The Fat Mike Ashley Newcastle United 2014/15 thread - Xtratime Community
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post #1 of 35 (permalink) Old January 17th, 2015, 13:21 Thread Starter
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The Fat Mike Ashley Newcastle United 2014/15 thread



So who is Mike gonna offer the full-time job to?

John Carver?

Tim Sherwood?

Come on, surely some yes man :hopeful:

Tim might think too highly of himself to say yes.


Lex Immers - Pace & power. Holland's #1 box to box player

Feyenoord forum - the place to talk about this phenomenon

Ronald Koeman "Oranje kan Immers goed gebruiken"

Fred Rutten "Feyenoord heeft Immers nodig"

Van Marwijk over Lex Immers: 'Stille kracht van Feyenoord'

John de Wolf “Dat is nou precies de aanjager, het ’etterbakkie’ in het veld dat Feyenoord in dit soort wedstrijden nodig heeft"


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post #2 of 35 (permalink) Old January 17th, 2015, 13:42
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https://twitter.com/moneymikeashley

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Jan 11 When I read that Remi Garde made £68m from selling players at Lyon my cock went as hard as a concrete block.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Jan 5 Don't worry @OfficialOAFC it'll take a lot more than a convicted rapist for me to remove Sports Direct advertising.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Dec 31 Ally McCoist was an excellent team captain on Question of Sport, which I'm obviously taking into consideration.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Oct 22 Top 10 finish is minimum requirement this season. Unless we don't manage it.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Oct 18 Can someone lend me their Sky Go username and password so I can show Sky Sports News on the big screen at halftime?? Cheers.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Sep 15 If you want to abuse Pardew on Saturday then buy a ticket from the box office. He can't hear you from outside.

Last edited by CDG; January 17th, 2015 at 13:52.
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post #3 of 35 (permalink) Old January 17th, 2015, 19:36
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Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
45 minutes ago If Pards has taught Carver anything it'll be to say that he's 'still the right man for the job' after this match.
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post #4 of 35 (permalink) Old January 17th, 2015, 20:04
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You know that's a parody right?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob
Of course you need TGO you retards.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mutu
ill be honest, im plastered but i well into that women and she was me and i lost her ass
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post #5 of 35 (permalink) Old January 18th, 2015, 08:57
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Lineker : “Brilliant tactics from Newcastle board to delay appointing their new manager so they don’t have to buy any players in the transfer window.”

^ would not at all be surprised.

Ashley has made it clear that cups are not a priority. Main thing is avoid relegation and don`t attempt to qualify for Europe and be prepared to have your best players sold from under you. Oh and a rolling contact on low wages to boot.

No coach with ambitions would want to manage us.
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post #6 of 35 (permalink) Old January 18th, 2015, 11:38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Green One View Post
You know that's a parody right?
Lol Is that a serious question?
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post #7 of 35 (permalink) Old January 18th, 2015, 11:45
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Some more beauties

https://twitter.com/moneymikeashley


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
3 hrs ago Carver keeps saying he wants the job. Yeah, I want a tug off Cheryl Cole but there's two hopes of that happening.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Jul 15 Locked in talks to sign a Monaco striker. It's either Falcao, James Rodriguez, or Emmanuel Riviere. I'm not saying which.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Jul 30 Just wanked off over Southampton's balance sheets.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Aug 16 We're one point off 8th and we haven't even kicked a ball yet!


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Sep 13 Didn't know Pele was going to be playing for Southampton today. No wonder we're losing.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Oct 14 Settled on an Alba 32" plasma eventually. £180 from ASDA Benton.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Oct 18 Usually the game is on the telly, if we aren't careful the telly will be on the game.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Oct 28 see Steven Taylor was overlooked for the Ballon d'Or shortlist again this year.
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post #8 of 35 (permalink) Old February 2nd, 2015, 14:38
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No surprise he went for the cheap option in John Chavver.

Looks like Santon is leaving on loan to Inter with an oblogation to buy. No incoming transfers unsurprisingly.

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post #9 of 35 (permalink) Old February 4th, 2015, 06:28
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https://twitter.com/moneymikeashley

Some new ones.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Feb 2 A productive window so far. 6 out 0 in.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Feb 2 Loaning 4 Newcastle players to Rangers. Nothing at all suspicious about that.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Jan 26 Just a quick update for the fans. John Carver's contract expires in 2020.

Love it!
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post #10 of 35 (permalink) Old February 8th, 2015, 20:03
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Mike [email protected]
Good draw today. It's hard to compete with the likes of Stoke financially

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
5h 5 hours ago 47,763 here today. Against Stoke. Battle for 10th. It's freezing. And it's on the telly. Money talks, and it's told me to stay
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post #11 of 35 (permalink) Old February 10th, 2015, 22:10
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Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
42m 42 minutes ago De Jong has suffered a collapsed lung. He must've seen how low the prices are on http://SportsDirect.com

Lols love it!
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post #12 of 35 (permalink) Old February 13th, 2015, 17:30
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Love it like a fat kid loves Donuts!


