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Mourinho & Cassano!!
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ANSA

Milan, Italy- The city of Milan was rocked in controversy last night as Adriano Galliani revealed to the press that Milan had made its targeted signing of the summer transfer season. Called Jar-Jar Binks, it had been the target of a massive pre-summer bidding war. Jar-Jar Binks played football in the native space galaxy of M19 and had a huge career with his team there. It was only a matter of time before he made the move to Serie A football.

The new player will have the number 3, taking over Maldini's number, and will play in the position of Forward for the time being. Jar-Jar Binks was the prize of this summer's transfer market and it showed as Chelsea immediately laid down a 2 billion euro bid on the table for its services. It was later rejected because Jar-Jar "[didn't] want to play under a coach who was as immature as he was". After the initial Chelsea bid, Manchester United came in with a 100 million euro offer. Unfortunately, Sir Alex cut the deal short as he refused to take on a player who "he has never seen play except in a telescope".

The focus then shifted to giants Real Madrid and AC Milan. Day after day, Milan vice-president Adriano Galliani denied reports to our ANSA offices in Rome that Milan were interested in the player. On the other hand, Presidente Florentino Perez of Real Madrid promised his club's supporters the one thing that they have been missing these past few years of non-success. The club's fans, expecting a defensive/holding midfielder, were shocked when Florentino announced that the target of their venture was a forward by the name of Jar-Jar Binks.

Fearing increased competition, Ronaldo jumped into the Mediterranean Sea and Michael Owen checked into the hospital. David Beckham also fled the country until he realized that it wasn't his position, he was a model. The Spanish Sports Daily "Marca", otherwise known as "Sports Paper that Covers What We Believe to be the Only Two Teams in Spain, Barca and Madrid", lashed out at Perez's thinking in a front page titled "Idiotas". Perez immediately resigned to go take over Chelsea's front office after the entire management were suspended on grounds of making illegal contact with the agent of Ivan de La Pena, bald-headed player of La Liga. That ended Real's interest in the player.

That left Milan all to itself for the services of Jar-Jar Binks, but at the last second President Massimo Moratti and Puppet Giacinto Facchetti of Inter decided to make a bid for the player. Following their logic of past seasons, they offered to pay 100 trillion euros or to take him on for free on a loan or free transfer. However, the main clause of their offer was that Jar-Jar was not welcome to actually play, since Moratti claimed that "it was our intent to only make money off marketing the player, knowing full well that if he did come to our team to play, he would flop and I woudl be forced to sell him off for a loss". The Italian Sports Daily Gazzetta del Sport claimed that "Inter's madness has reached unprecedented levels" while Milan fans were laughing so hard that they had to go to the San Siro on a non-game day just to set up their Curva and put up a banner of "Interista Diventi Pazzo". At the last second, after such intense media pressure, Moratti decided that Jar-Jar was not the player he was looking for and opted for a 20 million euro plus Adriano swap deal with Milan for Dhorasso.

That left Milan as the only players in the game and while Galliani was busy denying the latest rumors, Berlusconi was finishing the final touches on a 300 million euro purchase of Jar-Jar Binks. The city of Milan was rocked as Galliani cut off in mid-sentence to go from denying the rumor to talking about what number the new player would wear upon arrival to the team.

Jar-Jar showed up this morning for a Milan photo-op and the city of Milan awaits as he prepares for his first competitive action against PSV in mid-week.

 

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I thought I was high enough to laught with pretty much anything right now, but this is just... sad.
 

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thank god juve won't make an offer for this guy because he doesn't fit with their line up:

Squadra Gobbi Di Juve:

---------------------Buff****on----------------
Zebrina---ThuRammed--Crappavaro---ZambRotten
-------Linesman #1------EmerSonOfA
----------------------Referee--------------------
SCUMronesi-----Dop Piero--------NeDived
------SlutAn------------TresGay------Linesman #2

all right reserved hamed 2005
 

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Mourinho & Cassano!!
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
AMOROSO! said:
I thought I was high enough to laught with pretty much anything right now, but this is just... sad.
Thanks bro, appreciate it. And take care of that west-side grass for me, :tongue:
 

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2T, i cracked up when i saw that, great stuff.

As for Amoroso, who the hell are u?
 

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Mourinho & Cassano!!
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
vlepnat said:
2T, i cracked up when i saw that, great stuff.

As for Amoroso, who the hell are u?
I'll answer that for him:

A pot smoker.
 

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2T said:
thank god juve won't make an offer for this guy because he doesn't fit with their line up:

Squadra Gobbi Di Juve:

---------------------Buff****on----------------
Zebrina---ThuRammed--Crappavaro---ZambRotten
-------Linesman #1------EmerSonOfA
----------------------Referee--------------------
SCUMronesi-----Dop Piero--------NeDived
------SlutAn------------TresGay------Linesman #2

all right reserved hamed 2005
best post ever
this is def signature quality
 

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2T said:
thank god juve won't make an offer for this guy because he doesn't fit with their line up:

Squadra Gobbi Di Juve:

---------------------Buff****on----------------
Zebrina---ThuRammed--Crappavaro---ZambRotten
-------Linesman #1------EmerSonOfA
----------------------Referee--------------------
SCUMronesi-----Dop Piero--------NeDived
------SlutAn------------TresGay------Linesman #2

all right reserved hamed 2005
u forgot the members of the italian FA
 

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I actually laughed :tongue: ,Nice work Puls some good comedy is what you need. :thumbsup:
 

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2T said:
thank god juve won't make an offer for this guy because he doesn't fit with their line up:

Squadra Gobbi Di Juve:

---------------------Buff****on----------------
Zebrina---ThuRammed--Crappavaro---ZambRotten
-------Linesman #1------EmerSonOfA
----------------------Referee--------------------
SCUMronesi-----Dop Piero--------NeDived
------SlutAn------------TresGay------Linesman #2

all right reserved hamed 2005
FAntastic
 

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"I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor."
 

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Pulsar36 said:
Jar-Jar showed up this morning for a Milan photo-op and the city of Milan awaits as he prepares for his first competitive action against PSV in mid-week.

You are misinformed Pulsy, the player on the picture is not Jar Jar, its [email protected]#&!#@$%&)[email protected]** (pronounced "Puuulzaar" ;)) from the Adromeda constellation.

It will likely parter with Materazzi as Inter CB next season, as Moratti and Mancini are looking for someone "out of this world" to solve Inters defensive problems. Adriano is rumoured to be involved in the customary Inter<Milan swap deal :proud:
 

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The sad thing actually is that he could really help Inter. :pp
 

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While I was going through this thread I just had this look on my face: :nasty:

But then after I read Barracuda and Schumy's last couple of posts in this thread I was like:

BOWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BOWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

BOWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAH!

I just cant stop laughing :dielaugh:











Ridiculous enough for you? :wallbang: :groan:
 

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Pulsar36 said:
since Moratti claimed that "it was our intent to only make money off marketing the player, knowing full well that if he did come to our team to play, he would flop and I woudl be forced to sell him off for a loss".
That line actually made me laugh.
 
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