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post #1 of 79 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 12:09 Thread Starter
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Summit Work Thread

The idea of this thread is to share each others own poem's and stories / lyrics(however long or short) they have been working on.

Due to the medium of this thread it can establish diversity and exacerbate different cultures and writing style of each particular member: shades:

You may write in your own dialect or preferably English.

and please do feel free to praise/criticize other submissions , mainly due to the fact that is the way many people learn and evolve

Lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he's gonna wanna see a ****ing cross, man?
Bill Hicks

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Last edited by fieldy; August 4th, 2005 at 14:21.
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post #2 of 79 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 12:11 Thread Starter
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its ownly short and took me 15 minuets to write but basically the idea beind this story , is how suddeny somone can be full of life and then lifeless

Higher then Reason

It makes me weak when I think about you and, you’re slipping through my hands like a grain of sand. I try to clench my fist but it’s in vain and the inventible will happen, I will lose the grip and stranglehold of you and you will float away like a childhood dream.

I stump my cigarette on the floor and turn to see the softly spoken sapphire eyes, so gentle, so loving, with the piercing effect of a knife.

So contradictory, so beautiful

Peaches had a expression of valentine’s day in her face which complemented her eyes and red rose lips.

She gracefully hovered to me, like my guardian angel and there beyond the realm of time. Through the emotion of a breathing living creature and the shrieks of pain came a bullet which opened a hole into her neck , yet I knew this hole wouldn’t close nor would the one now created in my heart.

Lifeless and I have a stomach of butterflies and deep sinister regret

Now I’m lifeless as a bullet crawls through my skull

I couldn’t wish for a better ending , at least now death will not do us part and we can stand still in eternity laughing , peaceful for ever

I guess this is higher than reason but that day was the most beautiful of my life.

Lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he's gonna wanna see a ****ing cross, man?
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post #3 of 79 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 14:12
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I like the way you write. Can´t really explain why, but it seems to me that it´s the stream of thoughts, if you understand what I mean .

I´m gonna post something of mine as well. I have some lyrics that I´ve written for my band...

GLUBB

"Unsre Liebe unser Leiden unser ganzer Stolz bist du! Wir werden niemals untergehn wir werden immer zu dir stehn unsre Fahnen sie wehen auch wenn du mal verlierst, allez allez, Nürnberg allez......"
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post #4 of 79 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 14:22 Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by audiollama
I like the way you write. Can´t really explain why, but it seems to me that it´s the stream of thoughts, if you understand what I mean .

I´m gonna post something of mine as well. I have some lyrics that I´ve written for my band...
I'm looking forward to it is casualhifi yor band name?

Lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he's gonna wanna see a ****ing cross, man?
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HOT GIRLS IN CHARLTON FORUM!!

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post #5 of 79 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 16:19
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Yes, that´s the name of our band. Casual Hi-Fi.
Well, as I see these lyrics in front of me on the computer, I notice that they sound better when they´re sung by our singer but have a read... here´s one of my last three lyrics. Maybe I´ll post one more tomorow ... if you want to read more



let it enfold you


pitch dark outside, 4 a.m., the record is playing
but the music is out
you say that you´re scared but you can´t really tell what it is
you wonder: “is this really me? Or am I just freaking out (here) ?
but hey, that´s the way it is, we´re all just one, one with the freaks inside ourselves


what else do we need now?
is it peace or happiness?
now let it enfold you, my dear



everyone´s hiding, focusing the contours of a world that
they don´t understand
and so we crawl inside, watch the storm swirling on the outside,
(it´s a beautiful look)
´cause beyond any experience we´re (still) allowed to retreat
into bags of purity & grace


what else do we need now?
is it peace or happiness?
now let it enfold you, my dear


now come on, we´re not looking for a northwest passage
it´s just the fear of not being able to cope with the pressure…
the fear of falling… of falling away

and you just don´t want to end up in oblivion, well I tell you
that won´t happen, that won´t, everything will turn out right
sometimes it´s good to be lost
if you feel lost that´s ok
if you feel lost that´s ok

GLUBB

"Unsre Liebe unser Leiden unser ganzer Stolz bist du! Wir werden niemals untergehn wir werden immer zu dir stehn unsre Fahnen sie wehen auch wenn du mal verlierst, allez allez, Nürnberg allez......"
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post #6 of 79 (permalink) Old August 4th, 2005, 19:37 Thread Starter
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the lyrics sound good...and i tried siging them
Quote:
and you just don´t want to end up in oblivion, well I tell you that won´t happen, that won´t, everything will turn out right
sometimes it´s good to be lost
if you feel lost that´s ok
if you feel lost that´s ok
it sounds like a dark , broody rock song wheas i like the uplifting message at the end of it , because it almost describes us the puppet people and were lost on our paths but it doesn't matter because everythings going to be alright



Quote:
everyone´s hiding, focusing the contours of a world that
they don´t understand
and so we crawl inside, watch the storm swirling on the outside,
(it´s a beautiful look)
´cause beyond any experience we´re (still) allowed to retreat
into bags of purity & grace
i'll have to say this is my favourite line which was the most descriptive and imaginitive and the paragraph is dark and mysterious while conveying a message in how we turn our backs and hide against dangers and dont take risks yet its beautiful /natural

i like the words and overall message you use ...to be honest i was hoping it was rubbish so i could give some contructive criticism but it wasn't p

i'm sorry if i have the wrong interpretation i wonder what the song actually sounds like

Lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he's gonna wanna see a ****ing cross, man?
Bill Hicks

HOT GIRLS IN CHARLTON FORUM!!

