A very silly short story I wrote recently - Xtratime Community
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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old March 26th, 2008, 05:58 Thread Starter
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A very silly short story I wrote recently

As the night progresses and grows deeper, gradually the lights which so illuminated the hallways and corridors are shut down. At around 10 or 11, light is extinguished for the most part. It was fortunate for our vampire, yes our vampire, yes our vampire, yes our vampire, for as long as he kept a fair distance away from the nurses which seemed to him as imposing guards, he was likely to avoid detection. They were accustomed to the sight of patients taking occasional night time strolls.

It was inevitably going to be a dangerous mission, however. His [hopefully for him] ultimate destination was a seemingly important room which was passed through and back at regular intervals. This room was locked, although he had been given a set of keys to gain him entrance.

With much stopping and starting, eventually he was faced with the door in question. With at first trembling fingers that was soon replaced with a firmer resolve, he inserted the keys and twisted, a satisfying and pronounced *click!* could be heard. He pushed the door open, onwards.

It was a small room. A fridge stood at the back, to the left. It was to this that he headed, that they only expected authorised personnel to access this space, the door opened easily. Inside was rows and rows of blood samples. Perusing the labels which affixed the tubes, he plucked the tubes which were appropriate for his goal.

Noises from behind. He swung his head backwards, no not like that possessed girl from the Exorcist, I just made a mistake. He swivelled his head sideways. Footsteps and voices were close. He was not panicking, though.

The disturbance turned out to be two nurses working the night shift, their chatter occupying their time, filling the challenging hours which were so often spent quietly. Looking ahead, they noticed the door was open. Puzzled expressions formed on their respective faces. This feeling intensified still further when a frantic flying shape emerged from within. They were so startled they couldn't easily compose their thoughts and judge what animal it was. It was a bat.

A bat doesn't see as a human does [or indeed a vampire], using echolocation, squeaks which make out the shapes of objects, the outlines. This sudden switch was easy to adapt to, though, for it wasn't the first transformation of this kind for our fanged friend. Well perhaps he's not out friend, but there's something cute and charming about the sound of "fanged friend".

This version is stale and doesn't hold the personality of the original.

*

Let us shift locations, the one similarity is that this place we now found ourselves in was drenched in darkness. "This place" being Lauren's bedroom. She was sound asleep. Her sleep was soon to be interrupted, though. It was necessary for him to show himself at this quiet hour so as to avoid any suspicion, for him and for Lauren.

He tried his best to keep his movements quiet, alas Lauren was a light sleeper and found her unconsciousness interrupted by this new presence. She wasn't startled by the figure in her room, for she was used to this happening. Rubbing her eyes as he set the tube on her bedside table, she muttered "thanks..."

As mentioned, despite this being the first part and nothing has come before it, Lauren occupied a responsible position within the Alfred. Needless to say, if she was caught snagging blood samples, her job would be under threat. Also, Lauren was a good person and didn't want to ensure her survival at the expense of the lives of others. She regretted that her friend had to sacrifice so much for her, still he was willing and ready.

Lauren was feeling rather weak, so she hastened to consume what had been provided to her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chatbox Ana
let me give u a lil love

Last edited by Jeffrey; March 31st, 2008 at 10:14.
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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old March 26th, 2008, 11:33
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old March 26th, 2008, 14:13
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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old March 26th, 2008, 14:25
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the bumbling bloodsucker is about to become a patient in this hospital it seems.




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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old March 27th, 2008, 17:19
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why doesn't he just turn into a bat and fly where he needs to go? That's what I would do.

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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old March 27th, 2008, 17:41 Thread Starter
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Could you guys finish it? I don't know what to do now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chatbox Ana
let me give u a lil love
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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old March 27th, 2008, 18:38
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You invented a new way to write a story Jeff

I dont think the correct blood type is what the vampire needs at most, but a session with Dr Phil.

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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old March 27th, 2008, 18:47
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You invented a new way to write a story Jeff

I dont think the correct blood type is what the vampire needs at most, but a session with Dr Phil.
Imagine how many people would watch that. Cause you know Phil would really dig into him. "You have to change your life, you have to act now, before it's too late etc." Everyone watching in suspense. And then the vampire would start to cry.

