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post #1 of 47 (permalink) Old December 5th, 2008, 10:52 Thread Starter
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A totally realistic love story

Here I will post part by part my most fantastic love story. For story purposes I am Jake. Will I get my Annie? Will I even see her from a distance? All will be answered. at some point.

True love, from a far distance
In a crummy apartment for two, in which way too many dust rats feel at home.
Jake: I think I found out how to get to meet her.
Luke: Meet who? You always say half of what you are thinking.
Jake: Annie Wenrock.
Luke: ‘laughing’ I see were this will be heading.
Jake: No seriously. I am a great guy and I just feel she is something fantastic.
Luke: Something to do with you watching “Love happens” yesterday night?
Jake: Just a cataclysm. I am a great guy and she’s a great girl, I deserve her.
Luke: A great guy in a small dirty apartment that wants to get it on with a self-centred multimillionaire.
Jake: She’s not self-centred. I read she is very down to earth.
Luke: I read she dates rock stars.
Jake: But she is single now.
Luke: And you are going to fix that, I am sure.
Jake: I just need to meet her and then I will win her over. Have some faith.
Luke: I know you can be charming, but face the facts, Notting hill is just a movie.
Jake: A great movie I would add.
Luke: I liked his roommate best.
Jake: I know you did.
‘pause’
Luke: What is your new and most failsafe plan then?
Jake: I am going to write her a letter.
Luke: What? I mean no, what?! That is your plan?
Jake: It’s going to be a special letter that will pique her interest.
Luke: Must be very special.
Jake: It will be very special.
Luke: Must also convince her agent or whatever it is that actually will read the letter.
Jake: Oh crap.
Luke: You know, Jessica is single now.
Jake: I don’t want recycled girlfriends that passed through my whole friend circle.
Luke: No you want recycled stars that went through the whole rock and roll hall of fame.
Jake: Annie hinted that she was a virgin in the latest interview.
Luke: Must be why she dated Curt Bainco, they say he only date virgins. There is a reason he only go to one date with every girl I reckon.
Jake: You can be pretty disgusting you know.
Luke: I like to call it cynical.
Jake: I just came up with a way to get the letter to her.
Luke: Deliver it in person?
Jake: I could write it as a script. She is an actress, she would read it.
Luke: You never written a script.
Jake: How hard can it be? I do have a way with words.
Luke: I think you’d be better off stalking her.
Jake: Only obsessed creepy people do that. ‘smiles’

Next episode coming soon, "It's all in the script"
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post #2 of 47 (permalink) Old December 5th, 2008, 11:55
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Hehehe, were did you copy this from?

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Until the Lion learns to speak, the tale of hunt will be told by the hunter

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post #3 of 47 (permalink) Old December 5th, 2008, 12:10
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Haha this should be good. Waiting for the next episode!

Originally Posted by bernmilan1
play with BALLS people, BALLS!

Originally Posted by barracuda
Well it's a two horse race, with both horses facing the wrong way, "entertaining" us with primarily manure all season.
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post #4 of 47 (permalink) Old December 5th, 2008, 12:45 Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Osman View Post
Hehehe, were did you copy this from?
I feel insulted. I never copy things. I just wrote it up on a bored at work before noon time. It is going to be based on real events. In the future.

since I went home early from work you may not see a update before next week. but who knows, I can be bored at home sometimes.

Last edited by Johan; December 5th, 2008 at 14:17.
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post #5 of 47 (permalink) Old December 5th, 2008, 15:41
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Ahh, I recognized your sense of humour in it, but wasnt sure.

Good read

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Until the Lion learns to speak, the tale of hunt will be told by the hunter

“I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.”-Genghis Khan
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post #6 of 47 (permalink) Old December 7th, 2008, 12:31
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Sounds like a Harlequin novel. But carry on.

