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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
This is a joke email that has been circulating around Spain since the last Madrid - Barca game. Got it from my wife's cousin - I've done my best to translate but have missed several so I've copied the original at the bottom for someone that has better Spanish skills than mine.

For all the Barca fans:
(if you are a Madrid fan, nothing personal…)

1. Who is the most sheltered keeper in La Liga?
- Casillas, because he is wrapped by 10 blankets

2. Why does Real Madrid play on Saturdays?
- Because football is played on Sundays

3. There goes a Brazilian, a Cameroonian and an Argentine....
- Do you get it?
- No. Neither does Madrid’s defense.

4. Telefonica (telephone company in Spain) is now advising that in order to place a call from Madrid, you must first dial 0-3.

5. Text WAIST to 5577 and with the money collected from the SMS fees we will try to buy a waist for Helguera and Sergio Ramos.

6. The curtain raises and we see Beckham standing there waiting to see if they give him the Balón de Oro. The curtain lowers. The film is called…
- The English Patient

7. The curtain raises and we see Roberto Carlos saying “In three weeks we will be leaders!!!” The curtain lowers. The film is called…
- Dangerous Lies

8. The curtain raises and we see Gravesen saying that Barca has won by luck. The curtain lowers. The film is called…
- The Man Who Never Was There

9. The curtain raises and again we see Gravesen on the stage. The curtain lowers. The film is called…
- Shrek

10. The curtain raises and we see that Barca has put in 3 goals against Casillas. Madrid has none. The curtain lowers. The film is called…
- Home Alone

11. Florentino Perez is at the physicians office for a checkup, and the Dr. says:
- Uuuuuuuyyyyyyyyyy!!! You are fatal! But that very jodido Venga, he does not annoy doctor to me, what I have? Then of to´o 1

12. Do you know why Madrid is called Bethlehem?
- Because there are many little figures but no moves.

13. In what way is the trophy room of Madrid like a sign?
- Everything in it is old, used, or stolen.

14. In what way is Madrid like the festival of Eurovisión?
- Because Luxembourg never wins.

15. In what way is Madrid like the Sagrada Familia (famous cathedral in Barcelona)?
- It costs a fortune and only interests the Japanese tourists.

16. Who will be the sponsor of Madrid next season?
- Actimel, because it reinforces the defenses (Actimel is a yogurt drink that is touted as building your immunities becasue of its pro-biotic properties).

17. Why do they call Madrid the sewer/toilet?
- Because the packages go out at night and then at ten in the morning they are in training (this is a typical Catalan reference to shit which is weirdly ingrained in the culture)

18. Why does Beckham drink through his nose in the Pepsi commercials?
- Because he does not have COPAS (cups).

19.”Mama, mama!! There is a black in the garden!” cries a young boy to his mother.
- “What is he doing?” says the mother in reply.
- Nothing!
- Ah! Then leave him alone - that is Robinho!

20. Do you know which Madrid player is a triathelete?
- Robinho, because he runs, makes bicycle kick, then... nothing.

21. Why is Casillas called the "Internaut"?
- Because he spends all day searching in the net.

===== ORIGINAL SPANISH ========

PARA TODOS AQUELLOS DEL BARÇA.:
(los que seáis del Madrid... pues bueno, no es nada personal...)

1.Sabeis cual es el portero mas abrigado de la liga???
Casillas, por que esta arropado por 10 mantas

2.Porqué el Real Madrid juega los sábados?
Porque el futbol es en domingo

3.Van un brasileño, un camerunés y un argentino
¿lo has pillado?
- No
La defensa del madrid tampoco

4.Telefonica avisa que ahora para llamar desde madrid se
tiene que marcar el 0-3 delante

5.Colabora:Envia CINTURA al 5577 y con el dinero
recoletado con los SMS intentaremos comprar una cintura para
Helguera y Sergio Ramos

6.Se abre el telón y sale Beckham esperando a ver si le dan el Balón de Oro..
Se baja el telón...¿Como se llama la película?
El paciente inglés.

7.Se abre el telón y sale Roberto Carlos diciendo "en tres semanas
seremos líderes"...Se baja el telón...¿Como se llama la película?
Mentiras arriesgadas
(recordad que el macaco lo dijo un mes antes de jugar ante el Barça!!!
jajaja)

8.Se abre el telón y sale Gravesen diciendo que el barça
ha ganado por suerte. .Se cierra el telón...¿Como se llama la
película? El hombre que nunca estuvo allí.

