa Italia, or if this is impossible, at least the one put in competition by the local charities during the Christmas Lottery would also do it for me).
- To make me enjoy at least once, the purchase of a player.

I am aware I might be asking you too much, dear Santa Claus, if you can't realize all my requests, I would be happy with an almanach of all the coaches (including the amateur coaches) in order to be able to chose the successors of the current coach.

I thank you in advance from the bottom of my heart for your comprehension and cooperation, dear Santa Claus.

Faithfully yours.

Massimo Moratti.

17,146 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Intensive studies by scientists on the topic of champions (eventough it is a bit exagerrated when using such words for this specie) Interisti and children. The studies have revealed several interesting similarities between children and the Interisti:
The Interisti believe that this will finally be the good year. The children believe in Santa Claus.
The Interisti are awaiting and expecting the return of Ronaldo and the children the return of Santa Claus.
The Interisti ask their president to buy them new players and the kids ask Santa Claus to bring them new toys.
A few days after their purchase, both the players and the toys are no good and to be thrown away.
At the end of the season, the Interisti if they haven't won anything can always rely on the summer tournaments to make up for that; the kids, if they haven't received what they had asked from Santa Claus, can always rely on the Beffana.
Both the Interisti and the kids come back from a trip to the Scandinavian countries very dissapointed: the first ones as they don't see the CL and the second ones as they haven't seen Santa Claus.
Both the kids and the Interisti do not like vegetables. They throw it in the garbage.
The only difference that there is between a kid and the Interista, is that as years go by, the kid grows into a mature man whereas the Interista, as years go by, will always be the same: a PERDENTI or a LOSER!:D :howler: :dielaugh: :D :tongue:


17,146 Posts
Discussion Starter #4

Here's the letter of a Milanista, being opposed at the candidature of Moratti as the Mayor of Milano.

Dear President Moratti,
The person writing this letter to you is a Milan fan, who's extremely worried about the latest rumours about your running to becoming Mayor of Milano. I am beginning not to do that, please do not leave us like that. Who will buy us all those mega champions, paying 4 or 5 times their true value? Who will forgive the Inter players for going to night clubs the day before a game?Who will protest vehemently against the system, except when the decisions are in favour of Inter? Who will write the scripts of the lectures and discourses of Oriali who has nothing to say on his own?
You know it perfectly, dear President Moratti, that in Milano, the Right Centre would win the elections even if they present for their candidates Mago Casanova o Maurizio Paradiso. I am begging and praying you to stay a Perdente (Loser) only in the world of football. Politics are a merciless world, look at how Berlusconi is struggling.
We would remain orphans of never realized dreams of Inter and Interisti; we would remain orphans of those eternal whinners and cry-babies that are the Inter fans; of the polemics, of those double-meaning half sentences that tell everything and above all NOTHING.
How about the Inter tifosi? Who will be there to give them hope of illusion? Who will make them win the Scudetto of August? And how about the other teams? How will Milan manage to have them handed as gifts, players at zero cost? Who will pay the deficit and help the other teams of around the world to balance their books? And how about the Journalists? Who will they be congratulating between June and September and then, criticize come October? And how about the experts of calciomercato? I can already see them going crazy like zombies following any Brncic like player.
No, you certainly cannot and must not do that.
The world of football needs people like You. Please stay with us.
In this life with scarce of satisfaction, you want to take away from us, our last reason to smile and laugh?
We don't mind paying 2200 lire per litre of gas, we call that, "Entertainment Tax" :D, we will gladly pay it, in order for you guys to continue to make us laugh.
Please do not leave us alone, and should you really go, at least make Ernesto Pellegrini come back!!!!


