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How did they rate?

Abdel Aziz Al-Khathran, Saudi Arabia

The substitute who came on at half-time takes the alcohol-free champagne for being Least Bad Saudi Arabian man of the match, purely by virtue of the fact that he was the only player to give Oliver Kahn anything that could be even remotely described as an anxious moment. Unfortunately, his 87th minute shot went very, very high and very, very wide. (1/10)

The rest of the Saudi Arabia team

It would be unfair to single out any one player for being more ineffectual than his compatriots in one of the most abject team performances in World Cup finals history. Saudi Arabia were unspeakably awful in every department and judging by this performance, the number of goals they ship against Cameroon and Ireland could well end up deciding who emerges from Group E. (0/10)

Miroslav Klose, Germany

Took advantage of utterly inept Saudi Arabia defending to notch up the first World Cup hat-trick since Argentina's Gabriel Batistuta put three past the Reggae Boyz of Jamaica in France 1998. You can only beat what's put in front of you and Klose did all that could have been expected of him in a turkey shoot such as this. How he'll fare against Ireland and Cameroon is anyone's guess - Ade Akinbiyi would have fancied his chances of scoring in this game. (7/10)

Oliver Kahn, Germany

Will never participate in an easier match than this. Kahn took a couple of goal-kicks, but could have kept a clean sheet without bothering to leave the sanctuary of his bed in the team hotel. Deserves credit for remaining alert in his goal when he could so easily have given in to temptation, stuck his thumb in his mouth and curled up for a snooze in the back of the net. (3/10)

Karsten Jancker, Germany

The imposing striker arrived at the World Cup having endured a torrid season which saw him notch up the less than impressive tally of 0 goals from 18 starts with Bayern Munich. Jancker had what looked like a perfectly good goal disallowed when the score was still 0 - 0, and finally got off the mark to make it 4-0 on the stroke of half-time. Will be glad to have scrambled one in just to prove he hasn't lost his touch, but probably should have got a couple more. (7/10)

Christian Ziege's hair, Germany

The ill-advised black and nicotine-yellow stripe on top of Ziege's head looked consistently ridiculous throughout every second of the 90 minutes. On one fleeting occasion in the second half it threatened to look nondescript at best, but this, it transpired, was simply an optical illusion caused by a trick of the light. Preposterous beyond belief. (-10/10)


This is taken from the Guardian. Nice piece of reading ;)

Xtratime's Head of Humour 2007
63,337 Posts
have some respect Kyo.:(

I've played in pub teams and none of them were as bad as Saudi.We did at least attempt to tackle the opposition and try to stop them from hitting the ball into the penalty area.
I get your point though i half expected the Saudi lads to run out for the second half stubbing their cigarettes out on the pitch.;)
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