Go in here and LAUGH @ this!!

[xtc]

Here are ENG and BG translation. Very funny stories, guys. Read them. :)

From E-goist Magazine :star:

After the lack of succed of the first BG House, the Bulgarians decided to make a second try. For this expermiment we got the Second BG House. :proud: :rolleyes: So the BG ppl didn't want to repeat the mistakes from the First BG House, so the decided to choose their Czars VERY and EXTREMLY carefully So, here we go:

Asen and Petar
Asen and Petar were brothers, just like Henzel and Grettel *do you remember those little kids?*. Their father was a woodman and their mother was *their second mother* (on Bg "masteha"). Once their father decided to get them in the wood and he left them alone there. In the wood the brothers met an old woman, who gave them food. And they, of course were so kind, didn't want to be bound and wanted to make sth good for her, so they just puted her in her big oven. When the Bg citizens learned about this, they liked the brothers very much and choosed them as BG Czars.

Ivanko
Ivanko had humble criminal inclinations. Once he even murdered Asen. This fact, the BG citizens liked very much and they choosed him as a BG Czar.

Kalojan
Kalojan was a very talented kid. He liked to learn foreign languages. He talked with his horses on German. With his hens on French. With the sheeps on English... With the Bg citizens he didn't talk at all. The Bg citizens liked this very much and choosed him as a BG Czar.

Ivan-Asen
Ivan-Asen had obvioulsy two names. That's why the Bg citizens was divided on two fighting groups - the one that supported Ivan and the other one - Asen, evidently. They liked this very much (to fight each other), so they choosed Ivan-Asen as a Bg Czar.

Konsantin the Silent
Konstantin the Silent was lame. Besides this he was deaf. Man called him "the Silent", cuz he was dumb. Actually and obviously he was very stupid. The Bg citizens liked this very much and they choosed him as a BG Czar immediately. :howler: :dielaugh:

Ivailo
Ivailo was a good guy, who loved the pigs. He was a pig-man (a man who cares for the pigs). The pigs loved him very much, cuz he cared very well for them. The Bg citizens like this very much, so they choosed him as a BG Czar. :rolleyes:

Ivan Shishman
Ivan Shishman was the last Bg Czar before the under-Turkish-slavery-period. The Bg citizens had no patience. They celebrated much, cuz they knew that he'll be the last Czar. So, Ivan Shishman didn't disappoint them and justified their trust and left as "the last one".
In the next 500 years The Bg citizens stopped to choose their Czars, only sultans :rolleyes: And actually they didn't choose them exactly.

At least that's what the history says.

Enjoy, fellows.


Here is the BG translation anyway:

Form E-goist Magazine :star:

Za BG Tzarete

Sled neuspe6niq opit s Pyrvoto BG Tzarstvo, bylgarite re6ili da napravqt vtori opit. Ot tozi opit se polu4ilo Vtoroto BG Tzarstvo. Za da ne povtarqt predi6nite gre6ki, bylgarite re6ili staratelno da podbirat svoite Tzare. Etko kak e stanalo v ob6ti linii tova.

* Asen i Petar
Asen i Petar bili bratq po primera na Henzel i Gretel. Ba6ta im bil dyrvar, a maika im bila ma6teha. Vednyj ba6ta im gi zavel v gorata i gi izostavil. tam te sre6tnali edna stara jena, koqto gi nahranila. Te, za da ne i ostanali dlyjni, q zavrqli vav furnata. Kato nau4ili tova, bylgarite mnogo gi haresali i gi izbrali za svoi tzare.

* Ivanko
Ivanko bil s prestypni naklonnosti. Vednyj dori ubil Asen. Tova mnogo se haresalo na bylgarite i te vednaga go izbrali za svoi tzar.

* Kaloqn
Kaloqn ot malyk obi4al da u4i 4ujdi ezici. Govoril na nemski samo s konete si. S koko6kite govorel samo na frenski. S ovcete govorel na angliiski. S bylgarite vyob6te ne razgovarql, koeto na tqh im dopadalo. Zatova i go izbrali za svoi tzar.

* Ivan-Asen
Ivan-Asen imal, kakto se vijda, dve imena. Zatova i bylgarite bili razdeleni na dva vrajduva6ti lagera - ednite mu vikali Ivan, a drugite - Asen. Tova mnogo im haresvalo i zatova Ivan-Asen bil izbran za Tzar.

* Konstantin Tih
Konstantin Tih bil kuc. Osven tova bil i gluh. Tih mu vikali, za6toto bil nqm. Realno poglednato, toi bil i mnogo typ. Zatova i bylgarite mnogo go obiknali i go izbrali za svoi tzar.

