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Believe it or not, "get over it" is a phrase I hear quite a lot from girls ;). So, I was wondering how to go about letting go of a person you have special feelings for, whether its at the end of a relationship, when your in a relationship with someone else, or the relationship just never began (i.e. "just" a crush).

I won't bore you all with my story, but basically what I'd like advice on is how do you come to terms with accepting that a person you have feelings for doesn't want you or that it can't work out?

Hope that made sense...;)
 

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There's nothing you can do (or should do for that matter) other than letting father time do his work. It will pass...not a soul in the world that hasn't gone through it.
 

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What fangul said. A crush is usually easier to get over than someone you've had a relationship with, but there's really nothing you can do about it I'm afraid. :) But someday another girl will come along, hold your attention and you'll be wondering why on earth you spent so much time moping over the previous one. Though when you're in the midst of that misery it seems as though it were neverending, but moving on is what most people eventually do, some take a longer time than others. One thing I've realised is that feelings are more malleable than we think.

Though for me, I usually throw away the things that remind me of the person. Best not to think so much about discarding them - just go ahead and do it. You'll usually feel a bit better afterwards, and even if you start to regret dumping the stuff it'll be too late... it's kinda like forcing yourself to get over it. It may be a bit drastic to some, but it works for me and I don't like to linger over things. :) Well admittedly I'm not that blase or sanguine, it's just that I'm a poor student who's always on the move and I can't afford to carry so much possessions around with me. :D So I've learnt how to filter things out of my life, both physical and emotional. If I really, really like that person sooooo much then I'll write the feelings down into my diary, discharge everything into writing and then hopefully move on.

One thing though - some people, even after breaking up, think they need a sense of "closure" or end on the best of terms, and will approach the other person to have a talk. :undecide: My advice is, don't do it. :) When two people end a relationship or when you want to get over a girl/boy, there is no such thing as complete closure. There'll always be frays around the edges which we must learn how to tie up for ourselves. Most of the time, "wanting a proper closure" is just an excuse to see that person again or relive some of the interaction and contact that you had... and it's better just to get over it instead of prolonging your misery.
 

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Ok find a **** and bang her as soon as possible, after that rent a lot of porn movies, but you must have "get over sex" with a girl you dont care for , before watching the porns.

After that become a workaholic, get very producitive, and dont think much about girls after all life is not all about love or relationships there are many great stuff outside Love.

If the girl was mean to you try humping her best friend or a young cousin of hers, but be carefull if you are in the usa 15 gets you 20.
 

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If its a crush, and you have not looked into the possibility of a relationship there, then there is nothing to get over, there was nothing there in the first place.


Yes, you have feelings for that person, you might like the way they act, their smile, or the way they talk, but to get to the stage of getting over something, you would have to have put the effort in to trying to make it work.

So I will ago ahead assuming that this person you are trying to get over is someone who you want to have a relationship with, but they have not shown interest, or have come out and said no.

Or, it it someone who you have had a relationship with, but now you need help getting over it.

For me it sounds more like the first few few options, and not the last.

So if its just a crush, and you are just thinking that it cant happen, even though you have not looked into it, stop, try to make it work, give your best, and then if there is nothing there, you will get over it, its a stage.

If its someone who you like, but they have said no, its unfortunate, but there just has to be a spark there, there has to be a physical attraction usually for anything else to happen in any serious relationship.

You have to understand though, that it doesn't mean that you aren't good looking, or that you aren't a good persion, or that you are missing something personality wise, it just means that there is no connection, or a real spark for something more to happen.

There is going to be that someone who you will have a connection with. And when you get that, it will feel special.

Most importantly though, you have to believe in destiny.

I know what it is to feel a crush on someone, or to feel in love.

You just feel so much better with that person around, you enjoy their company.
You could sit there all day and just watch them without saying anything.
You feel like you know exactly what they are thinking, and you have a feeling they know what you are thinking also.
You think about them all day, first thing when you wake up and the last thing before you go to sleep.
You feel this emptiness inside you, like your life is not full without them, and it will never be if you dont have them.
You just feel this amazing sense of happiness just thinking about them.

