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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old August 1st, 2005, 02:02 Thread Starter
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Short stories, Monologues etc.

I believe I read in your "Our Museum"/"Welcome" that things regarding Drama was welcome.

First I'll give a bit of information about myself. I am 19 (born 1986) live in the city of Waterloo, Canada. I go to St. Jeromes University which is the Roman Catholic affiliate of the University of Waterloo. Waterloo has two Universities the other being Wilfred Laurier. I go to church regularly at the Campus where there is still a presence of Resurrectionist priests, who are part of a Religious order and are generally of superiour quality than parish priests. I have a somewhat of a radical streak of Catholicism in me, yet at the same time I am not afraid of attacking the Church or even saying things that could be perceived and most likely rightfully so as being blasphmous etc. I have recently gone to Washington DC to attend a vigil against the Death penalty. Went to the Pentagon and demonstrated. I resided at the Catholic Worker House in Washington and met several influential people in the non-violent peace movement. I met nuns who spent time in prison for breaking into Nuclear arms facilities and pouring their blood on the silos and hammering symbolically on the concrete covering the silos. I met people who are involved in Voices in the Wilderness who are currently on trial in the U.S. (the same day and place where Judith Miller was sentenced to prison) for smuggling medicine to children who would have died other wise do to the U.S./U.N. imposed sanctions in Iraq. I have attended the protest against the School of America's at Fort Benning Georgia. I have met conscientious objectors to the war in Iraq and to war in general. I have fed the poor, in Washington D.C. in a street with marble lining the street. I was asked and I have written and done a peice on how "Independence Day is a sham".

I am taking Honours Arts at St. Jeromes and am going into second year, with the likelihood that I will major in Drama. I do not believe I will do this for a profession or have the talent to pursue it for a living, but I do do it because this is a passion, and University is a place to slack my thirst for serious thought, and knowledge, and for my desire to understand everything.

I have performed in the University of Waterloo Drama department's production of Marat/Sade as Jaques Roux. It was a very important experience in my life, and esential in my evolution as an actor, and more importantly as a person. I have several ideas for plays and a couple for short movies. One is about a man who has family who thinks he died on September 11th, yet he is really alive. I have a play idea that involves a man working in a small shop of some sort who is faced with things inside his head telling him to break the cycle that he is in, where he eventually confronts them. There is more, there is much more.

I tell you this, because it is important that I do so, so as to explore a theme that has been in me for a long time, and that is full exposure. You can be full naked, yet completely clothed in the mind. I tell you this because I feel it is important that you know these things about me, because I am so vague, such an enigma in real life as I do not have anything to say about many things, that I choose to make them think that I am hiding what I truly am, when really I am not that much.

As a person I enjoy my drama as something that has passion. I want to strip away all that is unnecessary and find the core, the essence of something and have that exposed, shown and revieled. Drama, I believe and this includes all art (for me) must go somewhere. It must show something. And the thing that it shows must be relevant. (I realize that what is relevant is a subjective thing, so I think it must be reasonably universil). I can't stand bull shit. I cannot stand a thing trying to pass for something, and I can't stand watering down something, because the truth is unacceptable.

This is a bit of a rant. It is a fit of passion. I feel alive at this moment, because I am making a statment, and statments are something, they are not nothing which I find in a lot of people who believe too much in subjectivity. I will not go back and edit or read what I wrote (as I post this) because passion is (again) something that I believe must be perserved, must be cut in it's instance. I am sure I will regret writing some of the things I wrote as in incorrect or not fully developed or explained ideas.

That was the bit about me. Now I will get to the Short stories/monologue parts. I want people to start posting some of the things that they have written. I know that alomst all of you have something like that, hidden away from the world to see, and I am encouraging you to share it. It does not have to be good, it can in fact be terrible (and I hope some of it is). It will be open to critique of others. I want things to have full disclosure, I want your strengths but more importantly your weaknesses exposed. In short I want emotional and psychological nakedness, and I don't want comfortable nakedness (that perhaps will come in time). Do not be precious with your work! Try not to hide behind excuses that it is not done yet, or it is a first draft (that very well maybe the case, but I don't care). That is an excuse, a buffer.

I will post what I believe to be my best work tomorrow that can be expressed in this medium, and I will also post some work that I know needs work or has a good premise, or not fully developed, or to be frank just doesn't have it.

When you post your work (I hope you do, despite the fact that I'm coming off a bit arrogant) I want your honest assesment of it, and perhaps a little story on how you came about and created it.