* Ivailo
Ivaio bil dobar svinar. Prasetat mnogo go obi4ali, za6toto dobre se grijel za tqh. Zatova i bylgarite go izbrali za svoi tzar.

*Ivan Shishman

Ivan Shishman bil posledniqt tzar predi turskoto robstvo. Bylgarite ve4e nqmali tyrpenie. Zatova mu se radvali kato za posledno. Toi ot svoq strana opravdal doverieto im i si ostanal posleden. Sledva6tite 500 godini bylgarite prestanali da si izbirat tzare, a samo sultanite. I ne gi izbirali to4no te.
Taka pi6e v istoriqta.
Koi znae sled vreme kak shte byde?

Ciao.



BONO, COULD YOU SAY ME THAT IF THERE IS STH TRUE ABOUT THIS :D:D:D ???????????

e-bye

[giani_82]

Sure :cool:
it's all true :tongue: :D

[xtc]

Haha, I was sure that someone will like these ... umm well "facts" :D

Mislq 4e prostotiqta i mantalitetat ni e zalojen ot dalboki koreni i edva li skoro ste se promeni.

e-bye

[giani_82]

Well, if there was one thing that makes me proud to be a bulgarian it was the History for we are among the oldest countries in Europe.
But this one is a bit too harsh :)
U're right about our prostotija ama to njama kak viz v kakvi uslovija ziveem.

[xtc]

Of course that the article is a bit harsh, but however, this was a nice way to show some details of our thinking - we are stubborn in our self stupidy and will never change... most of us at least.

And yes, Im very proud of many things.... the sad thing is that they are all in the past, but we don't live in the past, we live now.
:D :D Bono, did you like this? ;) What a great articles - full of irony.... the typical thing (irony) for all "LAJEPATRIOTI"..... to4no kato mene :)

e-bye

[xtc]

Oh, I'll write it on Bulgariann, cuz:
1. It's hard for me to write it in ENG
2. Better for us, if the non-Bulgarians don't learn about this :D .... :depress:

well, So, Here We Go:


by Martin Karbovski :star: :star: (yea, that's right - he works for E-goist Magazine :star:)

Vulgaria (imidjat ni pred sveta)

Bulgarite sa trudolubivi i gostopriemen narod, predimno skotovydci, jiveesti v plodorodnite zemi pod deltata na p. Dunav.

!!!

"... a vystnost bylgarite sa skotoboici i skotoebci..."

Gonoto tvyrdenie e izkazano ot zrql angli4aninpo vreme na poslednoto evropeisko pyrvenstvo po futbol ('96). V nego nqma ni6to li4nno i ne e vlojena obida. Tova e edinstvenoto, koeto znaqt malkite angliiski 4ove4eta vpregnati da jiveqt, orat i da se plodqt za imepriqta Greitbritan. Tezi malki angliiski 4ove4eta naistina mislqt po na4ina, po koito se izrazqvat.

@

Kogato svetovnoto informacionno selo si sazdade mnenie za nqkogo, ve4e e kasno da se protestira. U nas oba4e nikoi ne se se6ta da protestira ili komentira pone po nqkakav na4in imidja na t.nar. "rodina". Nie se pravim, 4e ne zabelqzvame obidnoto i prenebrejitelno otno6enie na drugite nacii kam na6ata. I vse pove4e prili4ame na 4oveka ot poslovicata, koito go plueli, a toi kazval 4e dyjd vali :rolleyes: Tolkova mnogo obidni nesta, kazani za edna strana i za edna naciq kato bylgarite - nqma. Goredostta na bylgarina e kato panica le6ta - nikoi ne q razbira i nikade nqma da povqrvat, 4e struva ne6to. Predi da zapo4ne oba4e anti-bylgarskiqt paskvil, systaven predimno ot citati, trqbva da definirame dve aksiomi:
BG imidjat se syzdava predimno ot bylgari
imidjat na Bulgaria e vsy6tnost tova, koeto tq predstavlqva. Ako nqkoi ot ne6tata, koito ste pro4etete po-dolu vi se storqt normalni i estestven, to togava vie ste ripi4ni Bulgari, koito jiveqt v toaletna i otdavna sa prestanali da zabelqzvat kafeviq cvqt :rolleyes:

h + u = i :D :tongue:

T.nar "rodina" e imala mnogo imidj-makers prez dylgata si istoriq. Krainiqt geo-politi4eski rezultat ot imidjosvaneto na t.nar "rodina" e totalen anti- i negativen imidj. Kakto pisa naskoro nemski jurnalist "...ako Bulgaria ne systestvuva6e, nikoi nqma6e da zabeleji..." :irritate: Zastoto imidjat na Bulgaria e nesto obratno na imidja na martveca. Za martveca se govori ili dobro, ili ni6to. Za Bulgaria se govori ili ni6to, ili lo6o. Kalamburyt e evtin, no ste vi stane skyp, tyjen i jestoko veren izvan Kalotina. Nie naistina sme kato negrite ot reklamata na Sprite, koito ne se doverqvat na imidja. Te prosto jaduvat za Evropa.