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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old March 27th, 2008, 21:03
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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old March 28th, 2008, 03:06
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Jeff, you can't just stop. We need to know what happens next.

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post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old March 28th, 2008, 04:53 Thread Starter
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Jeff retracted his pen and sighed. He had been writing a short story, the exercise book placed onto a convenient table which you can adjust freely to your will. He had discovered writers block. He hoped to return to it later, however. At that time a nurse entered, wheeling in a tall structure thing [eh?] which displayed a medium-sized monitor. Various cords were protruding from it to be used in recording the temperature of the patient, as well as blood pressure and oxygen levels.

"Hello young Jeffrey," she declared as she appeared. Jeff sighed inwardly - she meant well but her words and tone tended to aggravate. Smiling ruefully, he responded, "hello." "Just going to do your ops, OOOOOOK?" "Sure."

Jeff straightened his arm as he had noticed the nurse grasping that thing which is wrapped around your arm then tightened, the blood pressure recording thingy. I think that's the official name. He then retracted his arm, however, as she was on the left side of his bed and it wouldn't do for her to reach over to his right arm. The action was performed and it was at the usual level - low by the standards of a healthy person, but Jeff was used to it. It hovered around 90. "Good," the nurse said.

Then came the reading of the temperature. This could be a bit difficult as there are two methods of varying success, although I'm not sure which is preferable. One involves the placement of a short stick beneath the tongue, the other is inserted into the ear. The ear is easier for me, although I'm not sure how the nurses feel about it. When the probe is inserted beneath your tongue, it can get uncomfortable when the nurse in question doesn't taste immediate success. Jab jab jab, urgh.

On this occasion, under the tongue. The writer opted for this as I feel it's more interesting for you, the reader. Although I feel it's a mite presumptuous of me to refer to these proceedings as interesting.

I was wearing the oxygen mask rather than the nasal prongs. I think it would of been easier for both of us if I'd been donning the latter - instead I inclined the mask slightly away from my face so as the stick could reach inside my mouth. The seconds drew on as the stick/probe/thingy shifted about. The seconds drew on, I felt increasingly desperate. Finally there was a gratifying "beep!" and the nurse once more responded with "good," I wonder if she was pleased as the tedium was relieved or my temp was acceptable. Maybe both, my temperature is rarely too high.

She returned her equipment to a small white basket which made up part of the tall structure thingy. Just then she noticed the small book I'd been writing into. For a few seconds she glanced at my writings. "You should be a writer!" she exclaimed. As usual I smiled and shook my head vigorously.

Er. To be continued.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chatbox Ana
let me give u a lil love
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post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old March 28th, 2008, 15:19
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I don't trust that nurse. I think she is the vampire.

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post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old March 28th, 2008, 15:28
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is this inspired by Tristan Shandy, are you going to be born in a minute?




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post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old March 29th, 2008, 06:15 Thread Starter
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I'm not familiar with Shandy's work.

*

That night Jeff could be found pacing in the corridor outside of his room. It was one of his most common routines - up and down, up and down, pacing slowly up and down. Once a nurse had commented to him that he must be bored, but Jeff denied it, and truthfully so - it was pleasant enough and it's easy to keep your mind occupied, letting your thoughts engulf you.

Also, what adorns the walls provides enough interest. When Jeff would turn to the right, you could see a beautiful photograph taken of a waterfall surrounded by lush greenery, a rainforest. On the other side of the corridor stood a large counter and desk which staffers worked at. To the far left of the counter were a basket full of chocolates, priced at a dollar each. All proceeds would go towards an impoverished boy who the Alfred sponsored.

Behind the counter and desk was an enclosed workspace which patients were prohibited from entering to, of course. In the back to the far left once more was a copy machine which was often broken. It was not an uncommon site to see nurses banging on it with much irritation. With gay abandon a nurse asked Jeff if he could fix it. Jeff's face was lit up by a wide smile, as he continued on his progress he threw his arms up helplessly.