"Annoy, tiny blonde one. Annoy like the wind!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars)

"Keep your words sweet, you may have to eat them."
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post #7 of 47 (permalink) Old December 8th, 2008, 13:31 Thread Starter
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It’s all in the script
The frantically typing on the computer stops as Jake’s sister Pattie comes in.
Pattie: I met Luke on the way in, he said you found your true love.
Jake: He is just being sarcastic.
Pattie: I know, so who are you ogling over?
Jake: Annie. ‘Clinches teeth’
Pattie: Oh, she is downright cute. I understand if you like her.
Jake: Anyway, I am writing down script ideas right now.
Pattie: Script ideas?
Jake: Yes, a script for a love story that will get her interested.
Pattie: It won’t work.
Jake: You’re supposed to be on my side sis’.
Pattie: I mean... She’ll love it!
Jake: Better. I need some advice, should it be present time, historic or pure fictional? I write fiction best, but I think she likes present best.
‘a moment of silent thinking’
Pattie: Why not write a story about a guy in love that writes a script for his loved one so that she wants to meet him?
‘Silent stare’
Jake: I don’t think I can win her over with irony.
Pattie: I think that story idea was way sweet.
Jake: I could end it with “If you somehow managed to read this far you can as well invite me to a date”
Pattie: Why not just write down your address? She is the rich one, she could come to your place.
Jake: Are we back to Notting hill now?
Pattie: On that, why don’t guys like Julia Roberts as much as girls?
Jake: I like her.
Pattie: I mean normal guys.
Jake: Like Luke?
Jake: I was thinking about a story were two kindred spirits met at some place and even if their time is short they grow attached.
Pattie: Before sunrise.
Jake: Pardon?
Pattie: you just described “Before sunrise” with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.
Jake: But they didn’t meet again. Not before 10 years later or something. That is just depressing.
Pattie: Writing a happy Hollywood movie?
Jake: Right. She may be too much of an intellectual, they don’t like to happy movies. They want some dose of depression.
Pattie: Do it like the Chinese.
Jake: Kill off the whole cast? That’s a bit radical.
Pattie: I prefer the Indian way.
Jake: Only slow dances in this one. Come on now, give me some real help.
Pattie: Liked you helped me meeting Mark Dunlop?
Jake: I was very supportive.
Pattie: Then why come we never went to those nightclubs in Hollywood?
Jake: I wouldn’t have got in.
Pattie: But I would.
Jake: And then you complain about me not going. Anyway, I am always to sober or to drunk when I am out.
Pattie: When were you to drunk?
Jake: When I were younger.

Next part would be "Scenarios", a humour part were I piss off people from all over the world by exposing their bad parts and show them in bad light. Someone may be shown in good light, but that would be purerly accidental.
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post #8 of 47 (permalink) Old December 8th, 2008, 18:13
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this is based on real events? lol
Annie reminds me of a granny
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post #9 of 47 (permalink) Old December 9th, 2008, 07:14 Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by agentpippo! View Post
this is based on real events? lol
Annie reminds me of a granny
In the future.
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post #10 of 47 (permalink) Old December 9th, 2008, 10:06
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You write good man. What is your occupation if you don't mind me asking?

Oh and this is totally a conversation between two swedes.

"Jake: And then you complain about me not going. Anyway, I am always to sober or to drunk when I am out."

It so is. p

Originally Posted by bernmilan1
play with BALLS people, BALLS!

Originally Posted by barracuda
Well it's a two horse race, with both horses facing the wrong way, "entertaining" us with primarily manure all season.
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post #11 of 47 (permalink) Old December 12th, 2008, 12:31 Thread Starter
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Scenarios
Scenario 1. Annie plays Laura, a bored American business woman with attachment issues. A friend bring her to Roma were she meets Toni (Antonio). Toni is a classic Italian lover boy (that happens to still live with his mother) that knows just what to say to women and look way too much on his mirror image.
Laura: Can you please bring me to plaza del femmina?
Toni: Si si, ma bella
’jumps up on scooter’
Toni: Toni is very good looking, yes?
Laura: Yes. You are not like those American men, they are so self obsessed.
Toni: It is because we have Mama to, as you say, “keep us on the ground”.

