I talked to Petrinha on msn just Wednesday, two days before her death. She asked me for advise on her breathing issues, I offered it. Even then there was no alarm, no serious cause for concern, only her constant optimism and positivity. I regret, I feel like I didn't do enough.
My regret grows even stronger when I realize I can't feel real grief for her like you do a family member or long time friend. The internet chasm is just too big, there is just too much of a virtual world still between us all. I wish I would have met her so I could express real sorrow for her, but it's not to be. I can only lament and continue obliviously not realizing what we have all lost until it hopefully clicks.
Petrinha, I miss you friend.
I only knew you for a short time but you were more unique than almost anyone I've ever talked to. You were one of the smartest people I have ever met in my life. It is some cruel fate that you have been taken this way, in such a precarious manner, as if someone opened a trap door and decided this gem of a human being was no longer needed amongst the duds. I wish I could feel anger. I wish i would break a few things over you, but I can't friend, you were just too distant to me.
I can't ask you to rest in peace and I won't. You were too much of a dancer weren't you? Your soul should not rest, it should carry the wind over hilltops and seacliffs and dance in meadows between dandelions and sunflowers.
I wish you weren't still so vague to me, but rather a lifelong friend so I could do you justice, I wish a lot of things but don't know how to express them now.
I will say farewell to you now with the hope that you make it to where all adventurers, all warrior poets go, to Happy Hunting Ground.
XT, one last thing. Let this be a wake up call to many of you. You hold such shallow animosities many of you, over sports rivalries or winning and losing of distant sports teams. Keep perspective, don't be bitter enemies over a soccer ball. Focus on things that make you truly content, not that which stirs your anger. Remember the words of Lincoln:
"We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature."
“My principles are only those that, before the French Revolution, every well-born person considered sane and normal.”
― Julius Evola