¹

Imame golqm problem s imeto na tazi strana. Gryckite ( :fero: ) hronisti oste sas syzdavaneto na Bulgarskata dyrjava sa se opitali da predstavqt bulgarite kato ujasni varvari, koito nqmali kapka svqn i kultura. Drevnogryckite imidj-makers na Bulgaria sa ni syzdali nai-nepriqtniq problem - izlqzlo ni e ime na prostaci. Izvan etimologiqta na dumata "Bulgari", gyrcite prika4ali edin etiket - pri potymnqvane na syglasnata "B" se polu4ava onova, koeto ne e trqbvalo da se slu4va v 4isto imidjov plan.
Tova e dumata "Vulgari", koqto na gryzki ozna4ava samo edno: "prostak". Ako ne znaete, ve4e ste dostaty4no golemi da nau4ite - vie jiveete v edna strana, 4ieto ime za drugite nacii zvu4i kato "Prostakia".

(.)

Za ka4estvata na Bulgarina i krasotata na Bulgaria sa izpisani tonove hartia. Istinata oba4e e mnogo dale4. Bulgarite, misleiki za sebe si kato za velika naciq, prili4at na debilno bolni hora, koito ne razbirat kakvo lo6o vpe4atlenie syzdavat okolo sebe si. Drugiat vid Bulgari (te sa edni i syst6i) pyk s paradoxalnia si nacionalen nihilizam i opit za kulturnost syzdavat oste po-golemi vredi. Zastoto ako v Germania re6i6 da se dyrji6 kulturno - sre6ta6 takava syprotiva i podozrenie, 4e tykmo nemecat na povqrva v "razli4niq bulgarin" i hop, toi ne izdyrji i se nasere. Pyk i e mnogo trudno na edin bylgarski qdren fizik da ubbedi nemcite, 4e e istinski qdren fizik, sled kato po RTL v systoto vreme te4e reportaj za drugi trima bulgari: kradec na kola, izobretatel na novo gorivo i eshumatoryt na Charlz Chaplin.

Taka syvsem lo6iqt imidj se razdelq na dva potoka: imidj-in i imidj-out. Pyrviqt se syzdava u nas, kogato doidat 4ujdenci, vtoriqt navyn, kogato izleze Bulgarin.

(...in)

............ Aide sledvastia pyt, 4e stana mnoo dylgo moi :tongue:



BTW, the best is to come... stay tuned!! :)

e-bye

[luba]

So, xtc you like EGOIST.There are some good articles from time to time.Many people think Karbovski is stupid and always talking gibberish but I dare say he has a very original way of thinking.Have you read the October edition-a great article about America.That's what I call good journalism!:) :kiss:

[xtc]

Hehe, Yes, once (in March) I had nothing to do and went to the kiosk and was searching for a sport newspaper, but there wasn't anything and I got the e-magazine :) Since then - I always buy it. Regardless if I must stay hungry or something when I give the 5 lv for the e-magazine. This is my "spiritual remedy" :) :heart:

Yea, I read the article about the American commercials and so, the part about the gay-dogs and the ppl who are not sure if they're gays I liked much :D However, I've read fat better things than that.

If you don't know Karbovski has released a book called "One" with his articles. There is also a web-site, where you can find hos works and materials :star:

MARTIN KARBOVSKI :star: (http://karbowsky.hit.bg/)
:star:


e-bye

[xtc]

......

(in)
Kakvo se govori za nas ot nas?!

4e Horata v Bulgaria sa trudolubivi, inteligentni i gostopriemni. 4e stranat ni e krasiva. 4e Jenite ni sa krasivi :kiss:. 4e majeti ni sa golemi eba4i :eek: 4e imame bogata istoriq. Krasivo 4ernomorie, Albena, Zlatnite, plodove i zelen4uci, darzost i krasota, gordost i nerazbiraemi predrasydyci.