Scenario one probably scrapped. It wasn’t very romantic.

Scenario 2. Annie plays Hiti, a beautiful Eskimo girl gone astray and is lost in the wonderful Canadian wilderness were she meets Henry. Henry is a computer technician/alcoholist that tries to get sober in a remote hut. It will also take place in that hut as a snow storm cut them off from the rest of the world. For 12 days, lets call it “12 days” (is that taken? Otherwise add or decrease some day)

Hiti: This drink is really making me feel funny.
Henry: ‘hick’ It is good we found my uncle’s stash.
Hiti: your lips are so close to mine.
Henry: I also have my hand on your leg.
‘kiss each other’
Hiti: I wish we could stay here forever.
Henry: Me too, but we will run out of whisky.

Note: How do you write the accent of a drunk Eskimo?
Pattie note: How the hell did this become the second scenario?

Scenario 3. Annie plays Fatima, a Iraqi college student hunted haunted by math homework that meets Alec in Newcastle. Alec is a British soldier haunted by his home soccer team’s relegation to the third division.

Fatima: Guys in Iraq are not as sensitive as you Englishmen.
Alec: ‘cries’ Why did we sign Stan Collymore? Everyone knows he is an alcoholist.
Fatima: I think it is okay for men to cry.
Alec: And who did we have in defense?
Fatima: all this crying reminds me on my math homework.
Alec: Calculate our ****ing chances of promotion!
Fatima: You are hurting me!
Alec: Oh, I am sorry, I should let this go out over you.
‘they hug each other’

Finding each other in sorrow. That is so beautiful.

Scenario 4. Annie plays Davina, A middle age jewish woman conspiring to control the world. She meets Jonas, a middle aged Swedish leftist that fight against the establishment by smoking pot and going on protest marches. They meet in Stockholm as the world trade union has a meeting there. Unbeknownst that they are on opposite sides they fall in love.

Jonas: We practice free love in Sweden.
Davina: I love freedom and how you in Sweden are so free.
Jonas: Yeah. Oh Shit! The police, run!
Davina: This is so exciting, how come you are not married?
Jonas: I am only 47 you know.

I really like this one of two opposites in the middle of their life meeting. But wonder if Annie isn’t just too gorgeous to play middle aged…
Note: She should be the one to finally convince him that he should marry.

Scenario 5. Annie plays Isabella, a Spanish princess (that speaks English with a Spanish accent) that has sinned and confesses to Raul. Raul is a handsome priest of virtue, but also a childhood friend of Isabella. They meet in the chapel as she confesses.

Isabella: I have sinned father.
Raul: Isabella, is that you?
Isabella: Raul? Raul?
Raul: Yes, I mean please tell me of your sins.
Isabella: I will tell the whole story. It began as I was bathing and moved my hand over my very generous bosom, stroking it gently.
Raul: ‘gulp’ Please go on.
Isabella: My hands kept on searching further down. Slowly slowly, bit by bit. Tracing the contour of my belly. They seemed intent on a place, a secret forbidden place.
Raul: You can say it.

Pattie: You are picturing this in your mind right now.
Jake: Uh, what did you say?

Scenario 6. Annie plays the mentally impaired Miranda that meets Jack. Jack is a overly intelligent, but flimsy employee at her mental hospital that is beautifully set in some rural area. With flowers, many flowers.

Jack: I happened to find this flower on the way to your room.
Miranda: I like flowers.
Jack: It is a Zantedeschia Aethiopica, also known as a Calla Lily.
Miranda: I like flowers.
Jack: I like you Miranda.
Miranda: I like you.

I sense a Oscar in this one. She really deserve a Oscar. Or a couple of them.
Pattie: That’s not what I sense.

Scenario 7. Annie plays freewheelin’ Sally, a gangsta wannaby girl that meets Clay. Clay is a black quantum physics professor from a wealthy family. They meet as Clay take her into their home after she tried to spray graffiti on the 10 foot wall surrounding their mansion.