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post #7 of 79 (permalink) Old August 5th, 2005, 10:25
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hey, thanks. It´s good to hear that you like what I´ve written.


Quote:
Originally Posted by fieldy
i'm sorry if i have the wrong interpretation i wonder what the song actually sounds like
no, your interpretation is quite good, I like it. It just sums up what I had in mind when I wrote it. especially that one ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by fieldy
... conveying a message in how we turn our backs and hide against dangers and dont take risks yet its beautiful /natural

The song is quite upbeat, straight forward. Not so dark as you maybe expect. A bit like The Strokes mixed with Coldplay and a female voice. As the song is rather new, we haven´t recorded that one yet. I´m gonna type one lyric in here that we have recorded, if you´re interested.

GLUBB

"Unsre Liebe unser Leiden unser ganzer Stolz bist du! Wir werden niemals untergehn wir werden immer zu dir stehn unsre Fahnen sie wehen auch wenn du mal verlierst, allez allez, Nürnberg allez......"
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post #8 of 79 (permalink) Old August 5th, 2005, 11:39 Thread Starter
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that would be awsome :thmbup:

Lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he's gonna wanna see a ****ing cross, man?
Bill Hicks

HOT GIRLS IN CHARLTON FORUM!!

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post #9 of 79 (permalink) Old August 5th, 2005, 12:50
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Nice lyrics, audiollama..
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post #10 of 79 (permalink) Old August 5th, 2005, 17:12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Viola
Nice lyrics, audiollama..
thank you

GLUBB

"Unsre Liebe unser Leiden unser ganzer Stolz bist du! Wir werden niemals untergehn wir werden immer zu dir stehn unsre Fahnen sie wehen auch wenn du mal verlierst, allez allez, Nürnberg allez......"
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post #11 of 79 (permalink) Old August 6th, 2005, 13:42
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So, here´s another one of my lyrics. It´s got a bit of the same idea behind it as the last one. I was thinking about what is predestinated in life and what not...


(this is a) punch-drunk story



we´re roaming like comets, we´re strolling back and forth
(this is a punch-drunk story for everyone)
think I have to be intoxicated, but I don´t believe in drugs
´cause they don´t work

everything we NEVER do is caused through accidents
(this is a punch-drunk story for everyone)
and everything we EVER do is caused through an accident
yesterdays accidents are tomorrows accidents, too

I´m not moving backwards
but it ain´t forward either
we just have to slow down
slow down, slow down


there are things that I´m afraid of
(this is a punch-drunk story for everyone)
it´s the compromised lives we recognize as our own
well, they ****ing scare me

everything´s been said and written down
(this is a punch-drunk story for everyone)
and some stories are not vaster than empires
but even the little ones have to be re-written again

I´m not moving backwards
but it ain´t forward either
we just have to slow down
slow down, slow down


this is a punch-drunk story for everyone
(progress is science)
this is a punch-drunk story for everyone
(when will we ever learn)
this is a ****ing punch-drunk story
(it´s not that easy)
this is a big ****ing punch-drunk
punch-drunk story for everyone

GLUBB

"Unsre Liebe unser Leiden unser ganzer Stolz bist du! Wir werden niemals untergehn wir werden immer zu dir stehn unsre Fahnen sie wehen auch wenn du mal verlierst, allez allez, Nürnberg allez......"
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post #12 of 79 (permalink) Old August 6th, 2005, 15:25
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Quote:
it´s the compromised lives we recognize as our own
Good one, audiollama

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post #13 of 79 (permalink) Old August 8th, 2005, 18:47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonita
Good one, audiollama
:embarass: thanks

GLUBB

"Unsre Liebe unser Leiden unser ganzer Stolz bist du! Wir werden niemals untergehn wir werden immer zu dir stehn unsre Fahnen sie wehen auch wenn du mal verlierst, allez allez, Nürnberg allez......"
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post #14 of 79 (permalink) Old August 9th, 2005, 10:18 Thread Starter
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Audiolallama ..your'e lyrics struck a cord with me , i think it's because im 18 and im not sure what to do with my life and if it's meaningless or meanigful

Quote:
everything´s been said and written down
(this is a punch-drunk story for everyone)
and some stories are not vaster than empires
but even the little ones have to be re-written again
this is my favourite verse...i idea of a pre determined destiny which relates o everyone yet it can be changed or not

Quote:
I´m not moving backwards
but it ain´t forward either
we just have to slow down
slow down, slow down
i particulary like this one , wheas it signifies that all we are doing in life is drifting , not recedding or going anywhere but just drifting

Quote:
everything we NEVER do is caused through accidents
(this is a punch-drunk story for everyone)
and everything we EVER do is caused through an accident
yesterdays accidents are tomorrows accidents, too
i could be wrong but ..is this when things happen that you dont expect ..cause thats happen to me many atime but when you expect something to happen nothing materilizes ..so everything good in youre life seems like an accident

anyways ...another set of quality lyrics..and if was rubbish i would criticizebut its too damn good

Lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he's gonna wanna see a ****ing cross, man?
Bill Hicks

HOT GIRLS IN CHARLTON FORUM!!

