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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I love the quesiotns (hey we've all been asked these stupid questions), but what i like more are the responses given by Turks :D


An American asks: 'Do you have electricity in Turkey'
Turk responds: 'no we watch TV in the candlelight'

Arabic is being spoken on TV. An American asks a Turk:
"what's he saying"
Turk: "I have no clue"
American: "But don't you speak Arabic?"
Turk: No we speak Turkish
American: "I see..But they're very similar aren't they?"
Turk: "yes, both languages are spoken through the Mouth"
American: ???
Turk: Ziterenkoy

Italian Tourist: "Can we walk around Istanbul in a Bikini?"
Turkish Guide: "do You walk around Rome in Bikinis?"
Italian: "No but isn't stanbul a touristic place with beaches and seas?"
Turk: " Yeah sure whatever. Walk around ina Bikini and make a fool of yourself, what do I care"

A bar in Dublin, Ireland.
A drunk Irish: "How many wives do you have"
Drunk Turk: "None"
Drunk Irish:"Why, You're Turkish.Aren't you supposed to have 4 wives?"
Drunk Turk: "Yeah, let's start with your mother"

After the world cup in Spain.
Spaniard: Where are you from?
Turk: Turkey
Spaniard: you guys have a football player named Hakan Sukur, he is very good
Turk: Hadi canim ordan!

Place: Brazil
Brazillian: Do they cut off the hands of thieves in Turkey
Turk: No, we have laws. The case gets tried ina court and the thief gets sentenced accordingly
Brazillian: too bad, I think they should cut off their hands...
Turk: ???

Italian: "What's your profession"
Turk: "I'm a gynecologist
Italian:"Aren't things like that prohibited in Turkey?"
Turk: "yah, only Urology is permitted, everything else is banned"

European: "Do you like it here?
Turk: "not really, I prefer Turkiye
European: "then what are you doing here?"
Turk: "I'm just here to visit, on a touristic vacation"
European: "maybe you can apply as a refugee?"
Turk: "Why?"
european: "Because things aren't good in Turkey, they're better here"
Turk: I don't want to apply, I like living in Turkiye
European: "really?"
Turk: "Yes..really?"
European: "But wouldn't you be happier here?"
Turk: "Not if I have to deal with idiots like you all the time"

Conversations between an atheist Turk and an American

American: "would you like some wine?:
Turk: "No thank you"
American: "It's because you're not permitted alcohol in your religion right?"
Turk: My religion? What religion?"
Amrican: "Islam"
Turk: "I'm not muslim.."
American: "then why aren't you drinking?"
Turk: "I can't stand wine"

Typical question:
Do You have Camels in turkey?
Response: Yes, my father is going to buy me a Camel when I turn 18, but first i need to go to a Camel Course and get my Camel License"

"Do you have a Parliament in Turkey"
Answer: "No we have a council of elders"

Italian: Yo're spanish right?
Turkish girl: "no I'm turkish"
Italian: What? really?
Turkish girl: 'why are you surprised?"
Italian: "Because you are beautiful"
Turkish girl (upset over the remark): 'And you look like shit, are you Italian?"

A conversation in the US between a Turkish PHD student and an Italian one:
Turki: "It took me one month to find an apartment for rent"
Italian: "Why is it because you are muslim"
Turk: "what do you mean?"
Italian: "they dont rent homes to Muslims"
Turk: "why?"
Italian: "you know"
Turk: "no, I don't?"
Italian: "Bombs...Muslims explode bombs"
Turk: Are you catholic?"
Italian: "yes"
Turk: "have you ever been innvolved in a Crusade?"
Italian: ???

A female Turkish Graduate student is asked by a Canadian colleague:
"Are women allowed to go to school in Turkey?"
Turkish student: "No, I'm the first female university graduate in Turkish history..."
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