Till Tomorrow...
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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old August 3rd, 2005, 21:25 Thread Starter
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Sorry I have to put it off for a couple of more days, not that anyone is exactly all over this . Sorry for the long post by the way, it is a bit of a put off.
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 08:43
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I appreciate your thoughts, but regarding the short stories/monologues thing: Of course I have written a lot but not in English. Don't know how the other non-Anglos feel about this, but I fear my translation would destroy my own work...

But, bring on your pieces....

FORZA BEPPE SIGNORI!!!
FORZA BEPPE FAVALLI!!!!
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Venus, my homecountry, your women are the best, your cities the most beautiful, your religion the one and only, your nature ranks first, your men are the most masculine, your language a grace of sound, your food the most delicious, your history the most glorious, your culture knows no rivals. And of course we hate Uranus!!
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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 19:49 Thread Starter
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Sorry about the delay Guys... I mean Viola. I was a bit busy at work, and a little unmotivated when I came home, except for the first post of passion that came too quickly so you know that there will always be a bit of a let off.

First let me give you some background information about my first piece, and kindly ask Bonita, and the other moderators, to not censor this piece or any piece that is contained herin as long as it is serious. This is just a request in advance as I don't know you that well, though I am sure that this place is in excellent hands.

Well this monologue was written for a first year Introduction to Drama at the University of Waterloo in Andrew Houston's class. It was to be part of a workshop where you would partner up with someone else and do their monologue. The girl I partnered up with didn't want to do this monologue, which is fine. The reader should note that this is a performance piece with very little stage directions (none at all except for the one I added in) so by reading it you are missing out on most of it. So I ask you to try to use your imagination as much as possible.


Here it is:
(Note, I'm using the rough copy of the monologue as I can't find the final draft. This is the one I read to the class)

You know I have been told that you should start a speech - in this case a monologue, I hope - with some sort of attention grabging opening line. Here it goes -

Have you ever stuck your finger up your ass?

Oh God I can't believe I just said that. Wooh
I'm thinking of Adam when I say this-
Not that he sticks his finger up ass, or at least not to my knowledge.
He's like a non-jewish versionof Woddy Allen. He's self-conscious in that way.
Very good looking when he puts his mind to it- maybe he'll stick his fingers up my...
Shit! I mean ohh God. Jesus I can picture Mikey shiaking his head thinking in his head
"Derek- Shut up', in his gravely voice (hesitation) which I apparently can't do.

He was slightly homophobic during that drinking game we played after that cast party.
It was Kings with some kissing options.

I don't blame him, his mother being who and what she is, and let's face it, me being slightly homoerotic. He is a very good looking guy though, very muscular... maybe he'll stick his... shit, I'm doing it again.

Now before I end this monologue. I'm wondering if I, or my character, transformed. It's kinda necessary for this monologue, if it is one. As I'm doing it for a class. I don't think so, but we'll see.

It is interesting though, if I were gay and hid it from everybody and repressed my sexual urges - note that I said sexual not homosexual, beacuse to a homosexual what we call homosexual urges are to them just sexual urges that are towards members of the same sex- anywy if I were gay and was telling everyone with this monologue that I was, it would be a very brave thing to do... A big risk.

But I'm not gay and my sexual urges- note that I said sexual, not heterosexual- are strictly towards girls. And so this monologue - or whatever- doesn't have the same meaning it would have, if I were gay.

So it just goes to show that the meaning and the energy put behind a speech, monologue, whatever is the most important thing. And though cathcy phrases can help as well as good writing, it is not by far the most important thing.

The end

I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you can put some of your own work here as well. If any one would like to use the monologue for auditions etc. Post message me telling me the purpose you are using it for and I'll give you details on who to give credit for this monologue. Other than that you are free to use it.
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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 20:11 Thread Starter
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This nest monologue was written by me when I was in grade 11 during an english class, yet not for an english class. I was very angry at the time and the words just flowed as well as a complex imagrey of what was actually happening, based on the first phrase. "What does it matter?"

This monologue features one a man who is disembodied from his body while he is watching himself getting sacrificed to the Gods. It is something he feels he should be honoured to do, yet his body is struggling. He is acting in a way he disdains, he is trying to get a grip of himslef. There are two opposing forces, bound together by the same body. They both die, they both are sacrificed, neither one is happy; one for dying and the other for not dying properly.

What does it matter?
What does it matter, that to me my life is over?
Why must I hold onto my frail existance?
Why must I cling grasping onto my life like an old man, plaeding and bargaining for my life?
Do I not accept the dignity my death does offer?
Must I squel like a girl before the knife?
Why can't I bear my throat to the knife with my limbs untied and cry out,"My life is demanded by the Gods"?
No, I go forced kicking and screaming, "saying please spare my life."
They kick me down demanding exhorting me to be a man.
Why...why do I say that I have not lived my life to fulfillment?
Don't I... don't I realize that my life is not my own?
That I was created by the Gods and that my life is forfeit to them?