Sally: Look Clay, you have lost your heritage.
Clay: What do you mean?
Sally: Your brothers are out there, on the streets. Selling pot to minors and robbing stores. You are just denying who you are.
Clay: And who is that?
Sally: A real gangsta’, like me.

I like how they are seemingly worlds apart, but still are the same. Also I get respect for writing about a black man.
Pattie: Really?
Jake: I have black friends you know.
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post #12 of 47 (permalink) Old December 13th, 2008, 00:45
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Scenario 6 got me to think about Simply Jack from Tropic Thunder p

Originally Posted by bernmilan1
play with BALLS people, BALLS!

Originally Posted by barracuda
Well it's a two horse race, with both horses facing the wrong way, "entertaining" us with primarily manure all season.
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post #13 of 47 (permalink) Old December 15th, 2008, 09:13 Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by brickeberg View Post
Scenario 6 got me to think about Simply Jack from Tropic Thunder p
You never go full retard man.
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post #14 of 47 (permalink) Old December 15th, 2008, 13:20
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That was one of the best lines in the movie.

Originally Posted by bernmilan1
play with BALLS people, BALLS!

Originally Posted by barracuda
Well it's a two horse race, with both horses facing the wrong way, "entertaining" us with primarily manure all season.
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post #15 of 47 (permalink) Old December 16th, 2008, 13:12 Thread Starter
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Story decided
Two siblings looking at a screen in that crummy apartment.
Jake: Annie plays herself were she meets... Jason, a highly intelligent writer that piqued her interest with a story he wrote.
Pattie: you will really go for that one?
Jake: It is original.
Pattie: And crazy.
Jake: And crazy indeed, but a good kind of crazy.
Pattie: That’s just how I would describe you.
Jake: We should meet in New York.
Pattie: Why come?
Jake: I think that she coming here is stretching it a bit. A big bit.
Jake: Also, I have been there, I can describe it.
Pattie: That’s good, but you need to be able to describe her too.
Jake: That is easy, there is no limit to the nice big words I can use for her. Enchanting, alluring, dreamy, orgasmic.
Pattie: I’d skip that last one.
Jake: Heart-boiler, Silk-sweetness, Mind-blower, Devil-of-love, Face-to-build-a-dream-on, Lips-to-burn-my-head-off.
Pattie: Enough!
Jake: Cock-enlarger.
Pattie: I don’t need to hear this.
Jake: She will send me a e-mail. There she will say that she was intrigued by my letter and want me to come and discuss it.
Pattie: Discuss what?
Jake: The movie we will make.
Pattie: with you playing against her?
Jake: Why did I spontaneously begin to sweat?
Pattie: I’ll leave you to your fate now. Call me if you want to watch a movie or if you are flying to New York.
Jake: Maybe I should just call the character Jake and pretend my name is something else...

Letters
Jake sits at a cafe with his friend David.
David: How did that plan to get some celebrity ass go?
Jake: I was sure she would love my carefully crafted story. It was cute, witty and funny.
David: I applaud you for trying.
Jake: Or at least one out of those three.
David: I wouldn’t even dare send it.
Jake: But you are a natural with girls.
David: When I am drunk.
‘Jake nods’
Jake: I suspect she hasn’t even read it. It got stuck with some agent that didn’t even have time to check it out. Or thought I was some creepy stalker.
David: You are a creepy stalker.
Jake: Not true, I have not stalked and I am not creepy.
David: You even printed out her horoscope.
Jake: Just for fun.
David: You checked were her parents work. Stalker part fulfilled.
Jake: I really should learn to keep my mouth shut.
David: After one month you are already top poster at www.anniewenrock.com forum.
Jake: I used a fake name. It just the more I read about her, the more I feel we would be perfect together.
David: that was the creepy part. Creepy stalker ‘laughs’
Jake: But can you see the power in this story I wrote?
David: Yes. It is the fulfilment of a dream millions of fans share. And dreams sell.
Jake: Anyway, I am not someone that is normally starstruck.