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
5h 5 hours ago Fifty Shades of Great savings over at http://sportsdirect.com (UKs number 1).

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
21 hrs 21 hours ago I send a sports direct mug out with all my valentines cards.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Feb 11 Opposition fans, if you are going to hoy coins, aim towards the directors box. Cheers.
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post #13 of 35 (permalink) Old March 6th, 2015, 06:16
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https://twitter.com/MoneyMikeAshley


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Mar 2 Adam Johnson is at Newcastle airport flying to Florida with his lass. He's going to Tampa with her.

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Mar 3 So I've been fined £7500 by the Scottish FA. That should keep the Scottish League going for the next 50 years.


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley
Mar 4 This whole #Rangers thing was a bad idea. Think I'm just going to stay at Newcastle forever now, where I'm appreciated.
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post #14 of 35 (permalink) Old April 19th, 2015, 18:40
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Some great posts following the supposed boycott of the Spurs match

https://twitter.com/MoneyMikeAshley


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 3 hours ago
Comforting to see the majority of 'protesters' wearing this season's Wonga shirt.

#nufc #BoycottSpurs


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 3 hours ago
Full house. Lol.

#nufc #BoycottSpurs

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 50 minutes ago
Proud to announce the highest attendance this weekend at 47,000. We should have a boycott every week!
#nufc #BoycottSpurs


Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 50 minutes ago
It's no use boycotting now. It's the 92nd minute!

#nufc #BoycottSpurs
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post #15 of 35 (permalink) Old May 2nd, 2015, 17:32 Thread Starter
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John Carver accuses Newcastle’s Mike Williamson of getting sent off deliberately
John Carver accuses Newcastle’s Mike Williamson of getting sent off deliberately

http://gu.com/p/48424


Hilarious. Another top interview from Carver


Lex Immers - Pace & power. Holland's #1 box to box player

Feyenoord forum - the place to talk about this phenomenon

Ronald Koeman "Oranje kan Immers goed gebruiken"

Fred Rutten "Feyenoord heeft Immers nodig"

Van Marwijk over Lex Immers: 'Stille kracht van Feyenoord'

John de Wolf “Dat is nou precies de aanjager, het ’etterbakkie’ in het veld dat Feyenoord in dit soort wedstrijden nodig heeft"


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post #16 of 35 (permalink) Old May 2nd, 2015, 18:04
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And on the subject of Mike Ashley, some great tweets!

https://twitter.com/MoneyMikeAshley

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 3 hours ago
Janmaat and Williamson won't be at the West Brom game, make sure YOU are!
Tickets on general sale now from the usual outlets.
#nufc

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 4 hours ago
Glad we let Santon go now. Definitely didn't need an Italian international in defence.
#nufc #lcfc

Mike Ashley @MoneyMikeAshley 5 hours ago
We will 100% not lose this game. You can quote me on that.
#nufc
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post #17 of 35 (permalink) Old May 2nd, 2015, 18:20
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Carver is as bad as Kinnear

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob
Of course you need TGO you retards.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mutu
ill be honest, im plastered but i well into that women and she was me and i lost her ass
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post #18 of 35 (permalink) Old May 2nd, 2015, 18:34
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never realized Carver coached in the MLS, I guess he was there when they went through their British phase with Mo Johnston and co.
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post #19 of 35 (permalink) Old May 7th, 2015, 14:46 Thread Starter
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Newcastle's John Carver: I'm the best coach in the Premier League

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/32627362

This guy is good


Lex Immers - Pace & power. Holland's #1 box to box player

Feyenoord forum - the place to talk about this phenomenon

Ronald Koeman "Oranje kan Immers goed gebruiken"

Fred Rutten "Feyenoord heeft Immers nodig"

Van Marwijk over Lex Immers: 'Stille kracht van Feyenoord'

John de Wolf “Dat is nou precies de aanjager, het ’etterbakkie’ in het veld dat Feyenoord in dit soort wedstrijden nodig heeft"


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post #20 of 35 (permalink) Old May 7th, 2015, 17:00
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I was just heading to post this after reading it, hilarious. Even funnier than the convenience store video...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nico
I dont belive in jinxing mate, I do belive in playing at home with a 2-0 advantage against a team which I cant see scoring 2 goals!

Of course, if we lose, I'll never admit it was me who wrote this.
Forest 2-5 Yeovil aet

Brian Clough - Legend!
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