Maybe now that I am tied to the stone, the calm of acceptance will yet pass over me, and the elders will yet say that I was faithful to the Gods in all things.
(Protagonsit looks)
I see the priest coming.
The knife is raised.
My struggling is doubled.
(Protagonist looks down empathetically, using his head to sooth his own forehead)
Please be still.
(Protagonist looks up, and is distant)
The words are said and I am struck.
I wither.
(Protagonist falls to his knees)
I am dead.
Condemned to hell by my body.

As you can see, this monologue is a lot cleaner than the first one. The first one being a mess of words all over the place, this one being a lot neater, and more polished.
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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 20:29
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First off, a belated welcome to the World of Art forum, Zangari_Italia; thanks also for opening this thread. Like you, I also hope other members will follow suit.

I believe that you have read the XT forum rules and are mature enough to follow them so, as long as we have that understanding, do post your work for us to peruse. Good luck!



Viola:

It would be wonderful to read your work as well. Don't be bashful about posting them in the original language. (Good heavens there's always babelfish translator, no?)



Looking forward to reading more from you both!

For me, football is irrationality, tribal, passionate... - Almogŕver
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 20:37 Thread Starter
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This next one, has never been performed and was written with an audition in mind, but I felt that it was something I should wait to polish a bit more. I promised not to just give you my complete work so as to encourage others to not worry if it is good or not, just to write it down and with help of others, make changes to it, that will improve it. So that is what this next one is about. The first two are pretty much engraved in stone unless you got a totally kickass idea. This one I want you to say wow why the hell did you say that, this part doesn't flow well etc.

This monologue is about the auditionee making a bold statment, it is practically a sexual proposition, as well as a proposition for acting. It is meant to be physically, and sexually uncomfortable for the director, so invading the directors personnel space is what I was envisioning for this. Eye contact is essential, perhaps with the unbottoning of a shirt. Not sure how well it is written, or if all the ideas are what I view to be 'correct'. I know though that I want your thoughts, to help me out here. (Note this is for a female director though you can change the words to suit a male)

Here it goes:

I am thinking about your ***** now.
I am thinking about doing things to you that I have done for other girls, but never to a women.
I am not putting your face to their bodies, I'm putting their movements, their pleasures, their sighs, their intensity, their desires to your body.
I want to see if I'm good enough for a women, (emphasis on women, as opposed to girls)
for someone who has seen a lot more of life than I have.
(begins unbottoning shirt??? Walks towards director????)
I want to see if I'm subtle enough for you,
mature enough for you,
strong enough for you.
And it is about power,
Not to control you,
but the power to pleasure you,
the ability to pleasure you,
to pleasure people.
You won't be selfish will you?
I do enjoy pleasuring other people,
making people feel good,
through massage,
through cooking,
through sex,
through acting,
to make people feel intrigued,
interested,
to make people think,
the thinking of a person who is seeing something clearly,
and just might understand something.
And perhaps to entertain.
(Change of mood, perhaps with actor away putting back on shirt)
So Madam (change fitting to circumstances) Director, how did my audition go?

I like this monologue, I like the potential it contains, especially an attractice female actress doing this in front of a male director, though an actor changing the words to fit a male director would increase the freak out mood that I want to create.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to all of your comments, and I hope that it just isn't me in this thread but someone else. It really is essential.

Have a good day everyone.
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 20:41 Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonita
First off, a belated welcome to the World of Art forum, Zangari_Italia; thanks also for opening this thread. Like you, I also hope other members will follow suit.

I believe that you have read the XT forum rules and are mature enough to follow them so, as long as we have that understanding, do post your work for us to peruse. Good luck!



Viola:

It would be wonderful to read your work as well. Don't be bashful about posting them in the original language. (Good heavens there's always babelfish translator, no?)



Looking forward to reading more from you both!
Thanks Bonita. Any post about your thoughts on my work (and hopefully others) would be much appreciated. Post your own stuff here as well. That goes for everyone else, and even if you don't have anything, just post your thoughts on other people's work, and start writing your own.

P.S. I would love to read your work even if it is a bad translation.
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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 21:37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zangari_Italia
Thanks Bonita. Any post about your thoughts on my work (and hopefully others) would be much appreciated. Post your own stuff here as well. That goes for everyone else, and even if you don't have anything, just post your thoughts on other people's work, and start writing your own.
Thanks Zangari_Italia.

I think you are very gifted and productive and I wish you luck in your studies. You are still young and will have much to learn in the forthcoming years. [I do have a right to say that as I have spent a lot of time in the world of academia.]

I am interested in explicating the fields of art and art history and you can read my musings in the other topics in this forum.