You have to realize we all have these feelings, so you are not alone.

The second thing you have to realize is, we start having these feelings for a lot of reasons, some of it is blind hope, a lot of it is physical, and a chunk is the way the person acts and so on.

The thing is, the only way that you can say that you truly want to spend your life with someone is when you have known them for awhile, and you know everything about each other, then, when you still like that person, you can say that you truly are in love.

A crush is just that, a lot of it is physical attraction, and yeah you need that for any relationship, but it is impossible to LOVE someone, and want to spend the rest of your life with them when you dont even know them.

Love is also only as strong as the connection between the two people.

Forget about what you are feeling, those are feelings for whatever psychological reasons. The thing you have to deal with it, and realize, is that the other person DOES NOT feel the same way.

Then you can say to yourself, I was WRONG in thinking that we we were perfect for each other, because she said that she doesn't feel anything for me. I know I am wrong because when I thought she was thinking the same thing I was, she wasn't.

You start to realize that it is just you, and when someone doesn't feel the same way, forget about it, its not meant to be.

So dont look into crushes as meaningful, and all this, its physical and its just the hormones in swing, its day dreaming, its hope, etc.

Try to start a relationship with someone, and when you truly like each other after you have told each other everything there is, then you will be in love.

And if its the last thing...

You just have to get over it and realize your relationship didn't work, you aren't as similar as you thought.

lol..this is my longest post for sure. it would have helped if you told us exactly the situation. but anyways.
 

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jack goff said:
Ok find a **** and bang her as soon as possible, after that rent a lot of porn movies, but you must have "get over sex" with a girl you dont care for , before watching the porns.

:howler::howler:

Freacking Hector!!:D Never fails to crack me up!!
And tell me, do you also do what you're preaching this young gun at heart whom started this thread?

A&K, good suggestions!:thumbsup:

Cheers.;)

P.S. Your reply made me ROTFL. :howler: Keep'em coming!:)
 

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ED123,
THANK YOU for your amazing post!:thumbsup:

IMO, That's probably the best and most accurate post about relationships I have ever read in this forum!!!:thumbsup::star:

Tell me, are a psychologist or love advisor?:)

Cheers.;)

P.S. This is the kind of posts we want to see more and the kind of posts this forum needs!!!:star: BRAVO!!!:cool:
 

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Well I need to "get over it" too :embarass:

I am still kinda obsessed with the same lass that I made a thread about a while back :rollani:


Its only a crush though :D
 

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OK here's some advice... go get piss-drunk and hug a toilet bowl... best solution to life's problems and it's cheaper than a psychiatrist. :strong: :boxing: :thumbsup:

Just kidding. :D

Like what Fangul said, there's no real way to get around it (though for girls there's always your girlfriends/ pillows/ chocolate). It's one of those annoying things in life that one has to face head-on himself/herself, but it sure teaches you a lot. :)

ED, great post. :):proud:
 

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mutu my friend,

The following advice only works on certain types of people:

Look at the bright side:

From what i know you, have a relatively comfortable life. Be thankful for what you've got such as the basic things like food and shelter.

Your OK, you have good health, you have others who are there for you and you have friends in this community.

There are others who are much worse off than you. Compare you problems to someone living in Iraq, you'll find a huge difference. In short, get over it.

----------------------------------

Hope that helped
 

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Payman, you got to believe I would do it. It´s a lot worse to sit down and think about it. I rather have cheap dirt sex, which would make me feel so bad to not care that much about breaking up.

After reaching down to the point of emptyness then I would try to justify my actions by watching so good old porn movie, after seing some 20 hours of women degrading themselves doing all sort of acts, it would make me realize that my EX could be just another dirty w-h-o-r-e so actually breaking up was a good thing.

After all that meditation I would buy myself some nice ice cream, this never fails but one has to have some large Ko Jones to do this.
 

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fangul said:
why not just stab yourself in the gut
Another genius suggestion!!!:star:

:howler:

You're too much Fangul...:dielaugh::D

Cheers.;)

P.S. Hector, that's an interesting and original way at looking at things...original to say the least...:stress: :tongue: Gotta admit though that I never thought of it this way...:eek:
 
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