Later Jake comes back home.

Hi Jake.

Miss Wenrock and we at Greedy agents agency have read your story and feel it has some potential. If you want to talk details please contact me Lana Lane on this address and we can talk particulars.

Sincerely
Lana Lane
Greedy Agents Agency (GAA)

Jake: Oh my GOD! This did just not happen. No way.
‘Jakes stares at the screen’
Jake: I better check the senders address to make sure Luke didn’t send this one.
Jake: It is genuine.
Jake: I need to work on my abs.
Jake: and fix my suit.
Jake: and write a perfect letter. Perfect letter.

Last edited by Johan; March 25th, 2009 at 17:24.
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post #16 of 47 (permalink) Old December 17th, 2008, 12:28 Thread Starter
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Is a little bit disappointed about this last piece, but is to lazy to rewrite now. Rewrites demand so much more energy than writing fresh.

Also, I began on a new story, which may mean delays. Jake may not meet his true love just yet. In fact she may marry before he do. Crap!
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post #17 of 47 (permalink) Old December 21st, 2008, 19:32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johan View Post
Jake: Heart-boiler, Silk-sweetness, Mind-blower, Devil-of-love, Face-to-build-a-dream-on, Lips-to-burn-my-head-off.
Pattie: Enough!
Jake: Cock-enlarger.

Originally Posted by bernmilan1
play with BALLS people, BALLS!

Originally Posted by barracuda
Well it's a two horse race, with both horses facing the wrong way, "entertaining" us with primarily manure all season.
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post #18 of 47 (permalink) Old December 24th, 2008, 10:40 Thread Starter
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So Jake have written and sent a story. A story about "Ben" and "Anne". Now he is up to go and meet his love, which will most likely end in disaster. Because he talks to much, say all to many things he shouldn't say. Hopefully he skips calling her something like heat-amplifier or heart-blower. Maybe the jokes are toned down, after all, this is serious romance stuff. Good thing about Swedish winter, we can see stars almost 24/7.

Travel interlude.
Jake sits on a plane on the way to the big apple. Next to him sits a young man.

Jake: Hi there, I am Jake.
Jim: Hi, I am Jim.
Jake: Why are you going to the big apple for?
Jim: Oh, I am going to a convention.
Jake: What kind of convention.
‘Jim looks behind his back’
Jim: Star trek convention.
Jake: Gonna dress up and meet some girls I reckon.
Jim: Hehe, girls...
Jake: No girls around? I mean you must admire a girl that dresses up for Star Trek.
Jim: What do you mean?
Jake: I mean she can’t possibly care what others think.
Jim: We have this girl Kate, I would easily exchange my original Spock action figure for her.
Jake: She sound nice.
Jim: Yeah, she usually plays a female android trying to understand the human race.
Jake: I can’t see her finding any success on that front. You should be Kirk, he gets all the girls.
Jim: I will be Spock.
Jake: Oh.
Jim: What are you going to New York for?
Jake: I am going to meet my dream girl, fall in love, marry and live happily until we die. Preferably in that order.
Jim: Someone you met on the ‘net?
Jake: You could say that.
Jim: She is probably a guy!
Jake: That thing happened to you?
Jim: Don’t ask!
Jake: Is it wrong that I just became more interested when you told me not to ask?
Jim: It was this elven lass in world of warcraft, she... Wait, I am not going to tell you this!
Jake: Good times. I remember when I played the female archer in Diablo. Guys hit on me all the time, they eve gave me things for no reason whatsoever.
Jim: I remember that. Sometimes I play female because I prefer to stare at their ass.
‘Jake stares at Jim’
Jake: Anyway, I met several girls I knew over the net. Most of them were actually stunning.
Jim: Wow!
Jake: But knowing someone over the net and actually meeting is two very different things.
Jim: Trust me, I know.
Jake: Yeah, right. How did he look like?
Jim: More hairy than the elven lass.
Jake: You should have told him to shave, everything.
Jim: Kate should like me, I am a nice guy.
Jake: That doesn’t help.
Jim: I just don’t dare speak to girls.
Jake: That helps even less.
Jim: What do help?
Jake: Just talk to them, be interesting instead of interested to begin with.
Jim: How did you meet this girl?
Jake: I wrote her a letter.
Jim: Oh, but which site did you find her on?
Jake: Ehum, eh. I mean at some forum I found her.
Jim: I hope all will go well for you.
Jake: Thanks!