:D :D :D :howler: :dielaugh: :tongue:

513 Posts
Adding a few well-known ones:

Question: "What do you call a good-looking woman in Torino?"
Answer: "A tourist" :tongue:

Question: "What do u call an Interista with half a brain?
Answer: "Gifted" :D

Question: "What is the difference between a Manchester United Fan and a trampoline?"
Answer: "You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!" :tongue:

Question: "What do you say to a Newcastle fan with a good looking girl on his arm?"
Answer: "Nice tattoo"

A Arsenal fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Arsenal
jumper. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St Peter in a Gooner scarf.
"Hello, mate," says St Peter, "I'm sorry, no Arsenal fans in heaven."
"What?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard. No Arsenal fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man," replies the Arsenal supporter.
"Oh, really?" says St Peter. "What have you done then?"
"Well," says the guy, "three weeks before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the
starving children in Africa."
"Oh," says St Peter. "Anything else?"
"Well, two weeks before I died, I also gave 20 bucks to the homeless.
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the Albanian orphans.
"Okay," says St Peter, "you wait here a minute while I have a word with
the governor."
Ten minutes pass before St Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye
and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your
sixty bucks back, now piss off." :D

The names are variable, so no need to get offended ;)

5,073 Posts
Nice ones Payman and Artur. :howler: :howler:

But no more stickies please. This has nothing to do with Milan.

17,146 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
One of my all time fav jokes about Inter!:D :D: D :howler: :dielaugh:

Definition of a Masters programme for Interisti.

Masters programme on the cerebral functions of the Interista of the New Millenium.
Objetives of the Masters:
Teach the Interista the fascinating experience that is the usage of one's brain.
Being of the Merdazzurra faith.
New Inter fan: 30 days per module. Longer Inter fans: 60 days per module. Die-hard Inter fans: For life.

Module 1: How To Use Your Brain.
Accepting your destiny: You were born Interista, thus Inferior.
Knowing your natural shelter/habitat: The right or bottom part of the standings.
Overcoming the Ronaldo dependency: Getting used to the fact that he will NOT return.
Learning to organise away from home games support: Practical exercices.
Learning to buy a great player for less than 90 billion Lire each. Basic notions.
Learning to limit the humiliation.
The usage of crying and abusive language as excuses to cover each failure.
Basic programming: You and the road to the Champions League.
Advanced programming: You and how to remain in the Champions League.

Module 2: Playing for Inter.
The left and top part of the standings: This inexplorated and unknown territory.
What happens when you enter in the field: Group dynamics.

Escaping in a cab: Basic notions.
1st part: The Radio Taxi exists and works well.
2nd part: How many cabs to call.
3rd part: Being able to pass through the tifosi incognito and without being attacked by the fans.
Parking the car with its head in front and avoiding acts of vandalism.

Remaining in the Serie A: A challenge that could be won.
Passports and Identity Cards: the fantastic world of mystery.
Changing coach: the 1000 reasons.

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Intercontinentale Cup but you never dared to ask.
Japan: This inexplorated world.
Usage of the condom during the high class parties: theory and practical aspects of it.
Games of color: which colour to chose? black or white?
Advanced Geometry: where a 90C angle is not a square angle.

Survival I: Where's the neareast Taxi stop from the San Siro stadium located?
Survival II: Extra-communitary: thid can be done: practical excercices.
Survival III: Prostitutes: where to go and how much to spend.

Module 3: "Vita da Perdenti" (LIfe of a Loser).
Concepts of Limits I : Understanding and realizing that no matter how high you are, or go, you will never ever be at the same level as of a Milanista.
Concepts of Limits II: Understanding and realizing that no matter what you do, say or achieve, O, SIAMO NOI!

Language I: Definizione of the word :"Inferior".
Dinamics of group: 20 practical exercises for the the question: "Is this finally the good year?".
Language II: Defining the concept of the "good year".

Civical Education and Morale I : the stress and the incapacity of your players are only YOUR problem; not the problem of the refs' or the journalists'.
Civical Education and Morale II: Referees, crying and dignity.
Civical Education and Morale III: When the silence is golden: learning not to interupt or intervene during the discussions of the fans of other teams when they are talking about the Scudetto or the Champions League.
Civical Education and Morale IV: Avoiding childish and non-sense songs like :
"Serie B!" or "They're all against us" ("Ce l'hanno tutti con noi!" or "It's a conspiracy" ("E una congiura").
Sincerity I : Eliminating half the truth.
Sincerity II: Learning to say what one truly thinks.
Days of Shopping I : the salaries of the players and the concept of vision.
Days of Shopping II: Making sure not getting ripped off. Practical exemples.
A Critical Day: Monday mornings: 350 commented exemples on how to avoid all those who will recognize you.