Abuse other teams in the charlton forum - no holds barred
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post #15 of 79 (permalink) Old August 10th, 2005, 01:23
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Very enjoyable.
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post #16 of 79 (permalink) Old August 10th, 2005, 14:14 Thread Starter
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Ive Got a cartoon script i wrote last night and it's a first draft but i'm not sure if i'm going to post it as it deals with religion and morality
It's more of an intellectural cartoon script aimed at adults and may offend some people on Xtratime

The puppet People

P.m - if you want to read it

Lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he's gonna wanna see a ****ing cross, man?
Bill Hicks

HOT GIRLS IN CHARLTON FORUM!!

Abuse other teams in the charlton forum - no holds barred

Last edited by fieldy; August 10th, 2005 at 14:22.
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post #17 of 79 (permalink) Old August 11th, 2005, 12:50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fieldy
Audiolallama ..your'e lyrics struck a cord with me , i think it's because im 18 and im not sure what to do with my life and if it's meaningless or meanigful


this is my favourite verse...i idea of a pre determined destiny which relates o everyone yet it can be changed or not


i particulary like this one , wheas it signifies that all we are doing in life is drifting , not recedding or going anywhere but just drifting


i could be wrong but ..is this when things happen that you dont expect ..cause thats happen to me many atime but when you expect something to happen nothing materilizes ..so everything good in youre life seems like an accident

anyways ...another set of quality lyrics..and if was rubbish i would criticizebut its too damn good
Hey fieldy,

I really like the way how you interpret my lyrics. The last one ... and also the one before. It´s always good when someone says that these lines struck a chord with him.

Thanks. You´ve also got a pm.

And also thanks to Zangari_Italia

GLUBB

"Unsre Liebe unser Leiden unser ganzer Stolz bist du! Wir werden niemals untergehn wir werden immer zu dir stehn unsre Fahnen sie wehen auch wenn du mal verlierst, allez allez, Nürnberg allez......"
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post #18 of 79 (permalink) Old August 12th, 2005, 16:49
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Here's a poem I found that I wrote for a class in grade 10. Some slightly annoying repitition but I like it. Oddly enough I think it is one of the few works I have done that has a title, that didn't require one.

In the Painter's Eye

Gone now,
Forever gone.
The man,
the house.
the sky,
The waving of the grass.
The meadow,
The path,
Gone now,
Forever gone,
Yet in that moment of perfection,
A painter's eye,
caught and grasped it.
wrestled with it,
interpreted it.
and created it anew,
It is gone now,
But it exists forever,
In the Painter's Eye.
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post #19 of 79 (permalink) Old August 12th, 2005, 19:55 Thread Starter
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hey zangari ...its become annoying now that its been 17 replies and still no bad pieces of work which we can humilate and criticize

your poem is simple but i think it's nicely written , short and sweet ...and forgoes a message which is undoubtly true

Quote:
Gone now,Forever gone.The man, the house.the sky, The waving of the grass.The meadow, The path,
~

i like how you set up the picture of this painter's viewpoint and i like the waving of the grass , as it's an image i wanted to see many atime whenever i was on top of a mountain ( a small british one) its what i always wanted to see when i looked down and climbed up

Quote:
Gone now,
Forever gone,
Yet in that moment of perfection,
A painter's eye,
caught and grasped it.
wrestled with it,
interpreted it.
and created it anew,
It is gone now,
But it exists forever,
In the Painter's Eye.
and i like how you poetically put across that even though that moment will change it will always stay in the mind of the painter
just like in a song i like


....swim across the swamp to the other side
run until you're out of breath
and when you look back they'll be nothing left
but a memory fading quickly

however the painter interpretates it into his artistic vision

even though i liked it i wouldnt put it in the poem of the day thread
but i did like it

Lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he's gonna wanna see a ****ing cross, man?
Bill Hicks

HOT GIRLS IN CHARLTON FORUM!!

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post #20 of 79 (permalink) Old August 12th, 2005, 20:06 Thread Starter
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I´m not moving backwards
but it ain´t forward either
we just have to slow down
slow down, slow down

in reply to your pm audiollama concerning punch drunk love story

i forgot to add this is the most beautiful part of the song which is really well sung and written

Lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he's gonna wanna see a ****ing cross, man?
Bill Hicks

HOT GIRLS IN CHARLTON FORUM!!

Abuse other teams in the charlton forum - no holds barred
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