How I met you
At a high class restaurant Jake nervously sit at a table, waiting... He got all his papers with him, neatly sorted... on each other like a true professional. Ehum.

Annie: Hi, you must be Jake.
‘ Jake stands up and stares for a moment, dumbfounded’
Jake: Hi, yes that is me.
Annie: Have you ordered anything?
Jake: Nope, I mean no.
‘They both sit down’
Annie: I see you have a copy of what you wrote there.
Jake: I see....
Annie: What? Mmm, am I making you uneasy?
Jake: That is not the word I would have chosen.
Annie: you are a writer, what word would you use.
Jake: Dumb. You are making me dumb.
‘Annie laughs’
Jake: It is by now I regret I didn’t drink myself silly while I waited.
Annie: You think that would made you more intelligent?
Jake: I guess that is true, it doesn’t work that well on that department.
Annie: Otherwise I may have believed you wrote this piece while drunk.
Jake: I think it could very well have been the case.
Annie: I did find it well written, real funny piece.
Jake: Not romantic? I knew I should have written in a slow dance and a full moon.
Annie: Well kind of, in a charming and weird way.
Jake thinks: Such a horribly accurate way of describing me.
Jake: I see I have to put in more romance though. Subtle and more charming than weird.
Annie: this character Ben, is he anything like you then?
Jake: You always take some part of you into a character you write. I wrote it quite a bit like in how I would like these things to happen. Romance, fall in love, talk about life.
Annie: Fall in love with me. ‘smiles’
Jake: Did you like Ben?
Annie: I see where you are going with this one.
Jake: I heard you gone into making your own movies, would you like to write them too?
Annie: I would.
Jake: About what?
Annie: People, relations.
Jake: In essence pretty much all stories are about that, in one way or the other.
Annie: I was thinking more as their focus.
Jake: I know, just saying is what I am saying.
Annie: Seems you are not dumb anymore, did you drink something while I did not look?
Jake: I did drink in your eyes.
Annie: So you mission is to charm me after all.
Jake: In that case I would had said something different.
Annie: Like what?
Jake: Crap, I had not prepared an answer for that one. Wait. “Whatcha wearin’?” I learned that one from a true virtuoso of charming women.
Annie: You find that question appropriate?
Jake: Actually I am supposed to ask that over the phone or the Internet, I just realised I could see what you were wearing. My power of perception is truly amazing.
Annie: Only outdone by your impeccable pick up lines.
Jake: I personally like “you make me dumb”. That one I will use again.
Annie: Will fit perfectly into your story.
Jake: What pick up line would you use?
Annie: I don’t really need pick up lines.
Jake: I guess mine are better then, horrible as they are.
Annie: I can’t accept that.
Jake: You got to come up with one.
Annie: Have you ever had a movie kiss?
Jake: You won.
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post #19 of 47 (permalink) Old December 24th, 2008, 21:08
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She doesnt look like Julia Roberts right? Please tell me she doesnt.

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post #20 of 47 (permalink) Old December 25th, 2008, 01:57 Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Osman View Post
She doesnt look like Julia Roberts right? Please tell me she doesnt.
That was not what i had in mind, but it hardly matters. I am pretty light on the descriptions here, you have to fill that up yourself.

Seemingly I already covered this in what I wrote guys never like Julia! Soon MarieL is here to defend her!

Last edited by Johan; December 28th, 2008 at 16:29.
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