Izvadete si 4ernite ogneni balkanski o4i i si slojete za malko vodnisto-sinite anglosaksonski dzarkel, s koito te ni nabludavat. Kakvo ste zabelejite? Laina, Laina, Laina. :dazed: I dokateto ti stiga pogleda - oste malko Laina. :D Anglo-saksoncite oba4e sa u4tivi kopeleta i kogto sa u nas - te obqvqvat tezi Laina za exzotika :dielaugh: A kato se priberat se prevrystat v isitnskite imidj-makers na Bulgaria ot posledniq den. Tezi hora na pravqt na prah vsi`ki iluzii, v koito ve4e i nie ne vqrvame.

PRIMERNO iluziqta za trudolubiv narod. Trudolubivi varvari ne systestvuvat. Ako Bulgarite bqha trudolubivi, stqha pone da si okosqt trevata v dvora. Pove4eto Bulgari gi marzi da se kypqt pone edin den v sedmicata :D i nai-ve4e gi marzi da si organizirat toplata voda v kystata si.

Gostopriemni hora. Gostopriemni li sa horata, koito se hvalqt , 4e piqt vino ot 4erepa na sysedite si :D Gostopriemni sa, oba4e nikoi ne iska da zamrykva po tazi geografska shirina. Ako vi podslonqt ste go napravqt s edna malko prezumpciq, 4e i vie ste gi pokanite v kitnata si malka kysturka v grafstvo "Essex", na brega na "Shortsburry". Istoriqta? Oyyyy, yout histori e pylna s robstva, nacionalna inertnost i predatelstva (kato v istoriqta na vseki drug narod btw). Nacionalniqt duh vaobste ne systestvuva - systestvuva defektno izroden individualen duh, koito obi4a da se samonari4a s nisto-nezna4estata duma "narod". Na6ata isinska BG istoriq e predstavqna dosega vinagi kato nacionalna histeriq, kadeto se obarkvat kal4istata na imperskoto proto-samo4uvstvie i konopa na robskoto ultra-syznanie.

Onova, koeto vijdat anglo-saksnonskite vi o4i v rezultat na tazi istoriq e 4e Bulgarite s cigani. Navsqkade cigani, cigani, cigani. Trqbva da znaete, 4e reitinga na ciganite v anglosaksonskite strani e edin izklu4itelno visok reiting. V Essex i Hamburg se govori za romanti4nite svobodni duhove na djipsitata. :dazed: :wth: Te v drevnostta kradeli kone i umirali za jeni. :D E, v Bulgaria cigani nqma. Ima murgavi bulgari, koito ste vi otkradnat tasovete na Volvoto oste na granicata. Vapreki mnogo slu4aini cigani - nikoi ne umira za jena po pytq. Ima murgavi bylgarki, koito ti predlaga - "vadjaina" - po 5 za 100 DM. I grozno, grozno, grozno - anglosaksonecat pita: "... be da gi eba v Bulgarite, kade q skriha tazi krasiva strana, za koqto se govore6e v prospekta...". Cqlata Bulgaria prili4a na CNN-reportaj za Che4nq i Kosovo. Ka4ete se na vlak - vatre dori ni6to da ne pipate - nejnite vi anglo-saksonski race ste po4nat da lepnat sled 4as s tipi4noto BDJ-lepnene na race :D , koeto se izmiva trudno. WC? Hui vece, batence! :dielaugh: Veceto e priklu4enie, koeto posle razkazva6 na priqteli :D :D :

"... srah v Bulgarska toaletna: vlakat drusa, toaletnata e po-mrasna ot tazi v "Trainspotting", oba4e az smelo si navirih anglosaksonskiq gyz i ucelih dupkata :dielaugh: :dielaugh: :D :D Kopeleta - nqma da povqrvate - v Bulgaria vlakovoto Laino pada na relsite i si ostava tam. Predpolagam, 4e posle moje bi gi sybirat..." :rollani:

Oyyy, Zofia?! Ein hubsche stad! Mmm, Aligzandar Nevvskei? Veri interesant! Celta na vodnisto-sinite vi anglo-saksnonski o4i e Zofia. Vie ste ubedeni i ste 4uvali, 4e tq e edna druga dyrjava. Tyrsite s ot4aqnie nacionalni, arhitekturni simvoli, koito da izmiqt o4ite na mnogostradalnata bulgarska nacia. Predvaritelnata ugovorka e, 4e vie naistina dobronamereno iskate da si razgledate tazi strana i da si sazdadete... kakvo?! Vpe4atlenie, mi da. Imidj, razbira se! Veri importnat ting!

