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post #1 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 17:20 Thread Starter
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Britishness Test!

From what I can figure out, today marks the addition of a new Britishness test for people wanting to be come British citizens. I've looked at some sample tests and the questions run the range of identifying current pop groups, to your ability to return an electric teakettle, to identifying obscure local dialects. One question involved returning a ring after a broken engagement.

Here's a sample link.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3077964.stm

What's up with this? This would be amusing if I didn't suspect that they were absolutely serious.

overview:http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/pol...icle323790.ece

But tomorrow is new day and new chance. -- Alija

Nel cielo biancazzurro brilla un'altra stella - In the lightblue sky another star shines. Alija tu non sarai mai sola. Alija you will never be alone.

Last edited by Humbird; November 1st, 2005 at 17:33.
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post #2 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 17:35 Thread Starter
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I actually did well on this test.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/qui...in_page_id=711

But tomorrow is new day and new chance. -- Alija

Nel cielo biancazzurro brilla un'altra stella - In the lightblue sky another star shines. Alija tu non sarai mai sola. Alija you will never be alone.
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post #3 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 17:45
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both tests 5/10,

not bad if I consider that I did it with guessing on every single question,
completely no clue of britishness.
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post #4 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 17:49
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The question is - how many native Britons would pass?

7/10 on the BBC's test...
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post #5 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 17:50
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I knew four, and guessed a couple of the others, but a real British person would punch the person who set such stupid questions.
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post #6 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 17:50 Thread Starter
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I would have done better if there were questions about Monty Python.

But tomorrow is new day and new chance. -- Alija

Nel cielo biancazzurro brilla un'altra stella - In the lightblue sky another star shines. Alija tu non sarai mai sola. Alija you will never be alone.
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post #7 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 17:58
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I think that this test is excellent. It ensures that citizenship is restricted solely to those capable of integrating into British life. Hence the questions about pub etiquette.

Glen: "That last post of Bastin's is just too authoritative to argue against."

gOD: "It scares the f*ck out of me but I'm with Bastin here."

Cacěni: "Ah, there you go using that absurd über-memory of your's...not fair."

Boyo: "Even when it comes to rap, Bastin is an authority."

Attila_the_Nun: "A most respected scion of Misty Albion, the illustious Bastin - the redoubtable defender of all our noble traditions."

Humbird: "Bastin is very attractive when talking nautical! "
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post #8 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 18:16
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I didn't know any of the answers and just guessed... I still got 6 right on the first test!

The second test I actually knew one answer (!) and got 4 right.

Mercedes bastard & Limburger-loving schmuck
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post #9 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 18:20 Thread Starter
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Can't they catch undesirable foreigners by checking what they put on their chips?

Ketchup - Out!
Mayonaise - Out!
Vinegar - Stay!

But tomorrow is new day and new chance. -- Alija

Nel cielo biancazzurro brilla un'altra stella - In the lightblue sky another star shines. Alija tu non sarai mai sola. Alija you will never be alone.
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post #10 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 18:24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Humbird
Can't they catch undesirable foreigners by checking what they put on their chips?

Ketchup - Out!
Mayonaise - Out!
Vinegar - Stay!
Or Salad Cream. It's what us peasants eat instead of mayonnaise
It's like gold dust among the expats across the world, triggering pangs of homesickness (similar with Marmite, stuffing, Lucozade, Blu-tac, Polo mints and Chicken Tikka Masala).
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post #11 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 18:24
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Got four right on the first one, but the second won't load. I'm a bad, bad Brit.

Then again, if I would want to become a British citizen, I should know this stuff better. A valid test in that respect.
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post #12 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 18:33 Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tim
A valid test in that respect.
Not at all. A valid test would have questions like:

SWP or Beckham?
Stilton or Cheddar
Welsh or Pembroke?
Harrods or Harvey Nichols?
Eddie or Patsy?
Tudor or Stuart?

Fill in the blank:

Nobody expects the_________.

But tomorrow is new day and new chance. -- Alija

Nel cielo biancazzurro brilla un'altra stella - In the lightblue sky another star shines. Alija tu non sarai mai sola. Alija you will never be alone.
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post #13 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 20:10
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after all, I am not as stupid as I thought I am after the test
even anglophonic persons wouldn't be much better in it
but apparently it's hard to become a briton.
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post #14 of 75 (permalink) Old November 1st, 2005, 20:47
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uf, uf. I don't stand a chance. p Scored 4 in the real test and 5 in the alternative one.

Here the comment of the last:

Your score was 5 out of a possible 10

Parlez vous Anglais? Dear me, they won't even let you past Dover with that pathetic understanding of British culture. We hereby sentence you to 30 days of BBC World Service.


LOL

I would never get used on the left driving over there. Even as a pedestrian I've been in danger in London.
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post #15 of 75 (permalink) Old November 2nd, 2005, 00:26
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Quote:
Nobody expects the_________.
That was actually one of the questions on the quiz I just took.

Hurrah for Paquador!
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post #16 of 75 (permalink) Old November 2nd, 2005, 03:12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lili
I would never get used on the left driving over there. Even as a pedestrian I've been in danger in London.
That is why they have those big signs painted on the streets, "LOOK LEFT" and "LOOK RIGHT" .
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post #17 of 75 (permalink) Old November 2nd, 2005, 03:17
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This is my third year in London and I still can't cross a street before checking both directions to make sure I'm not looking to the wrong one.

On the other hand, I got 7 in the first quiz and 8 at the second.

Love is the drug, and I'm a junkie.
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post #18 of 75 (permalink) Old November 2nd, 2005, 05:34
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5 on first
3 on second

second was too hard...damn brits

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man’s soul and faith
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post #19 of 75 (permalink) Old November 2nd, 2005, 05:45
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lili
uf, uf. I don't stand a chance. p Scored 4 in the real test and 5 in the alternative one.

Here the comment of the last:

Your score was 5 out of a possible 10

Parlez vous Anglais? Dear me, they won't even let you past Dover with that pathetic understanding of British culture. We hereby sentence you to 30 days of BBC World Service.


LOL

I would never get used on the left driving over there. Even as a pedestrian I've been in danger in London.

guessing things right by chance, as I did, is not a big achievement at all.
but I have never been to any english speaking country so far, and I also parle pas anglais. I've learned some basics by watching monty pythons and being a xtratime poster posting and speaking are different things. after all, I have a german education, thus I wouldn't dare to speak a single word in any civilized language (except hungarian and portuguese, maybe, after some bottles of vodka)
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post #20 of 75 (permalink) Old November 2nd, 2005, 09:09
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6 & 7, not quite ingeburgerd but I'd probably know more if I actually lived there.

:embarass: :embarass:
:embarass: :embarass:
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Are you watching enough TV?
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