9.Se abre el telón y sale Gravesen...Se cierra el telón...¿Como se
llama la película? Shrek

10.Se abre el telón y sale el Barça endonsándole 3 goles a Casillas.
Los del madrid no hacen nada...Se cierra el telón.¿Como se llama la
película? Solo en casa

11.Va Florentino Pérez a un chequeo médico y le dice el médico:
Uuuuuuuyyyy!!! Está usted fatal eh? Pero que muy jodido Venga, no me
fastidie doctor, qué tengo? Pues de to´o

12.Sabes por qué al Madrid le llaman el Belén?
Porque hay muchas figuritas pero ninguna se mueve

13.¿En qué se parece la sala de trofeos del Real Madrid al Rastro? En
Que todo es viejo, usado o robado.

14.¿En qué se parece el Madrid al festival de Eurovisión ?
En que nunca gana Luxemburgo

15.¿En que se parece el real Madrid a la sagrada familia?
En que ha costado un dineral y solo interesa a los Japoneses

16.Cual será el patrocinador del Madrid la temporada que viene? Pues
Actimel, porque refuerza las defensas.

17.¿Porque al Madrid le llaman SEUR?
Porque los paquetes salen de noche y a las diez de la mañana están
en el entrenamiento.

18.¿Porqué en el anuncio de Pepsi Beckham bebe a morro?
Porque no tiene COPAS.

19.Mamá, mamá, hay un negro en el jardín!!
-¿Y qué hace hijo mío?
-Nada!
-Ah! Pues déjalo que es Robinho

20.¿A que no sabéis qué jugador del Madrid es Triatleta?
Robinho, porque corre, hace bicicleta y luego... nada.

21.Por que a Casillas le llaman el internauta??
Porque esta todo el dia buscando en la red
 

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Some funny stuff there, although some bits weren't funny... but I had a bit of a giggle so I'll give you a :thumbsup:. I particulary liked the Shrek Gravie call. :D

21. Why is Casillas called the "Internauta"?
- Because the entire day he goes lookikng in the internet.

I think there is a bit of a mistake on this one, you should have just net and not internet. Red is also what they call a net at tennis etc... and of course you can say the net short for internet. It just doesn't seem right. And it should read Internaut.

Should be like this:

21. Why is Casillas called the "Internaut"?
- Because he spends all day searching in the net.
 

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Barcino said:
15. In what way is Madrid like the Sagrada Familia (famous cathedral in Barcelona)?
- It costs a fortune and only interests the Japanese tourists.

This is the only really really funny one... :howler:
 

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CorazonMerengue said:
Some funny stuff there, although some bits weren't funny... but I had a bit of a giggle so I'll give you a :thumbsup:. I particulary liked the Shrek Gravie call. :D
21. Why is Casillas called the "Internauta"?
- Because the entire day he goes lookikng in the internet.
I think there is a bit of a mistake on this one, you should have just net and not internet. Red is also what they call a net at tennis etc... and of course you can say the net short for internet. It just doesn't seem right. And it should read Internaut.

Should be like this:
21. Why is Casillas called the "Internaut"?
- Because he spends all day searching in the net.
last word always your's, huh? ... :yuck:
 

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4. Telefonica (telephone company in Spain) is now advising that in order to place a call from Madrid, you must first dial 0-3.
:howler:

thanx for sharing it with us :)
 

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Discussion Starter #7
CorazonMerengue said:
Should be like this:

21. Why is Casillas called the "Internaut"?
- Because he spends all day searching in the net.
Ah yes this makes much more sense. My head was busting by the time I got to #21.

Visca Barca! Smash the Chelski!!! :devil: :devil: :devil:
 

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ViscaBarcaInter said:
Seriously though, what is up with this weird Catalan obsession with shit? :howler:
That moment of relax, pleassure, you with yourself and noone else, a unique experience and this suffocated "nyick" sound you make... I'm sure you know what I mean. :hopefull:
 

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Koeman4 said:
That moment of relax, pleassure, you with yourself and noone else, a unique experience and this suffocated "nyick" sound you make... I'm sure you know what I mean. :hopefull:
You are some weird people over there. :D:D:D:D:D
 

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LOL, some funny stuff.. :D

I got a bigger joke, its shame only people around Kuwait will find it funny, still I make it daily when I meet a Real Madrid fan..

Q - do you know who gonna be next season sponsor in Real Madrid Shirts ?

A - Wataniya Chicken .. in replace of simens :D


cause Wataniya Chicken are white, hehe :D

and the plastic bag for the chicken is in white, and with the big name in orange :D

hope some will find it funny though :)
 

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sorry,,,its not,,,but since its about real madrid i'll give u a :)......
but plzz don't write or tell it to anyone ever again unless from kwait ;)
 
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