Parviat adski imidj sa panelnite kompleksi. Te sa rodeni grozni i ste umrat grozni. Anglosaksonecat se pita - kak e vazmojno da se jivee taka?! Takiva arhitekturno-lainqni ansambli ima samo v Rumania i Russia. Ujasat idva kogato razberete, 4e tova e ve4niqt stremej na Bulgarinat - da polu4i jiliste v Drujba 2. Drujba? Dave? Was ist das??! Oy, Friedenschaft zwei? Ja, ja!

Uer is da centrum? Centarat e grozen. I otnovo, kato panelenite komplexi, sqka6 dokato sa go stroili tozi grad nqkoi e natiskal sgradite sas zadnika si i te sa ostanali niski. Priemete i tazi arhitektura kato exzotika. Potyrsete nacionalnia simvol. Kade e Bulgarskata "Aifel-Tower? Kade e Sofiiskata statuq na svobodata? Kade sa Big-Ben, Barselonskite kuli, pone nqkakav Akropo dreven, a? Ste vi pokajat NDK. "Neshanal palas of uot? A-ha! Of culture, veri uel!"

NDK naistina e simvol. Ako opravim plo4kite, mojem i da se gordeem i da blagodarim na soc-epohata, 4e se razpisa v arhitekturata. Oba4e edno ne6to ne mogat da si obqsbnqt i prostqt anglosaksonskite ni o4i, koito jaduvat za simvol! Za emblemati4en imidjov znak na tozi grad i tazi strana. Znaete li koe im pokazvat na anglosaksoncite? Pametnika na Star4ev!
Kopeleta, exkurzovodite na Sofia ot nqmane kakvo da pravqt, razpravqt, 4e tova e simvolat na Sofia. Beda!! Ad!! Zasto!! Ujas - po-dobre imidjat ni da be6e praven or IRA, ETA i PKK, samo ne i tova - pametnik na kulturata! Ne iskam da mislqt za men kato za tova nesto! Boga mi, daite go na ciganite da go pretopqt!...

Uspokoite se - nie sme anglosaksonci i ne trqbva da se panikjosvame.. Tova nesto e naistina celokupniq imidj na naciata. Pametnikat na kulturata e ogromniq feti6, neudobniq vibrator na Bulgarite i tehen imidj. Nacia, koqto ako ima tolkova golemi baterii, ste gi postavi v osnovata na jelqznoto prodalgovato govno i kogato to zapo4ne da vibrira, cqlata naciq ste si go sloji i ste se ebe v gyzy do smyrt. Do smyrt!


Star4ev, jiv li si brat? Mahni tova nesto, otkaji se ot nego bez da go izhvyrlq6, nqka ostane kato preduprejdenie za bednite pokoleniq ili kato krystoslovica za izvynzemni :D. Oba4e go mahni, samo da ne e tam. Ili go zalei s raztopeno styklo, kakto kehlibaryt zaliva nepriqtno nasekomo ot drevna epoha.

Drugo kakvo! Ku4eta! Ku4eta ima i v Rim. Dolnoprobni barove, lo6o piene, socialisti4eski avtopark. Tova go ima navsqkade ot Viena nadolu. Nqma ni6to za gledane. A, horata! Horata v Bulgaria sa grozni, neugledni, umoreni i stari. Izglejdat nekypani. I ponqkoga kato sa v lo6o nastroenie, ti se struva, 4e si popadnal ne na Rakovska (ou, Vulgarian Broduei!), a na nqkakvo "freak-show". Koi kaza, 4e momi4etata v Plovdi po glavanta bili krasivi?! Tezi momi4eta?? "... Ou, Mein God, u nas taka se obli4at kurvite. Hubavo e, 4e imate mnogo mladi kurvi po ulicite - oba4e te ne znaqt i kapka angliiski - otgore na tova ne znaqt kakvo iskat i kolko struvat..." Vsystnost anglo-saksonskite ni o4i trqbva da priznaqt edno ne6to - Bulgarskite jeni ne sa 4ak tolkova kosmati, kolkoto se govori v Hamburg ili grafstvo "Essex". Ima i gotini "chicks".

Pi4ove, gadna e tazi strana. Ne hodete tam. Tova e mqsto za turizam samo za psuhqsali urban-avanturisti, koito sas $100 q obikalqt. I kakto "jungle-avanturistite" se kefqt, kogato popadnat na kopulaciq mejdu slonove - taka i te se kefqt kogato popadnat v ciganska kompania, svada s nojove ili amputiranata magistrala pri Orizovo. Tam kadeto stavat katastrofi.

) ...out... (

...........

The Next time :)

e-bye