Module 4: Opening Your Eyes Reality.
Usage of the coach: When to sack him.
The concept of the relation between Time and Victories
Never going to the San Siro when Inter is playing: the first step towards cerebral desintoxication.
Advanced course: The summer is not the only time of the year to live.
What happens to your body? You and the law of gravity. Why you're head is always down.
Accepting yourself: the pictures of Vampeta even when they are not retouched.

Do not waste any time, reserve your seat as numbers are limited!!So hurry up!!!

PS: The Merdazzuri that will feel offended by the content of this Masters' programme should register as soon as possible at the special course entitled "Urgent Cases".

513 Posts
Adding some well-known, but good ones: :D

Question: "Why did British postal office recalled last edition of Stamps?"
Answer: "Because it had pictures of Man United players on it and the customers didn't know which side to spit on." :D:D

Question: "What is the difference between Arsenal & a Cup of tea?
Answer: "Tea stays in the cup longer." :tongue: :howler:

Question: "What is the difference between Alex Ferguson & God?"
Answer: "God doesn't think he is Alex Ferguson." :howler:

Ciao :D:D

513 Posts
Well, this one shows how uneducated some Interisti are :D:D:D:D:D

Originally posted by fouler_9:

wats the big fuss ?
why dun we just recall mutu back frm verona?
Have fun :D;):tongue::star:

:star: FORZA GRANDE MILAN!!!!!!! :star:


17,146 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
Here's some more to add to this memorable thread. Enjoy!:):howler: :D

While walking down a street, Jesus meets a man, on his knees crying. "Why are you crying?" Jesus asks him. "Well, my wife left me and I am now all alone." Jesus tell him: "Stand up and go, these things can happen." A little bit later, Jesus meets an another man on his kneews and crying. "Why are you crying?" Jesus asks him. "Well, my doctor told me I only have a few days left to live." "Stand up and go, everyone has to die sooner or later." And a little bit later, still walking down the road, Jesus meets a third man, on his knees and crying:" Why are you crying?" Jesus asks him. "Well, I'm an Inter fan" answers the man. Jesus looks at him for a moment and then, bends on his knees and start crying with him....

A thief, who also happens to be a Milan fan, meets another thief. This one says:" Last night, I went into the house of Maldini and took everything: cups, trophies, medals etc..." The Milan fan-thief asks him shocked: "Are you crazy? Why Maldini?" "Well, I went first to Bergomi's house, but there was nothing there..."

Moratti is covering the pitch of San Siro with newspapers articles. It seems that Inter are strong in paper.

A journalist is interviewing Moratti and Moggi. "President Moratti, what are the ambitions of Inter for this year?" the journalist asks. "Well, mainly avoid relegation to Serie B." Answers Moratti after having thought for a moment.

"How about you Moggi?" asks the journalist. "Well, winning the Scudetto, Coppa Italia,Champions League and next year the Intercontinental Cup." Answers Moggi right away.

"Don't you think you're a little bit too ambitious here Moggi?" Asks the journalist.

"Maybe, but Moratti started it." Replies Moggi laughingly.

There's a rumour going on that due to health problems, Ronaldo has joined an anonymous alcoholic association. However, this is not true since Ronaldo is not anonymous!

It is believed that the Inter training grounds are the cleanest in Italy. No wonder, it's full of bidoni. (bidoni here means garbage container referring to the quality of Inter's players).

The nick-names of Ronaldo:

by theme: -infortunio (injured)-








-alcool (alcohol)-

Alcoolizzaldo :D

Ronalcool :D



Dopaldo :D

Drogaldo :D

Anabolizzaldo :D

1,514 Posts
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "INTER ARE FINALLY GOING TO WIN LO SCUDETTO!!." Snow White says "Well, at least Dopey's alive!"

1,514 Posts
how can you tell E.T. is an inter fan?

he looks like one !! :tongue:
1 - 14 of 14 Posts