Back to this workspace. To the back, the far right, a small opening which employees would walk through. Even if you looked deliberately attempting to get a good view as to what's inside, the eye's findings were never inclusive. Processions through this open space were especially active at around 9:30pm when the nurses working the afternoon/evening/night shift would transfer over to the night shift workers. It was around this time that we find Jeff pacing.

The nurses and various staffers were offering much chatter, so much so that the words blend together, nothing distinct. Nurses that Jeff was especially familiar with would bid him farewell for the day, passing by him as they walked to the left. To the left a medium-sized door could be observed, at the end of the corridor. This was the beginning of their trek back home.

The author is unsure of where to take this. Should we follow a nurse's progress back home or perhaps grant a sneak peek into that discreet room we mentioned in the workplace zone? I'm now recalling certain series in which you would turn to page 73 for one cause of action, or page 44 for another. Please let my mind settle on what provokes the most ideas. Or heck, you can contribute your thoughts on the matter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chatbox Ana
let me give u a lil love
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post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old March 29th, 2008, 14:17
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no you finish it ... we will only prod you along

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post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old March 29th, 2008, 14:20
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I think Jeff will turn out to be the vampire. I don't trust that smug character.

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post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old March 29th, 2008, 14:28
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oh yes the vampire, I remember something about him from chapter one?




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post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old March 29th, 2008, 15:13
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IOr heck, you can contribute your thoughts on the matter.
Don't you love it when Jeff says things like that? It's kind of like Lionel Messi asking me to finish a dribbling run at the goal for him.

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post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old March 29th, 2008, 20:07 Thread Starter
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Let us follow the progress of three nurses who chatted amiably which so comes from the time of day when you're winding down. Amiably isn't the perfect word I feel, I can imagine in my head their expressions, their body movements, how they exchanged these words which you'd presume would be some of their last for the day before they shut down completely. Was the exchange loose? That may be it, that may be the word.

We've now reached the door I mentioned [think so] which was at the end of the hall to the left of Jeff's room. They opened it and a stairway was revealed to our mental eyes. The colours were unsurprisingly drab, but I doubt they dwelt too heavily on this - one nurse had expressed to me that on certain days, the work is hectic and demanding, and towards the completion of your duties, you just want out of there!

They descended. The chatter was quieter now, more scattered. Eventually they finished their descent, their feet finding a flat surface. Again they were faced with a door, which they opened once more. More drab colours, this time the gray which was present on all the surfaces which comprised the underground car park. Bidding their farewells, they walked off into different directions towards their cars.

OK, I have a list of nurses, a handful of nurses that I'm especially familiar with. I'm opting for Lauren who's a very nice woman with fair hair, tied into a bun. Let's give her a charming vehicle, shall we? One of those sleek newer generation Volkswagen Beetles. Silver. Wait no, let's make it a cuter colour than that. It shall be yellow. Yes. So, Lauren took out a small handheld device from her handbag, pressing a button which was so small I can't give much of a description. A noise... and the door was unlocked. She stepped in.

Placing her handbag on the seat beside her, she patiently arranged all that she needed, namely the car keys. In a few seconds the engine sounded, not fearsome but not meek, a solid and consistent sound, or so I imagine. I can't recall hearing what these cars sound like at this point. No research, I only like these cars due to image. I'm not a car person.

So yes, she left, her car leaving the workplace. She occupied a prominent position of the respiratory ward, not only acting out her duties as a nurse, she also had responsibilities to organise the troops, so she was quite tired. It was quite a short drive from the Alfred to her home. On the way she admired the site of the night lights illuminating the trees which were adorned with leaves of a light green.

Pulling into the driveway of her home, she sat patiently for some movements without doing anything. Then she tapped her fingers against the steering wheel. "Well," she said tonelessly, "whatever are you going to do next?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chatbox Ana
let me give u a lil love

Last edited by Jeffrey; March 29th, 2008 at 20:16.
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post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old March 29th, 2008, 21:09
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more! more!

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Nel cielo biancazzurro brilla un'altra stella - In the lightblue sky another star shines. Alija tu non sarai mai sola. Alija you will never be alone.
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