In all honesty, the World of Art forum is really for the display and critiques of images. Drama is accepted as far as it is a category of "performance art" which is a type of "arts happenings;" rather than performing art such as traditional plays. If you have work that is directly related to literature -- for example, a script, short stories, free form prose, etc. -- I'd suggest that you post them in the book forum [Bonita's Bookstore] just a few flights up. That said, I am happy to view your work and hope you will keep exploring and experimenting.

Now I do have one issue: while you should invite other members to post their work, it is really not up to you nor anyone else to tell them "to start writing their own." In this forum, I think we all enjoy our own freedom to read or post or do nothing at all and, at the same time, respect others' rights. One could only make sure one is having a good time writing and not dictating their wishes upon others.

All best!
Bonita

For me, football is irrationality, tribal, passionate... - Almogŕver

Last edited by Punkette B; August 5th, 2005 at 01:24.
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old August 5th, 2005, 01:45 Thread Starter
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My apologies Bonita, this was all done in haste, and without the necessary forethought. I do have a lot to learn. I was only trying to encourage others to try to create something, as I hold this to be an important thing, but I am a little over the top. If this works out then it works out, if not, then it wasn't meant to be sort of thing.
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old August 5th, 2005, 14:36
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No problem, Zangari_Italia.

For me, football is irrationality, tribal, passionate... - Almogŕver
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old August 5th, 2005, 16:36
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I think the setting of your second monologue is quite interesting. You're quite talented, if only a bit raw sometimes and it seems you lose the distance to your own characters easily. But you're on a good way, imo.

FORZA BEPPE SIGNORI!!!
FORZA BEPPE FAVALLI!!!!
KRYLIA SOVETOV

Venus, my homecountry, your women are the best, your cities the most beautiful, your religion the one and only, your nature ranks first, your men are the most masculine, your language a grace of sound, your food the most delicious, your history the most glorious, your culture knows no rivals. And of course we hate Uranus!!
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old August 6th, 2005, 00:19 Thread Starter
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Thankyou.
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old December 11th, 2005, 13:09
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zangari_Italia
What does it matter?
What does it matter, that to me my life is over?
Why must I hold onto my frail existance?
Why must I cling grasping onto my life like an old man, plaeding and bargaining for my life?

Firstly the monologue starts off really strong Why does it matter? the question we must all think about atleast once in our life, although im not sure sometimes when I look and see other people.

I like the way that you ask ,is life really worth living, especially if you havent achieved anything or done anything noteworthy. Also why are people instantly scared of death when it could be seen as a release or another path in itself (Depending on your disposition)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zangari_Italia
Do I not accept the dignity my death does offer?
Must I squel like a girl before the knife?
Why can't I bear my throat to the knife with my limbs untied and cry out,"My life is demanded by the Gods"?
No, I go forced kicking and screaming, "saying please spare my life."
They kick me down demanding exhorting me to be a man.
Why...why do I say that I have not lived my life to fulfillment?
Don't I... don't I realize that my life is not my own?
That I was created by the Gods and that my life is forfeit
I also find it funny and ironic that he is pleading for his life when he has not fulfilled anything but in the instance that he is being sacrificed to the gods although he wont be aware of this fufilment, he would of done more than in his previous lifetime.
What i can never understand is why people are scared to think they were created!? I dont understand this attitude and mentality that people think that they never owe anything to anyone. Which is so selfish and utterly irresponsible thinking that it doesnt make sense. People never really accept their own responsibilities, so why cant they atleast accept others.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zangari_Italia
Maybe now that I am tied to the stone, the calm of acceptance will yet pass over me, and the elders will yet say that I was faithful to the Gods in all things.
(Protagonsit looks)
I see the priest coming.
The knife is raised.
My struggling is doubled.
(Protagonist looks down empathetically, using his head to sooth his own forehead)
Please be still.
(Protagonist looks up, and is distant)
The words are said and I am struck.
I wither.
(Protagonist falls to his knees)
I am dead.
Condemned to hell by my body.
:thmbdown: :thmbdown: :thmbdown:

If anything I personally think that the second half is quite weak. I think it could be improved if you explain maybe why he may find acceptance or why he belives he should still live. Just like in the first half he is contemplating the futilness of existence.
What happens when he dies. Does he feel release? is he still angry? or is that it when he dies and life really is meaningless.



Overall , I like it but to me it does have some problems. I like the angryness of the monologue but as i have said the second half lets it down

:thmbup: "To Give Anything Less Than Your Best Is To Sacrifice The Gift" :thmbup: - Steve Prefontaine
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old December 19th, 2005, 02:35
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Oh, such an interesting stories, thanks
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